4 – Three’s a Crowd

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I end up having to sexually service one more goblin which might have been a mistake. Having a roof over his head and someone to presumably vent his libido, the goblin I brought back refused to leave.

“No leave. Stay with b*** witch!” He says, dancing around the house.

“You can’t just— SIGH.” 

Killing him would be easy. I have the power to do so. But he hasn’t done anything to warrant being killed over, nor has he shown any inclination towards violence. If I put him to sleep and take him back to his people, they might invade my home en masse.

For some reason, the enchantments and wards don’t affect him either. Is he too dumb to recognize a dragon’s presence? Or smart enough to know it’s just an illusion?

I could keep him as a servant, make him subservient to me and have him help me around the place. On the other hand, keeping him presents a whole host of issues. His high libido being one of them. 

Well… if he ever becomes too much to handle, I could just send him far deeper into the Expanse so he can’t find his way back.

“Fine… you can stay.”

“You wife now. Make babies now!” He jumps on me and starts humping my belly.

“Living here means you play by my rules. Or…” I pry him off and cast a spell to bind him to the ground. The tip of my staff ignites, and I lower the flames to his face.

“No! No hurt. Understand b*** witch!” His dick immediately goes limp.

I sigh, surprised and relieved that my hollow threat worked. “Good. First, what’s your name?” 

“Me, Gurk. B*** witch scary.”

“Okay, Gurk. From now on, no more calling me b*** witch… it’s embarrassing…” I clear my throat. “You will refer to me as Mistress Ellori.”

“Mistress Ellori.” Gurk repeats.

I pick up Rio. “This is Rio.”

“Rio. Food.”


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Rio jumps away from my grasp, his hair on end and hissing at Gurk. “No! Rio is my familiar, you can’t eat him even if you try.”

“Not understand, but okay.”

I release Gurk from the spellbindings. The three foot tall goblin has the intelligence of a young child, but can grow to have the strength of an adult.

“Gurk,” I call to get his attention. “You’ll be working for me, and in return I give you a place to stay. You must behave, or it’s back to the wilds.”

He is suddenly filled with fear. “No send Gurk back, Mistress! Danger! Do anything to stay!”

I pat his bald green head. He’s kind of cute… if it weren’t for his ugly features and lack of clothings. I find a basic tunic and pants for him. He was resistant at first, but eventually acquiesced.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Who could it be now?”

I go to open the door to the same guard who sent me on the quest to save the women. He takes his helmet off and apologizes for returning so soon. “Miss Ellori, we forgot to tell you. The elders of Durai would like for you to visit— AAAHHH!”

“What?!” I’m taken aback by his sudden panic.

“THERE’S A GOBLIN RIGHT BEHIND YOU!” He draws out his sword and tries to push his way through.

“Wait, wait! He’s harmless!” I look back in the room and Gurk has hid behind the table, cowering. Which is strange, because I distinctly recall this guard telling me they were aggressive to them.

“Those filthy creatures are not harmless. We must put them down.” The guard says.

“He’s… Gurk is under my protection. He’s my servant, and I will not allow you to harm my property.”

“M-Miss Ellori…?” His eyes shift between me and Gurk a few times before he decides to sheath his sword. “Very well… I won’t judge you for your… ahem… peculiar predilections.”

My face turns red. “It’s nothing like that, I swear! A-anyway, what were you saying about a meeting with elders?”

“Yes, they would like to discuss concerns more pressing than goblins.”

“This sounds serious. How concerning is this?” I ask, preparing for the worst.

“I’m not privy to the details. That will be between you and the elders. They ask that you see them when possible, and will accommodate your arrival.”

I shut the door as he leaves and slump back against the entrance. Gurk hugs my legs and whimpers. “Mistress protect Gurk. Gurk do same.”

“Well, Rio.” I say, sighing. “Looks like our life in the Weeping Expanse just got a little more crowded.”



First thing’s first, I need to replenish my supply of rejuvenation potions. In order to do that… I need to stimulate these stupid anoragrathi. 

I can’t openly vent my anger at Headmaster Anora, but I can at least curse the flowers I named in her honor.

If I just stand way back here and conjure wind to stimulate them instead, I might not have to go in myself. I’ll be safe as long as I’m at the maximum seven feet away from the plot. Alright.

I cast a rain cloud to water the plot when suddenly—

“Gurk help Mistress!”

“Hm—” Gurk comes running into the plot with a watering can. “GURK, STAY BACK!”

My warning comes too late, as half a dozen tentacles sprout from the ground and grab ahold of the goblin.

“Ahhhhhhh! Mistress, help! No, Gurk no want! Don’t put in— AAAAHHHHH!”

The tentacles let him go once they had their fill. Gurk retreats back into the house, rubbing his butt and traumatised by the plants.

“Plants… tentacles… scary… Gurk go lie down.”

I guess it’s become a custom for members of this household to get attacked by the anoragrathi…

Just in case, I should build some fencing around the plot.

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