The bright sun joyfully was mirrored on the rippling waves of the lake. A painfully awakened Lu Yan was seated in the cabin, his elbow resting on his knee and his forehead in his hand. For how long had he been staring at Shen Zhen’s sleeping face? He did not know. What he did know was that there was a strange, tight feeling that had spread throughout his chest and was not abating though she was not crying. The surroundings were silent. The words he had heard in the dream had no choice but to come harass him—
‘It is my fault … I was not sensible …’
‘Your Lordship, today is the seventh of March … It is my mother’s deathday.’
As soon as he had woken up, Lu Yan had scrambled to his feet, walking around the bed so he could observe Shen Zhen, as if fearing that the desperate, hurting girl of his dream had transmigrated into his present reality. A bitter taste, bitterer than any medicine, lingered in his throat. Those who said bystanders had the best perspective on a situation might indeed have been right. When he had looked at himself from an external viewpoint and observed his interactions with Shen Zhen, he had developed too intimate an awareness of her emotions of misery and hopelessness. And even greater an awareness of his own actions in the face of her suffering.
Lu Yan took a deep, shaking breath, pressing against his forehead irritably.
However, by the time Shen Zhen had opened her eyes, Lu Yan had already dressed and restored his usual glorious appearance. Since she had not drank much wine and since the wine in itself had been low on alcohol, she did not experience a headache in the morning. Or a loss of memory. In fact, her mind could not be clearer. To clear for her liking. Without the shelter of the night, without the taste of alcohol lingering on her tongue, without any excuse to explain what had truly spurred her actions of the night, the memories that flooded her became an aggression to her dignity. Shen Zhen clutched the corners of her clothes, crossing them over her naked chest. She could not help but admonish herself.
‘Shen Zhen, Shen Zhen, are you not the daughter of a marquis?! Have you not lived in the Yunyang Mansion?! How could you shame the honor of your name, your self-restraint, the upbringing your parents gave you in such a manner?!”
An individual with a guilty conscience could not help but recall the single most feared person in his or her life. And to Shen Zhen, that would not mean her father or her mother. But … her eldest sister. Her parents would have been disappointed in her. But had Eldest Sister witnessed Shen Zhen’s obscene acts of the night, she would have attacked her with blows and fists. Shen Zhen would have been slapped silly until she could not think straight. Lu Yan looked down at that charming little face, blanching one instant, flushing the other. Frowning her fine brows and sighing so pitifully. How could he not guess what she was thinking about? Reaching out, he warmly patted her buttocks.
“Come on. It is time to get up.”
Shen Zhen could not refrain from groaning at his actions, with her beautiful eyes adamantly avoiding his own gaze. Lu Yan’s hand travelled from her buttocks to her feet, rubbing at Shen Zhen’s white ankle with a smirk at the corner of his lips as if he seemed to be saying:
‘Yesterday, when you single-mindedly raised your legs to have them rest against my shoulders, I didn’t see you so embarrassed …’
Shen Zhen refused to shoot him the slightest glance. He could rub at her as much as he wanted, she was intent on pushing all the blame onto him. This was all the liberty, the freedom she had, being able to blame him. Something she nonetheless rarely did. Lu Yan had no choice but to move again, coming to lay by Shen Zhen’s side once more and pulling her into his arms. However, as she slid against the sheets of the bed, the throbbing pain between her legs intensified, making her hiss in distress.
Frowning, Lu Yan cursed under his breath. He had promised her he would be gentle and of course, he had not kept his word, which, to begin with, made him feel uncomfortable. He could not vouch for his temper, he could be dishonest, he had discovered tendencies to corruption in himself ever since he had met Shen Zhen, but he, at the very least, tried not to lie on the small things and cause physical harm to defenseless women. Caressing her messy hair, he kissed the nape of Shen Zhen’s neck apologetically.
“Are you in pain? Did I hurt you? Let me take a look.”
