The atmosphere between the two of them must have been so heavy on the way back to Luyuan that as soon as they passed the gates, Shen Zhen ran away to take refuge in Chunxi Hall. When she appeared, she made Tangyue cover her mouth in mortification.
“The Miss’s neck …”
Shen Zhen remembered at once that in that dense forest, that man had wantonly sucked and bitten her through the night. She instinctively covered a spot she remembered had especially been abused with her hand.
“Bring me a bronze mirror.”
Tangyue rushed to the vanity, obeying her mistress. As Shen Zhen raised the bronze mirror with squinting eyes, her small face went up in color. The pinkish marks of yesterday had become dark red in the morning. No wonder Yang Zong had lowered his head immediately when he had beheld her.
Shen Zhen made quickly to her vanity and picked a porcelain pot up, uncorking it she started desperately smearing her powder all over her neck. Smearing, smearing and failing to cover the smallest mark. Tangyue observed her mistress’s frantic movements and the tiredness in those beautiful eyes.
“Is the Miss tired? Would she wish for this slave to prepare her a bath?”
Shen Zhen had spent night and day riding on a horse. Her legs were sore, she moved with difficulty and it was New Year’s Eve to boot. No old dust should be left lingering on her body. She nodded in good faith. It was barefoot that she walked into the bathing room, letting her skirt slide a little lower down her legs at every step. Once her shift had been passed over her shoulders, she dipped a round little toe into her bath. As she sat down, she sighed at the feel of the warm water washing all over her neck. The room was engulfed in a thick fog.
Such delicious comfort made Shen Zhen close her eyes in exhaustion.
Tangyue who had been keeping a watchful eye on her mistress, moved forward to pull her out of the water. But taking pity on what she imagined to have been one of those restless nights the Young Master liked to submit their tender mistress to, the faithful servant started kneading Shen Zhen’s shoulders.
“The Miss will be seventeen years old after the New Year.”
Shen Zhen’s eyes snapped open. She slowly nodded. Seventeen? Indeed. A scene of last year came to mind. They had all been together at the mansion, only mother had been missing. Crowds and crowds of guests had come to visit to celebrate the New Year with the respectable Marquis Yunyang. On the second day of the New Year, her eldest sister had finally been liberated by the Li household so she could visit home. She had specifically come to tease Shen Zhen. Holding onto her youngest sister’s hands, Big Sister had purred:
“My darling Zhenzhen, do you not know why those young men had come yesterday to give New Year gifts to Father? Tell Big Sister, which one do you like best? The Song family’s Wulang or the Qi family’s Sanlang?”
(Translator’s Note: 五郎 (Wulang)/ 三郎 (Sanlang) – the first character is a number that represents the birth order of a young man in his family and the second character means “lad”. Wulang would be Fifth Lad and Sanlang would be Third Lad. These terms are used interchangeably with a man’s personal name. Lu Yan, for example, can also be called Lu Sanlang, as he is the third boy in his family, having two older male cousins. The female equivalent would be –niang. Shen Zhen can also be called Shen Sanniang, Shen’s Third Lass.)
“Why is my darling blushing so? Zhenzhen is already sixteen. Sooner or later, Father will have to negotiate you a good marriage.”
It had been another live. It was as if she had died and been reborn in this strange land, with its distorted rules and laws that challenged her understanding of morality. A strange land ruled by a willful monarch who did whatever he wished with her.
She did not know what had happened to Father. To Big Sister. To Second Sister. She did not know what had happened to her. However, that same willful monarch had had the magnanimity to let her see Hong’er and her dear nanny before the New Year. This was already to be considered as quite good.
Shen Zhen sighed. She truly could not afford to make Lu Yan angry. He had control over her whole existence. Her life, he could easily take. However, he could also cut her off from what she held much dearer, her family. He could throw her sick little brother into the streets and let him die of hunger. And there she went, making this omnipotent man angry.
On the way back, she had spoken three sentences.
“Your Lordships, did things go well, last night?”
“Your Lordships has not slept, he must be very tired.”
“Let me rub Your Lordship’s temples.”
Every word she had said had been met with uncompromising silence. He had even shot Shen Zhen a dismissive, irritated glare to make her keep silent.
After a long while, Shen Zhen cruelly bit her lip, standing up from her bathtub. She knew that as soon as he completed his official business, he would come to settle accounts with her.
Tangyue grabbed a towel, gently wiping her mistress’s body. After having dressed, Shen Zhen finally entered her bedroom with a sad look. Casting a glance through the window, the setting sun welcomed her, signaling the end of the day. The Young Master had yet to come and it was already getting this late.
