8th June, XXXX
You are not a hunter… Does that mean I’m in his way? Or he simply wants to protect me?
After all these, I still do not want to hinder him. I still want to help him. I even risk my entire family to help him. How pathetic. When will you wake up, Liana? Why do you still trust him unconditionally? Is it worth risking your family?
It’s no use regretting when I am already on the carriage to Coral Cliff. At the end of the day, I still trust him unconditionally. When he said he would protect my family, I trust him. I left my family and came all the way here. He has resources, it’s much better than me hitting around blindly.
(To be quite honest, it’s all a lost cause when Mother heard about that. She literally packed my suitcases and pushed me into the carriage.)
And I really doubt there is something Sebastian could not do when he has already set his mind on it. That’s why in the end I agreed to (or was forced to) come along.
What I didn’t expect was him coming along.
“I thought you weren’t coming along…” I asked Sebastian who was sitting right across me on the carriage.
“I have something to do there. I will return after staying a few days,” he replied without looking up from his documents.
“Ah, I see.”
Then it was followed by silence, which wasn’t a surprise. I have already gotten used to Sebastian’s style silence. I took out the novel I have prepared for the journey and read all the way to the inn.
We were on the road for one week when we finally arrived at the pier. During the entire trip, it felt like I was back to when I was married to him. We traveled in the same carriage and dined together. Surprisingly it doesn’t feel awkward, I even feel kind of relaxed. I don’t have the pressure to keep thinking what to say as I know Sebastian does not expect me to entertain him. However, when I see something interesting and share it with him, he will reply in his short concise manner.
This makes me realize something, did my hatred and depression blind me? I had this firm believe that I suffered a lot during my entire two years living with him. But now that I look back, in the first year of our marriage, before the famine started, before the gossips circulated, before I found out that my family’s death was not an accident, before Sebastian refused to help me, we got along pretty well. Kind of like this.
I feel relax staying by his side. He knows quite a lot of things. Like that time when I saw a tree with some pretty blossoms, he could point out what kind of tree that was immediately.
But even if we get along well, that does not mean I would not break my engagement with him. The betrayal and depression I felt when he refused to help me find out the truth could never be wiped away. Those feelings will forever be a thorn in my heart.
I don’t hate him now, I know he had his reason. The famine, the droughts, the gossips, the traitor… he had his own kingdom to save. But understanding his reasons was one thing, that did not make his betrayal hurt less. I was his wife. He could have promised to help me find out the truth after everything was solved. Not treating my pleading like a joke.
I have a headache just trying to sort out all these mess. We will reach Coral Cliff tomorrow. I heard that the beach and the sea is stunning. I think I need a well deserved holiday.