He better assess the damage so he could take the right dispositions. Sitting up, Lu Yan grabbed onto her knee and tried to pry her legs open with a serious look, hoping the situation wouldn’t be too bad. Shocked by his sudden actions, Shen Zhen swatted his hand away and grabbed onto the tuck that had fallen aside, hurriedly slipping it on in panic. She had moved so quickly that indeed, she did not seem to be seriously harmed.
“Your Lordship, I am fine.”
Seeing as it indeed seemed to be the case, Lu Yan did not force the matter, letting it go diplomatically.
“Sit up straight so I can do your hair for you.”
There was no comb to be found on the boat, however Shen Zhen’s hair was as smooth as silk. It simply slid through Lu Yan’s fingers like water. In barely a few instance, he restored the elegant, respectable topknot of yesterday, giving the beautiful Shen Zhen a bit of an androgynous charm. She did not move, letting the man caress her scalp. Though he obviously had no intentions, she could not help but feel a delicious, enticing numbing sensation travelling from her head down to the tip of her toes, which she curled in shame. It was a continuation of last night. Not noticing Shen Zhen’s primal response to his touch, Lu Yan simply continued to act as if nothing had occurred.
“Are you hungry?”
Shen Zhen turned around, her nose sliding against Lu Yan’s. They were so close that their breaths intermingled. At this instant, the honest and solemn face that met her eyes was the embodiment of integrity and honesty. That is when it dawned on her. The men who looked the most serious and truthful were the least to be trusted. That judgmental look of hers, something between condemnation and morbid fascination, immediately aroused the gentleman’s dissatisfaction.
“What are you thinking of me in that head of yours?!”, Lu Yan hissed.
More often than not, her eyes were more honest than her mouth. Sometimes she let him read her most intimate
Shen Zhen quickly looked aside, whispering contritely:
“Nothing. I am really hungry.”
The boat slowly drew ashore as Lu Yan offered Shen Zhen his hand to help her alight. There were many excellent restaurants throughout the Twenty-Four Bridges, the most famous being the Tower of Autumn Reflections. The meals in that very Tower of Autumn Reflections were not only delicious, exquisite, interesting. They were also obscenely expensive. One ordinary bowl of white porridge would ostentatiously be decorated with seasonal flowers, making it colorful and eye-catching. And all this would make it cost three times the price of a bowl of porridge from a humble stall. Although people called the meals at Tower of Autumn Reflections gaudy and not worth their price, they still crowded its entrance for the pleasure to brag they had eaten at that very restaurant!
Stepping across that famed restaurant’s threshold, Lu Yan led Shen Zhen towards the second floor. He had truly been too demand through the night. Shen Zhen’s steps were slow and she had difficulty climbing the stairs. Looking back, Lu Yan frowned, ran a few steps down and snaked an arm around her waist, supporting her in the hope of alleviating the discomfort he had caused. This feeling of guilt that gnawed at his loins was very new to Lu Yan. And not very agreeable. Shen Zhen flushed in horror, slapping Lu Yan’s hand sternly. She was dressed as a man. Was he not afraid of the criticism he would face for such blatant behavior?! Lu Yan’s arm only tightened around her waist, groping it playfully.
“Let them watch.”
Young Master Wei already had an amorous reputation. He could not get his hands off beautiful women, so the rumor went. Lu Yan was just adding, young, androgynous boys to his list of unwitting victims. After having Shen Zhen seat itself, he listened as the owner energetically shouted from the side, his back bent in shameless servility.
“The second floor greets the distinguished guests.”
This was his privileged time with Shen Zhen, so Lu Yan had rented out the whole second floor beforehand. He could not stand disturbances of any kind and did not particularly appreciate the way the world devoured the pretty lad of his own making with their eyes.
In a short while, twelve dishes of different sizes appeared in front of Shen Zhen’s nose. As the saying went: pure wine costs, for the golden cup, ten thousand coppers a flagon, and a jade plate of dainty food calls for a million coins. Even the sweet and sour carp that had been served on the precious jade plate made one think that, had it not been fished in the morning, it could indeed have jumped over the Dragon Gate.
