Logan’s mental self leaped for joy.
Alex had realized what he’d been trying to do. This was the moment they talked about. The essential part of their entire act. It boiled down to this point. His heart drummed in his chest. His breathing came out short.
Why did he feel nervous now?
“You…” he began to reply, “Share a phone?”
Looking down, Alex smiled sheepishly. She held her hands together to stop them from shaking. Funny enough, she didn’t feel this afraid when her friends found out. It should normally be the other way around, right? She should have been more agitated with them since they mattered more to her.
Or maybe because she just wasn’t placed under this much pressure?
“Well…” Alex bit her lip. She gazed at Logan through her lashes, “We kind of… also share a body so it works out quite well.”
He knitted his brows, “How—”
“We’re one person, Duke” she cut in, fully facing him, “My name is not Sebastian. I am not a boy either.”
She released her hands and clenched them into individual fists, placing them on her sides. She was here to make things right. The best way to do it was with absolute resolve.
Her nerves steeled from the rush of determination.
“It’s a bit complicated,” Alex explained, “I’d understand if you can’t forgive me for it. I’d even understand if you… if you won’t talk to me again.”
She cleared her throat. Her voice had cracked at the end. It wasn’t the best tone for a speech such as this but the words… The words just brought so much power. It made her think what if Logan had cut ties with her back then? Or given the current circumstances, cut ties with her if she had revealed it at this moment?
How could she be so blessed to have someone like him in her life?
Tears pooled a little at the corner of her eyes, “I can’t tell you everything right now but do know that I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t need to do it. It wasn’t something I intended for the fun of it. I���d had moments where I wished for my life to be different… but to live it as not myself?”
“It’s not something I would have wanted” she gulped, glancing up at the ceiling. She held her breath and fluttered her eyes. Then, she sighed. She shifted her attention to Logan’s forehead. It made it seem that she was making eye contact but she couldn’t bring herself to see how he looked at her.
“But there was something I wanted more—which was why I agreed to the conditions.” Alex shook her head slowly. Her eyes turned down at the corners, her lips slightly opened, “I wanted freedom.”
Her last statement echoed louder than any scream from this room. Ms. Smith peeked from the corner of her eye. The audience had gone under a trance. They sat as if stupefied, fully focused on the act. No one had their phones out nor had entertained something else. All of their senses had been captured.
None of them seemed to react badly either.
She exhaled. A bit relieved that her antics were working. She’d have to cross fingers for the after effects. Hopefully, one class could do a major turn on the tides.
At this point, Alex amplified her voice.
“I couldn’t get that unless I forego my identity… and I realized I could still not get it. What is freedom when I can’t live a life? When I can’t be close to anyone and to any degree? It just felt that prison gained a wider space.”
She could see that now. She hadn’t been bothered by it before. She had a quiet life so it didn’t seem any different. Her eyes opened gradually during the weeks she spent with others after they found out. Her and Logan at Aunt Lilly’s house for practice, sleepover with Lauren and Emily, the weekend with Logan, Jae and Emily…
Heck, even yesterday when Max and Colin stayed with her… the liberation she felt was indescribable. She also felt quite lucky that it had been them.
It would have been incredibly hard to lose a friend.
“I know I lied to you,” Alex continued. Her muscles trembled. She wondered if she was doing too much. She turned her head to stare at her shoulder, “I deliberately stated that I had a twin. That was how desperate I am to cling to that little freedom that I did gain.”
She chuckled without humor, “Like, hey…, at least, I can be around people—even if we don’t talk that much. At least, I could walk anywhere without the feeling of being watched. But…, who am I kidding when I’ve been clearly caught? I wouldn’t be able to lie to that extent.”
Closing her eyes, Alex willed herself to relax. She bit her tongue and suppressed the blabber that threatened to come out. If she said too much, it might not be taken in a good light.
She took a step back and gazed directly in Logan’s eyes. Since she stood near the windows, the light from outside reflected in them. They shined like polished jewels, vibrant and rich. They didn’t contain judgment—nothing for her to be scared of.
Instead, they seemed to invite her in.
She unclenched her fists.
“You found me” Alex spoke softly. Her open lips curled into an awkward smile, “And now… this is me.”
The ball fell on Logan’s court. He had watched her silently throughout the speech. That time belonged to her. She tried to hide it but he saw those tears. They tugged his heart. A part of him was saddened that she had to go through this.