Tangyue could not help but wonder. Would the Young Master and the Miss not be spending the New Year’s Eve together?
As she walked out of the Miss’s bedchambers, she was met by Sergeant Yang, walking back and forth in front of Chunxi Hall.
“Why is Sergeant Yang here?”
Yang Zong nervously rubbed at his hands, looking like he was about to say something. But he did not open his mouth, making Tangyue all the more nervous.
“Won’t Sergeant Yang speak quickly?”, she whispered anxiously.
Pointing at Chunxi Hall, he asked:
“The Litte Madam … Did she anger the Young Master by any chance?”
Tangyue was taken aback.
“Did you notice anything that would make you think so?”
Yang Zong frowned, scratching at his head.
“Today is the New Year’s Eve and the Young Master is sitting alone in his office.”
“The Young Master is diligent. He has always put his official responsibilities before pleasure.”
Yang Zong shook his head.
“I assumed him to be busy. But as I went in, I saw that the ink on the table was dry …”
Tangyue knew she should not be speaking of her mistress’s affairs, but she couldn’t help herself. She looked back at the building, wanting to say her own piece. Seeing as she hesitated, Yang Zong clicked his tongue.
“I am keeping your back! There is no one behind you. Just say what you know.”
Tangyue slowly started.
“The Miss has had a sad face ever since she came back.”
The two servants’ eyes met, their expression the same. This was so wrong … Yang Zong coughed lightly.
“Could you ask the Little Madam what went wrong and have her come to the study?”
“I fear … I fear she would consider it as my overstepping”, Tangyue tentatively whispered.
“It’s New Year’s Eve? If the new year were to be cursed, how would we live? You know what the Young Master’s temper is like. He will never make the first step!”
One had to pave the road for that stubborn Young Master of theirs. He was a mule when he felt himself offended, though he was the most sure source of offense in any situation. Tangyue hesistated an instant longer before giving in.
“You are right indeed”, she nodded.
As Tangyue walked back into Shen Zhen’s bedchamber, she casually asked:
“What happened to that purse the Miss was embroidering? Did the Young Master like it?”
Shen Zhen was taken aback. She had completely forgotten that small New Year’s gift she had prepared for him. But since he had decided he did not want to talk to her, she was not planning on making herself any more irritating than she already was.
“I haven’t sent it”, Shen Zhen simply replied.
Tangyue pretended to be surprised.
“The girl has spent two nights embroidering without a rest. Why did she not send it?”
Tangyue was more than aware Shen Zhen had not sent anything to the Young Master in the past few days. The good purse, exquisitely embroidered, was lying discarded in the cupboard at the very moment.
Shen Zhen had an unwavering trust in Tangyue. She was after all nothing but a man’s mistress. Some would have even said she was lower in status than a maidservant. A maidservant like Tangyue had, at the very least, kept her chastity and could expect, one day, to be married to a diligent manservant and raise her own family. Yet, Tangyue had always served Shen Zhen and offered her the delicate emotional support of a kind soul. A sort of respect for each other’s character had grown between the two of them. Thus, Shen Zhen took Tangyue’s words to heart.
But thinking of Lu Yan’s cold attitude in the morning, she felt herself wronged. Did she have any say in this relationship of theirs? Any rights? And even when she lowered herself as much as was humanly impossible, he still rejected her advances. How would the Third Miss of the Shen family ever know the art of cajoling?
Choking up, she said the simple truth.
“He seems to be angry with me.”
A single tear slid down her cheek.
Tangyue knew Miss Shen. And she knew Young Master Lu. With a temper like her mistress’s, how could she ever offend anyone? The Young Master must have one-sidedly taken an offense in his head as he liked to do and was making their poor Miss Shen miserable again. It wasn’t the Miss’s fault he was not coming to spend the New Year’s Eve with her.
However, Tangyue also knew that the Young Master could offend the whole world, including the Imperial Household, but that he would not present his apologies if someone were to threaten his life. She had no other choice but to rely on Shen Zhen to take the first step, though she must have been as innocent as a lamb.
“It is obvious the Young Master feels much affection for the Miss. Why does the Miss refuse to bend a little and take the first step?”
Shen Zhen was feeling aggrieved. This suggestion of having to pander to Lu Yan some more, though she did nothing but from morning to evening, made her feel all the more wronged.
“I will … I will …”
Though she had voiced her agreement, tears burst out from her eyes and she sobbed heartbreakingly, as if she had found catharsis in this uncharacteristic upsurge of emotion. Seeing as Shen Zhen was still far from making a move, Tangyue prepared to persuade her gently some more. But then, she heard a heavy footstep coming towards the door. That footstep, every servant knew who it belonged to. The Young Master. Tangyue was overcome with anxiety as she threw herself at the cupboard, found the wretched purse and hurled it at Shen Zhen.