(Translator’s Note: This is not an actual saying, but the first two lines of “The Hard Road/行路难”, a poem by Li Bai/李白, a Tang poet and the single most celebrated author of China. As for the second part about carps jumping over Dragon Gates, it comes from Chinese legends that say that if a carp were to jump over the Dragon Gate, it would become a dragon. This Dragon Gate would be located at the top of a waterfall that cascades down a legendary mountain. There is a waterfall called the Dragon Gate in Hunan Province.)
Shen Zhen had had no true appetite, lying to Lu Yan to placate him earlier. However, seeing the beauty in front of her, she could not help but salivate in anticipation. Lu Yan observed, chin in hand, as the chopsticks in her white hand frantically moved, never stopping. He couldn’t believe he had ever thought her a fastidious eater. She was rabidly gluttonous. It was a wonder she had such a lean, supple waist.
After a very long while, the chopsticks finally halted. When Shen Zhen saw Lu Yan stop his own leisurely movements, she was too embarrassed to continue eating, though she would not have minded partaking in the untouched brown sugar bread pancakes, the drunken prawns and the sweet potato dumplings.
“I am done eating too”, she snapped resentfully, almost throwing the chopsticks pettishly into the bowl.
When had the restrained, elegant and silent Shen Zhen given way to this earthly lass, driven by passions, abandoned and wanton? Lu Yan smiled. How strange, such behavior that would have irked him in any other woman did not disturb him at this moment. In fact, he enjoyed this facet of hers, a window into her family life. He felt like he could see her childhood games, the way she was scolded by her mother, spoiled by her father.
“You eat more if you so wish. We will be leaving soon.”
Shen Zhen understood his words. He was not referring to leaving the Tower of Autumn Reflections. He was referring to their leaving Yangzhou.
The two of them ran out of the restaurant not long after, looking for a carriage. On their way back to Luyuan, Shen Zhen stretched out her hand and lifted the curtain of the carriage. Yangzhou, colorful and animated, was so beautiful. But she did not belong here. She did not belong anywhere anymore. Lu Yan observed her from the corner of his eye, slowly playing with the jadeite ring on his hand.
“You like it here?”
His voice was extremely soft and caressing. Shen Zhen barely heard his words. After a pause, she simply hummed in agreement.
She did not like it especially. No matter how prosperous Yangzhou, what was it in the face of Chang’an, the capital? What she had truly liked about Yangzhou was that handful of free, restful days she had spent being Concubine Qin, the small concubine of some unimportant merchant. For a few days, she had escaped the life of the drowning, dying Chang’an lady who dragged herself at the feet of a dominant aristocrat for a bowl of plain rice.
Lu Yan stretched his hand out, softly pushing a tendril of black hair behind her ear.
“In another year, I will most probably be promoted to a new position. When the time comes, I will take you to many other places.”
Shen Zhen’s heart froze over. She stopped breathing for the split of a second. She pulled her magnificent porcelain mask over her features once more, too fearful to show any resistance, fright, unwillingness.
“Where will Your Lordship take me?”
He could feel the grain of her skin lingering on the tip of his fingers.
“Who knows? Maybe Jingzhou. Maybe Luoyang.”
Shen Zhen listened silently. The small hand on her knee trembled, her sharp nails biting into her palm. She understood. Who could she not understand?!
He … would not let her go.
His tone was all softness, but there was no choice given. She was left feeling as if she was walking on a thorny road with no end in sight. She had no way to know what awaited her next. How long would she play the mistress to this powerful man? For some reasons, she remembered words Tangyue had once spoken to her.
“The miss might not know, but many a man in the capital has a mistress. Some nobles like novelty and tire easily from the wives and concubines that wait for them at home. So they get themselves agreeable mistresses. After some time, they get quite accustomed to playing around with young women, whether outside or at home, and have no mind of changing their ways. Therefore, they keep their mistresses separated from those at home. Yet, other men are more sensitive and, after a certain time, welcome their mistresses into the house.”
