Really? REALLY?
Fine.
Such a boring prompt!
But I’ll write for it.
I leave my computer, traversing my house’s halls and stairwell, making my way to the backyard. When I get there, I exit the house and locate a blue lawn chair. I unfold it, placing it down in the grass and sit down.
I don’t like this one bit! I’m not an outside person! The sun shines brightly upon me, irritating my poor, fragile skin. Sunscreen might help BUT I’M TOO LAZY TO APPLY ANY!
I recline on my lawn chair in my backyard, eyes closed and ears open, listening.
I hear bugs chittering, birds screaming, cars running, and dogs barking. Nothing special! What was the writer thinking when they made this prompt?!
Frustrated, I lay still, counting the seconds pass. Gawd, they never end! So many seconds in a f****** hour! I hate it! Jeez! Angry at myself for even bothering to do what the prompt says, I don’t waste time putting away the lawn chair and simply head back inside, deciding to b******* something for the prompt.
……
“Is he gone?”
“Yeah, dumbass. Don’t you have eyes?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it! I just want to make sure that he doesn’t suddenly come back outside to put the chair away.”
“Just messing with you, bro.”
Two little blue birds converse atop a branch of the sole tree in Faebyen’s backyard.
“What do you two gotta worry about? He sees either of ya speak and you can fly away! But me? I’m stuck ‘ere.” Faebyen’s neighbor’s dog just a fence over points out.
“Stay out of this, mutt!”
“Yeah, we don’t talk to your kind!”
The dog chuckles. “This again? We went over this so many times! I’m not a huntin’ breed!” The dog sweetens his tone. “Yall sit around ‘ere so often. Least yas could do is speak to me…”
Yet the birds don’t reply, annoying the dog.
“I’m here for you.” A tiny voice says from beneath the dog.
“Oh, shut it. You haven’t and won’t live long enough to be interesting.”
“I’m interesting, dog! Just listen: the other day, I was tussling with a spider, and a big one at that, too! May have been a tarantula, but I’m not sure. I’ve only ever heard of those from spiders who’re always bragging about having a strong cousin. Anyway, I was tussling with this spider, right? And…”
“This little grasshopper’s learned to lie already, eh? Still boring, though.” The dog thinks, tuning out the grasshopper.
“EEEEH, MY DOG! I’M BACK!”
The dog excitedly turns, forgetting about the funny birds it was previously listening to and focusing its attention on who just entered his backyard.
“FROGGO! Where’ve ya been! I missed you!” The dog yaps happily at the frog, very pleased to hear its friend’s croaks again.
“Y’know, dog! That last rainfall swept me away! There was just too much water for me to fight against.”
“Awww, I’m sorry, froggo! If only I was out ‘ere with ya when it happened. My owners pulled me inside and outta the rain…”
“It’s fine, dog! I know you couldn’t do anything to help me. But if you feel like you owe me for not being there to help, I have an awesome story I need someone to listen to…”