Lu Yan appeared in the doorframe, his eyes two ponds under the night, his expression that of the cold prosecutor preparing to settle a case.
Tangyue immediately retreated to the side.
Shen Zhen raised her eyes, her sobbing coming to an abrupt halt. He hated when she cried.
He walked over to her side, his brows furrowed, his lips set into an unforgiving line. He was unhappy. As he was about to bark at her, his eyes fell on a moon-white sachet by her side. Leaning over, picking it up. He turned it over in his hand, noticing an elegant pattern of silvery bamboo leaves that appeared and disappeared as light washed over them. And then he saw it. One character. “Yan”. His name. Embroidered with care and know-how.
His hand trembled. The dull pain that had been torturing his heart morphed into a compression that chocked him. The fire in his throat made the cold words he had wanted to spit at her melt in an instant …
“For me?”
Shen Zhen was certainly not stupid. She knew better than to ask where that purse had come from. She shot Tangyue a glance from between her thick eyelashes.
She had no choice but to curtly nod. Was it not obvious?! With a “Yan” written on it, she couldn’t have meant it for Hong’er, surely!
Traces of tears were left on Shen Zhen’s cheeks. No man could have remained unfeeling at such a pitiful sight. Lu Yan least of all, though he did not wish to admit it. As his anger had been extinguished, he had become more than willing to take a benevolent stance towards his very own Shen Zhen.
“Why did you not send it to me?”
“The Young Master was busy with his official duties. How could I dare interrupt?”
There was a well-concealed point of irony in her words. Lu Yan did not pick up on it. Rather, he couldn’t help but curse his own self-defeating tendencies. He had spent the day sulking in his study when he could have been indulged by the most beautiful woman of the Empire for ongoing hours.
Angry people were focused on the self. How could they ever think of the grievances of others? That is how normal people were. Lu Yan, for his part, was a rigid, difficult category of and by himself. This afternoon, he had decided three times that he would go settle the situation with Shen Zhen and then, take her out for a stroll. And every time he had jumped to his feet, readying himself, those few words had come to mind.
Break it off.
Yet, seeing that embroidered purse of hers, his heart could not help but soften. He had been too cruel to her. How old was she? What was there to be so angry about? Trying to make sense of his thoughts and the words that kept repeating themselves as an echo throughout his mind, Lu Yan could not help but look up at the beams of the room, as if he had finally accepted his fate. Her needle and thread were like a thousand horses, trampling his anger and arrogance under their hooves.
Taking a deep breath, he walked towards the door, disappearing into the hallway and leaving Shen Zhen behind. However, he reappeared in an instant, a moon-white menswear, a few sizes smaller than his own in his hands. He dropped it in Shen Zhen’s lap.
“Change. I’ll take you out.”
Shen Zhen observed the attire in her lap, raising her eyes with surprise.
“Is this not menswear?”
Lu Yan simply nodded.
“Wearing male clothing makes everything easier.”
Shen Zhen did as she was told. And the costume fit to perfection. Her wait, bust and hips had all been taking into account by the tailor. No wonder Lu Yan had spent day and night caressing her body, uncovering and measuring every part of it with his wandering hands.
She fidgeted with her hair for a long time, desperately grimacing at her reflection in the bronze mirror. Women had much more intricate hairdos than men. And yet, she could not fit her thick mane into that small jade crown Lu Yan had given her. He had no choice but to lend a helping hand, twisting her hair into a tight bun and placing the small ornament over it. As she turned around, he slowly wiped her eyes with his thumbs, dissipating the last remains of tears from her beautiful face.
As Shen Zhen stood up, Lu Yan got a good look at the person in front of him. He could not help but curl his lips in a rapt smile.
What a handsome lad. Jade skin, red lips and pearl-white teeth.
That is how Lu Yan took her out to walk about the bustling streets of Yangzhou.
The evening was exceptionally lively. Food stalls had been installed at every street corner, jewelers had brought their most beautiful creations out for all to see and a red platform had been raised in the middle of the city so that the little people could enjoy dance and music.
Shen Zhen, somewhat used to these types of events, was quite at leisure, stopping in front of a mask stall. She immediately picked up a particularly frightening mask of the demonic official. It reminded her of someone … Someone standing right by her side. Lu Yan, lifting an eyebrow at her choice, leaned in, whispering into her ear.
“You like it?”
Shen Zhen made a small sound of ascent, a smile looming at the corner of her lips. He had no choice but to extend his hand to pay. The vendor was most content.
