Suddenly A Star – Part 1
Class ends in the same, old nostalgic way. The moment Mr. Gordon leaves, however, the class erupts into noise and everyone surrounds me- closer than they should be. I guess kids are always ones to skirt the rules when something exciting happens. They throw questions one after another at me. No one asks anything outside of the usual so I try my best to get out of the situation as politely as I can. Jamie helps me by making up an excuse that we need to talk.
By the time we’re up on the roof, I realize it wasn’t just an excuse. I have no idea what I’m going to say to her. But being back on this roof gives my wild thoughts a pause. It’s nostalgic in a twisted way. This is where Rachel died, and the day I saw something… else?
“Wait.”
“Huh? Don’t interrupt my thoughts, Eve. I’m trying to collect them in order to yell at you properly.”
Ignoring her, I walk toward the edge of the roof. The fools didn’t even put in more of a security measure. But that’s unimportant. There’s something I’m missing.
“Ok. So, I’m too confused. Just start from the top and I’ll decide where I can find a subject to yell at you about.”
“Shut up Jamie.”
I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. But she looks madder than anything. But that changes quickly as I hoist myself up onto the ledge.
“What are you doing?!” She asks in a tone dripping with abject terror.
“I’m missing something. Something important.”
“Eve. Rachel’s been gone for a long time. Now get down from there before you get hurt!”
Jamie’s nearly in a panic now as she tries to coax me down. Honestly, I should be more scared, but I’m not. Perhaps having been nearly killed too many times does that to a person. But I’m not indestructible here, I think. I can’t feel the magik within me, or feel the pounding of my Rei.
I walk across the narrow ledge. My balance is more perfect than I would have expected. My training never covered this kind of thing, but perhaps my natural senses have gotten better.
I make my way around the fool’s ledge with a sense of deja vu eating at me. There’s a memory tugging at the recesses of my mind and I don’t know why, but I can feel that it’s very important.
“Jamie, what happened here this day?”
“What? You can’t tell me you forgot!” she yells.
“Then recant your tale as if I have.” Jamie looks at me like I grew two heads.
“What the hell kind of language is that?” Odd. Was my manner of speech so off as to warrant attention? Since when, I wonder?
“Spin your tale across the tapestry of air before I hang you with its threads!” I say in a mocking voice dripping with words you would not hear in today’s world.
Where did they come from? Even in Arsea, no one spoke like that. It seems to have the effect I wanted however, because she speaks to me, everything from that day, that she’s privy to. But there’s something missing. I don’t know what, but it’s causing my head to throb.
I have to know, so I stop walking and step closer to the edge. Half of each foot sticks over now. The wind decides right then to whip my hair out of its ponytail and spread my blaze wide as if challenging the sun itself.
“Eve!”
I take no further step. I don’t need to. My shadow extends wide across the courtyard below and a long-lost memory flashes through me. A memory of pain, and cowardice. Of darkness.
I remember now, what it is I saw that day. Like a portcullis raising to allow the fighters to enter the arena, so too has my mind allowed in dormant thoughts long forgotten.
I remember darkness around Rachel. I remember it slowly coming into existence and teasing her with that whisper of a laugh. It jingled on the wind that day, mocking our situation.
But this is the real world, and the fantastical doesn’t happen. So perhaps my world has never been very real- perhaps it’s the world of ghosts and ghouls.
I just want to return to being a normal person, but I can’t. I am not the Zeroth, I am just a normal person. But my… friend died that day- no, murdered. Perhaps when she told me, “It isn’t what you think,” she knew what was going on. Maybe she was suffering from a deeper tale then I realized; and I am ever the fool. I run and run and run and leave everything behind.
But I will take responsibility for this, even if it takes me my entire life.
Just then, I feel someone draping their arms around me, an impressive task considering there is almost no room up here. A marginal shift of weight could send us over the ledge either way.
“Let’s step down now, Zero.”
Gee’s voice is like honey as it reverberates through me. Like a long-lost friend, a small jolt runs through me.
Indeed, I am no Zeroth. But perhaps, the Zeroth is now me. Perhaps it has won.
But that terrifies me all the same, because I’m a coward.
“Alright, time to get down,” I tell them.
Once I’m on the roof proper, I see Jamie with a look of disbelief on her face.
“Where the hell did you come from?”
“I’m Gee, nice to meet you!”
Gee tells her cheerfully while sliding a thumb across Jamie’s cheek. Normally, Jamie is incredibly strict about the rules but I’m guessing with a blush like that, she can’t be too bothered.
“Down Gee.”
She slinks away from Jaimie with a wry smile.
“Now that you’re safe, I’m outtie.” With that, she hops off the roof.
When Jamie and I both run to peer over, she’s nowhere to be seen. Yet, I sense a small giggle from my shadow. I can’t help but shake my head.
“What the hell was-” Jamie tries to speak up but I place a single finger on her lips. She goes deathly silent as a look of confusion assaults her face.
“Time for our physical class. Lunch is over. But before we go, have you seen Him recently?”
She cocks her head at me. “Who?” she asks.
“Him! You know! The golden boy!”
Her confusion leads me down a road I don’t think I want to walk. Just then the chime interrupts us. Well, I can’t blame her for not remembering some random guy I liked. She barely ever talked to him.
I tell her we’ll talk about it later and for now we need to go to class.
But I can’t stop the thoughts going wild in my mind. I try to ignore them and focus on the need to meet Him again. If I can just find Him, then I can set my life down a normal path again.
