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Episode 128- Nightmare in Reality Final ‘Broken’ Censored
Last Chapter: Musician Hal is trapped in his dream. Turns out that Lea and Musician Hal had a past?!
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Lea confronted me the day before her 15th birthday. It was also a year ago today that I promised to propose to her.
Her eyes filled with seriousness yet grief when she stared at me in the eyes, “Are you going to be like this from now on?” There was sadness in her voice as she asked me this question.
And I wasn’t able to look at her anymore.
She continued with a shaking voice, “You said you love me. Is this love?”
Again, I couldn’t reply.
I love her. But something is stopping me from going further.
Suddenly, she grabbed my shoulders and shouted, “Are you seeing someone else?!” My eyes naturally flew up to meet hers.
‘What is she saying?’ I didn’t understand where this came from and was incredibly confused. Her orbs told me that she truly believed that and before I realized it, anger rushed to my face.
In spite of her eyes, I yelled back! “Someone else?!”
My shout was so loud that Lea’s face flashed green from fright.
I scoffed, “Why don’t you ask yourself this? Do you not have a man that has been waiting for you all these years?” I didn’t know where these words came from and I couldn’t stop myself,
“Is that man not the one who comforts you every day and night while I was away? Don’t you dare lie to my face and deny!” My voice raised more when Lea shook her head to deny my accusations.
“You know in your heart that he loves you! That he sees you differently, yet you kept him close by!” I rambled on and on.
From the moment she kissed me, I knew she wasn’t the naive lady I thought she was. I knew she knew that Kal loves her but I kept quiet. Without realizing it, the more inferior I felt, the more I began to blame her. She had never asked me if I was comfortable with Kal leaving with us a year ago. Has she never once thought about how I would feel?
No that’s not right, she did ask me once if I was alright with their fake public relationship. It was I who allowed them to be close. She wasn’t to blame.
Her beautiful eyes that once filled with innocence and love were filled with nothing but pain and unhappiness. These eyes chilled my heart because I was the cause of her pain.
“I..I..” she began to stutter as tears fell from her eyes. I knew she was looking for the words to fix this situation.
See, even though our relationship has already shattered, she’s trying to glue it back together. Like I thought, she is too good for someone like me.
We can’t be put back together anymore. A vase that had shattered can’t be put back together.
Her soft cries filled the silence before a rustling sound came from outside.
I clenched my fists tight and turned around, “I’m sorry… Please be happy.”
I walked towards the door, passing by Kal who had just arrived, and I left without turning back.
I walked as far as I could for a long time. I wanted to escape. I knew I didn’t deserve her from the start and I still ended up making Lea sad.
I walked and walked until my nose filled with the smell of grass. The fresh air around me suddenly woke me up.
“What… What was I doing this whole time?!” I stared at my palms in shock. My head that had been muddled since the time we escaped from the village became clear in an instant!
The moon shone its light and lit up the meadow in front of me. Just like the day when Lea pushed herself to come to find me, the meadow reflected our love. The promise kiss Lea and I shared began to play in my head.
Did we not promise to love each other and face through everything that came our way together? Did we not promise to be together forever? Why did I… break that?!
Without hesitation, I began to run back. Back to the girl of my heart!
I had thought that it wouldn’t have been too late. I thought that I could still apologize even if I had been gone for a couple of hours.
Who would have known that it would be too late. That it would be the beginning of my worst nightmare.
Many memories flooded my head during the run back. Sweet, and lovable memories made me smile when I reached the door to the house. Many thoughts ran through my head however the number one thing I wanted to do was apologize.
The moment my foot stepped into the house we three shared, a vague and terrible feeling hit me. The spring home felt eerie and uncomfortable.
I walked slowly until I reached our dining table, which had a large cake in the middle. Many bottles of alcohol sat around the cake.
‘But no one drinks?’ I thought, naively.
When I saw that no one was downstairs, I began to walk up the stairs. My heart started to pound like never before, and I was struck by a gust of air. Even without much experience, I could tell what the smell was.
Anxiety, torment, and agony hit me. I stopped in my tracks as my nerves dropped into the pit of my stomach. Without having to look, I understood what the two were doing in the room. Acid threatened to gush out of my esophagus so I turned back.
I didn’t have the right to cry. Tears didn’t come out because I knew I was the one in the wrong. I had already abandoned her. The moment I turned my back on her, I had no right to intervene with her life anymore.
The light coming through the thin curtains indicated that it was her birthday. I sat and waited on the couch in the living room. During these few hours to myself, I was able to think clearly and I waited for anyone to come down so that I could part ways officially.
When the sky started to become brighter, footsteps coming downstairs could be heard. Without turning around, I knew whose heavy steps these belonged to.
The person walking down paused, probably shocked that I was here.