“The Master’s younger brother truly has great taste. That is such a fashionable item. It represents King Yanluo!”
(Translator’s Note: King Yanluo is one of the ten kings of the bureaucracy of hell. They are called the guardian king-sorters of the ten chambers. King Yanluo is the most famous of the ten and the most present in Chinese iconography, though there is no actual cult associated with the ten kings of hell as they are seen as too ferocious.)
Hearing this, Shen Zhen could not help but laugh out in delight.
“Yes! Indeed!”
Her voice was like the tinkling of bells, full of mirth and joy. And Lu Yan was most willing to indulge her, even if it was at his own expense. Such happy times passed the fastest. The moon soon appeared in the black sky, reminding them that they were closer to this new year than they thought. Shen Zhen raised her eyes to observe Lu Yan’s profile.
“Should we go back?”, she unwillingly whispered into the night.
He for his part only patted the jade crown on her head. Such reluctance to leave made him smile slightly.
“Let me take you somewhere else first.”
At that point, many a shop had already closed. The city was preparing to welcome the new year in the comfort of its own home. Lu Yan for his part dragged her onto a boat by the Twenty-Four Bridges in Yangzhou.
On New Year’s Eve, the performers, actresses and dancers of the Twenty-Four Bridges were working more than on any other day. Young people in twos and threes came for a night tour on the river. Therefore, Lu Yan had had to reserve his boat quite in advance. He had been planning this tryst of theirs for quite some time, though he would have never admitted it.
The world in front of their eyes was full of light. Wine was flowing, young girls of dubious origin were waving their handkerchiefs, men were laughing and drowning themselves in alcohol. Some people listened to ditties sung in clear voices, remembering their hometowns, others stared up at the bright, white moonlight.
At this moment, a procuress came over to pat Shen Zhen’s shoulder familiarly.
“These two handsome masters, won’t they wish to listen to some song during their trip?”
Behind her, several graceful girls, their eyes glued more on the beautiful little Shen Zhen than on the stunning Lu Yan, were expectantly awaiting their ascent. Mortified, her face stiffening, Shen Zhen immediately grabbed the cuff of Lu Yan’s attire, making him look around.
“No.”
He grabbed onto Shen Zhen’s hand, pulling her onto their boat. The old procuress that was left behind in such an inelegant fashion looked at the girls behind her.
“Did you see how those two just ignored us?!”
The pretty girls all had sad pouts on their lips. That little master had looked so tender and innocent.
The last time, they had taken Zhao Chong’s boat. It had been more spacious and elegant than the one Lu Yan had rented. However, neither Shen Zhen nor Lu Yan had enjoyed that specific evening. Lu Yan was intent on making it up to Shen Zhen. He rolled a curtain covering the window and pointed at plum blossoms scattered on the lake.
Picking up a flask, he poured her a glass of wine.
“It is fruit wine. Have a taste.”
Shen Zhen took the cup from his hand, raising her eyes to him.
“Is this fruit wine intoxicating?”
Her eyes were so clear, so deep. The stars in the sky were reflecting through them, reminding the man in front of her that he was in the presence of the most beautiful woman in their world.
For some reason, Lu Yan recalled the way she had been intoxicated on a boat not long ago. He frowned slightly. No wonder she would be worried.
“It is not intoxicating.”
She took a sip, relishing in the taste.
“Like grape juice.”
The boat slowly drifted into the lake, swaying from side to side. At some point, the amplitude of a sway was such that that it made Shen Zhen exclaim. Her whole person lost balance, ending up between Lu Yan’s arms. Such posture truly made it seem as if she had purposefully thrown herself onto him. Looking down at her with eyes full of desire and yearning, he immediately looped his arm across her waist, pulling her in.
“What am I to understand, Shen Zhen, when you throw your whole person at me at the smallest of sways of a boat?”
She could have grabbed the edge of the window, rather than slide her whole body against him.
That menswear could not conceal her slender waist and she had taken the initiative to give him access to it, therefore he could not help but caress it knowingly, reaching for all the more sensitive parts.
Itching, Shen Zhen groaned against Lu Yan’s throat. Such a sweet sound. Not only made out of embarrassment but also because her acting skills were truly poor.
Looking at such a Shen Zhen, Lu Yan could not but smile in ease. They were facing one another, devouring each other with their eyes —
She feared him. She respected him. And yet, she could not help but admit that when he smiled … there was no man more attractive than Lu Yan.
The candlelight swayed along the boat. He raised his hand to remove the jade crown on her head, observing as the beauty in his arms became a woman once more.