She actually owed no one an explanation. It wasn’t any of their business. It wasn’t like they ever cared about her. Most of them left her alone quickly. So now what? They linked her snobbish demeanor to her rich background?
If so… to hell with them!
“Holy shi—schnitzel, Sebastian!” He exclaimed, his eyes popping out of their sockets. He covered his mouth and backed away for a bit, “You’re a girl?!”
If Alex had any tears left, they evaporated.
“With everything that I said, that’s what you have to say?!”
Logan wrapped an arm around his stomach. He doubled over, laughing quietly. His other arm supported his back by pushing down on his bent knee. He had expected just as much from her. She did not disappoint.
He composed himself and wiped off his invisible tears.
At least, she wasn’t crying anymore.
“Viola, Sebastian… whatever your name is…” Logan said. He closed the distance between them, a genuine smile on his lips. He grabbed Alex’s shoulders, “It’s only a name. No matter what gender you are, it doesn’t change you for who you really are.”
He lowered his back. He didn’t give her a chance to look at anywhere else but his face. The audience could go disappear. Whatever this shenanigan would bring, Alex only needed to see that she shouldn’t focus on them too much.
Still, Logan was here to help her with that… so he decided to cite examples, “Does it mean you’re no longer a pain in the ass? No. Does it mean you’re no longer stubborn? No. Does it mean you’re no longer the smartest person in our year? As much as that would have been nice, sadly, it’s also a ‘no’.”
“Gee, thanks” Alex spat, rolling her eyes.
“The point is….” Logan covered his snicker with a cough, “Whether it was when I first met you, or the days that followed, I believe those were all of you. It was just you. People can officially change their name, you know? As for whatever identity you’re hiding, everyone has something to hide. It doesn’t matter how big or small they seem, they all influence a person. Everyone that needs to know them would eventually find out. You know matters? Is what you do after and you’ve done incredible.”
He yanked her wrist.
Alex tripped.
Warm thick arms cradled her back, keeping her locked in place. Her mouth pressed against Logan’s shoulder. The tip of his nose brushed her hair. He inhaled her watermelon scent. It was refreshing and pleasant—different from the popular floral ones.
He counted to five before he loosened his hold.
He pulled back his arms, only to cup her face in his hands. He tilted it up.
He saw the pink tinted lips first. His Adam’s apple bobbed. He flickered his eyes to the right direction. Wide crystal gray eyes stared back at him. He’d never seen them this light. Normally, their dark flecks glared at him.
Today, he almost couldn’t see them.
“And what matters after that? If they stay, they’re good people. If they don’t then, good riddance” Logan stated. He could care less about them unless they’d hurt Alex. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks, “I know not everyone would take it as well as I did but, please know…”
….
…
…
…
…
“That no one matters more than me.”
Alex kicked his leg. The hold he had on her face only tightened. A little bit more and he’d squish her cheeks like a chipmunk. She did not look forward to the pain it would cause.
Logan chuckled. His green eyes and his lips lit up in adoration. On cue, soft gasps filled the still air. The persons that made them immediately covered their mouths. He had never looked more attractive than he did now. It hit them right in the kokoro. Real? Fake? They didn’t care!
On second thought…, they dropped the idea of it being fake.
The obvious affection on Logan’s face said it all!
He was in love!
Internal screaming jumbled their insides. The flow of energy was becoming hard to contain. They wished to hit something but couldn’t! It might break the moment and so they held each other instead. Their hearts rose up in speed at the anticipation of the finale.
“I just… I just see a beautiful person in front of me, inside and out,” Logan conveyed breathily, a husky turn on his voice, “I can only hope that others would be able to see it as well… and grow to like you.”
Alex had joined the audience’s trance from before. She almost didn’t find her voice. She had been placed under a spell—a spell only Logan could reverse. It even surprised her that she could still move her mouth.
“A person that deceived others? For selfish reasons? Be beautiful? Be liked?”
“Why not?” He replied, smirking briefly. His eyes almost completely disappeared from how wide his smile stretched, “I do. I like every bit of you.”
Logan rested his forehead against Alex’s. Her vision of him seemed to zoom in until he became a blur. The side of his nose bumped hers. Tender and smooth skin touched her cupid’s bow. Her lips parted open from the contact.
Breath intertwined in the space between.
It would take less than a millimeter to capture them completely.
…
…
…
…
…
…
The bell rang and shattered the magic inside the room.
“No…!” An agonized cry yelled louder, “Cliff-san, why are you here?!”