“…. Hal” the person called out. His voice was tinged with guilt, but it couldn’t mask the freshness that accompanied it.
I exhaled, I wasn’t surprised. I turned to Kal whose upper body was bare and covered in unspeakable marks and bid goodbye, “Make her happy.”
I wasn’t angry because I had no rights to. When I faced Kal, my inferiority complex came back and I felt the need to be happy for them. Yes, they are perfect for each other. Childhood sweethearts. Who was he to interfere with this relationship?
Guilt plastered Kal’s face and his head hung down as he gasped for air.
“It.. It was an accident. It’s not her fault.”
I frowned, “No. You should take responsibility. I will leave.”
And I left… I left so that they could be happy.
Right after I left, I began to bawl my eyes out. Sure! I didn’t have the rights to but I was still human! I cried at my worthless failure self and regret. I regret shouting at Lea. Regret not making up immediately and regret never talking to Lea about my feelings deep within.
I was without purpose for a few days and finally decided to continue traveling to help people. Lea was my first and will be my last love. And even if I wasn’t by her side, I wanted to continue doing what makes her happy. I wanted to make her dreams come true and see a world of peace.
Around the same time, news came around that Lea and Kal had gotten married. Naturally, my heart wasn’t able to accept this and I cried again, however, I managed to straighten myself and continue helping people.
Kal and Lea, like me, traveled around Zene. Everywhere they went, the couple spread love and peace. Kal’s martial arts skills improved to the point that he could protect people, while Lea’s music improved by leaps and bounds. Soon after, Kal and Lea were given an edict to enter the Royal Palace and serve the country.
I wasn’t shocked and was proud of the two. The two had saved countless people, they deserved the status and claps given to them. Lea’s illness improved a lot when she entered the palace, and they lived very happily!
3 years later, Kal received a promotion and became the commander of Zene’s knights. No one was able to beat him in a fight and the trust of the citizens in him became immense. No one objected to him receiving the title, and he became a true symbol of peace.
But like fate, I accidentally encountered them during my travels. At the time, Kal and I were 19 years old, and Lea was 18 years old. From a youthful maiden, Lea became a beautiful mature woman. Kal’s beauty amplified and he too looked much more mature than when they last met.
I no longer felt inferior to him, nor did I harbor any ill feelings toward him. I was happy for their relationship, and even more delighted when Lea seemed to be on the verge of full recovery.
However, only shock and astonishment filled their faces. No one looked happy to see me, especially Lea whose eyes showed horror.
Slightly hurt that my first love had such a reaction, even to the point of fainting, I quickly said my goodbyes. Though I was worried that Lea had fainted, I knew not to step over the line and quickly left.
Lea came to look for me exclusively without Kal a few days later. The youthful yet mature appearance she had a few days ago had vanished, leaving only a messy appearance that I never imagined Lea could wear. I couldn’t refuse her anxious self alone so I brought her back to the city to try to calm her down.
Everything about her was off. Incredibly weird. She looked as if she wanted to jump off a cliff because she had done something wrong.
“Not true.. Not true..” she kept whispering with anxious-filled eyes.
Her bloodshot eyes stared at me and I couldn’t help but retort, “Was I supposed to die or something?” The way she looked at me was as if she was shocked that I was even alive. That ‘I’ was sitting across from her.
“Brother, I-”
Just before she could talk, Kal appeared from behind me and patted Lea on her shoulders gently.
“…..”
I stayed quiet and watched Lea’s abnormal reaction. Her trembling shoulders stopped and she looked at her husband in emotion I couldn’t describe.
Kal sighed and rubbed her shoulders, “Sweetheart, you’re pregnant. Please be careful.”
The announcement shocked me, but the looks in Kal’s eyes shocked me more. He did not look one bit happy but instead angry.
In the awkward silence, I offered them my sincere best wishes, “Congratulations! But don’t fight too much to not stress your child out! I am very happy to see you again and I wish you all the best! May heaven be with you.” Though I still loved Lea, I was genuinely happy for her. No doubt that a mini Lea or a mini Kal would bless this world!
After my blessings, I quickly left. I know from my travels that pregnant people tend to be more emotional and that was probably why Lea didn’t welcome my appearance. I reckoned she hadn’t forgiven me yet so I didn’t ask if she was okay. This decision would later become one of my nightmares. If I had stayed then, would this nightmare have stopped?
Following that day, I was ambushed at random. I was in a life-or-death situation for a month straight, and each time I was more puzzled. At first, I assumed they were the same bandits who had perhaps thought I had a large amount of money, but I quickly realized that was incorrect. This could only have been orchestrated by someone who despised me to the point of death. I later discovered that the individual was Kal.
“Why?” I questioned as a mouthful of blood gushed out of my throat.
Did I not give him everything? Did I not leave for his happiness? What was the point of all of this?
Kal looked very infuriated. Like he would not leave if he did not witness me dying and his next words gave me chills down my spine. I wished I had never heard what he said.
No, I wished I hadn’t abandoned Lea with a…monster.
“The hypnotism I worked for years ended up for naught because of you!!” He screamed in hysteria as he pointed his sword to me again.
“Hypnotism?”
Kal’s music was the source of my deep complex for him. His music made me feel a certain way, and the more I listened to it, the stronger it became. His music was the cause of my nightmares.
Lea on the other hand was never hypnotized until her 15th birthday. The first time he hypnotized her was when Lea and I had ‘that’ argument that made me storm out of the house. He hypnotized her to make it seem as if ‘he’ was the one who had left the house and ‘I’ was the one who stayed back.
He made himself, Hal, and me, Kal.
That night, Lea’s intoxication combined with the hypnotism and the unspeakable happened. Kal’s guilty face that morning wasn’t one of remorse, but mockery. He was laughing at me for leaving him this huge opportunity to exploit.
All these years, Lea had never abandoned me. She had always loved me. The person whom she was always married to was ‘me’. And when we coincidentally met last month, reality hit her hard.
I barfed out all the dinner I had the previous day. The truth was so terrifying that I felt that I could die.
“I WILL KILL YOU!! KAL! I WILL KILL YOU!”
My words seemed almost empty as I was immediately slashed by the Commander of Zene. I was unable to do anything to the strongest person in Zene. I was just a worthless and weak guy who couldn’t protect the person I love.
Kal vented his anger and frustrations towards me and left me ‘dead’. I was really ‘almost’ dead. When I woke up again, I went crazy and was unable to see light. Lea must’ve gone through that too.
I was a mess, and the world became nothing but black. I didn’t feel alive, as if I was chained to drown in deep water with nowhere to escape.
That’s when I understood why Kal let Lea and I become lovers when we were younger. It was because he had a strategy in place from the beginning. He just needed to wait until the timing was perfect before swooping Lea into his arms.
Lea… Lea… Lea…
I went insane and destroyed everything I could see. The crimes I committed stacked up to the point that the Royal Knights had no choice but to imprison me in the Royal prison.
The moment I got imprisoned, I saw a dot of light. I knew I was close to Lea. That I was incredibly close to her.
But it was too late. During the time I was deep in my consciousness trying to fight my way out into the dot of light, Lea had passed away while giving birth.
Everything was over. It was too late. Not only was I unable to save Lea, but I was also unable to save her child. The dot of light that appeared in my deep consciousness vanished and I was no longer living.
I grieved and grieved, begged and begged. Every day I would beg her and her unborn child for forgiveness. I wanted nothing but to leave the world just that there was something, no, someone holding me back.
Kal.
That piece of trash became more well known after his death. He became more loved, more famous, and more powerful. I couldn’t go to Lea if that piece of trash was still alive, especially knowing how he stepped on Lea to get to the position he was holding. Who cares if he truly loved Lea, all I wanted to do was drag him to the depths of hell and make him suffer from the agony Lea and I went through.
And so I choose to live. With one arm, I sang about Lea while playing music near the capital’s bridge. I didn’t want to forget about her suffering, and I wanted to remember her with every breath I took. The song ‘A dead lover’ was written for both her and me.
Eventually, Kal noticed that I was still alive and brought me to the Royal Palace; the forbidden room. There he made me a guinea pig, an experiment for his ambitions. Pain filled my body every day until I no longer had my other arm. My below-average face was also gone.
I waited and waited until I could kill him. Yes, every day was painful and I wanted nothing but for Kal to end my life, but the pain in my heart hurts more. The pain Lea went through kept me alive.
I lay motionless, waiting for the opportunity. The chance to put an end to Kal. With my feet, I blew up the forbidden room with the illegal gun powder and chemicals he had smuggled in from who knows where. I had assumed Kal would perish in the blast, but he proved to be resilient. He was tough and still alive and well!
The plan… failed. And after that, I was no longer myself. My memory was gone and I forgot about Lea, the love of my life.
Until today, this moment, where I am currently reliving the nightmares of my life.
I never knew why I had to act ‘insane’ or ‘crazy’ to live but now I know. Even though my memories had perished then, my body still remembers.
“Lea.”
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Author’s note: Haaaahhhhh! I went through an emotional rollercoaster ride. This feels like a whole nother book. Before anyone asks me why I had to dedicate chapters to a not-so-relevant character instead of maybe Louis, Ramon, or anyone else, it’s because it’s a relevant back story to a future character okay?
Author’s Note II: Author’s Note: Repeating, I will be taking a break in August. And I will come back in September with daily episodes or until all the episodes for Book II are completed. If you’re not sure what’s going on and are confused, you can read my announcement and find answers there. (Head 5 episodes back)