Tangyue had obviously wished to imply that Lu Yan was the latter. How could Tangyue, sweet little maidservant, understand just how involved this affair between Shen Zhen and Lu Yan truly was? How could she know about downfall and grace, family dynamics and Princesses Royal? How could she know about the dignity of fallen girls? She was not one. She was the proper, respectable, albeit small, servant of an almighty gentleman, steps above Shen Zhen. This relationship of theirs transcended the limits of a mere affair. It was something to be hidden in the deepest of night, to be drowned in the deepest of lakes. Was it not better never to mention the future?
The sound of wheels on gravel finally came to a halt, interrupting Shen Zhen’s thoughts. After alighting from the carriage, Lu Yan made his way to his study while Shen Zhen slowly walked towards Chunxi Hall.
After a few steps, Lu Yan turned around, his eyes gloomy and unclear. He had gotten his answer, hadn’t he? Reluctant. Unwilling. Unbending. From beginning to end, what he offered Shen Zhen was silently rejected. Her body she would give, her smiles and her time she would offer, but it all would be but an exchange, one that was not to her advantage, so she thought. But she made do.
The mistresses he had heard about would deliberately become pregnant so they could buy themselves a way into their lover’s residence. Shen Zhen was nothing like them. She would not let him as much as play with a strand of her hair if her contraceptive sachet was not at hand. She feared that there would be something, anything, to tie her to him more firmly than she already was. A child would most probably be a scene right out of her worst nightmares.
Lu Yan resisted the urge to run after her, throw her over his shoulder and take her to the bedroom to teach her that he would not permit for her to leave.
In the study.
Yang Zong respectfully handed over a few account books.
“Young Master, these contain a recording of all the salt transport and sales transactions. As for what the money was used for, here is a list.”
Yang Zong produced a paper from behind himself.
Iron powder, coke, fluorite, fire clay, chamotte bricks, clay extruders, rice hulls.
Someone seemed inclined to start an iron smelting business. One the Emperor should know little about. Leaning on the back of his chair, Lu Yan tapped the evidence with his forefinger. He remembered the words of the Emperor in his dream.
“Truly, everything is repeating itself”, he muttered.
Indeed, this whole Yangzhou affair had as only goal to accumulate wealth so that swords could be forged and a private army armed. But who was behind this venture? The Third or the Sixth Prince? According to the Emperor’s words of Lu Yan’s past life, the evidence and account books had all been burned. Yes. A boat had been mentioned. Lu Yan rubbed at his temple, raising his head in a moment of genius. His cold eyes pinned Yang Zong in place.
“Have the boats for the Spring Festival been prepared?”
Yang Zong nodded energetically.
“As ready as can be.”
“Go prepare the horses. We will not be taking the waterway or the official road after all.”
His dreams were more than simple figments of his imagination. They were a window to a possible future. One Lu Yan had to avoid, if only in the name of duty. Yang Zong was getting nervous and doubtful.
“Has Young Master uncovered new clues?”
Leaving Yangzhou by avoiding waterways and official roads would be difficult. They would have to make a very big detour.
Lu Yan shook his head.
“No. Just an idea I had. By the way, what happened to the people we send to the Central Judicial Office?”
“Nie Yuan confessed to everything besides his relationship with Governor Zhao. He spoke of insignificant things. Pang Shu, for his part, refused to speak. Lord Zhou had no other choice but to give him some drugs which, in turn, made him reveal the exact location of the account books”, Yang Zong whispered into Lu Yan’s ear.
“According to Pang Shu, they would be in the County Office.”
The County Office? It was not in the Governor’s Mansion, after all. They would have no choice but to split. Lu Yan would go to the Governor’s Mansion to distract Governor Zhao, while his men would search the County Office. After a long silence, Lu Yan sighed.
“Send seven of eight of your guards to the County Office. We will act simultaneously on the Spring Festival.”
“Yes.”
Lu Yan walked out of the study, lantern in hand. His steps led him to Chunxi Hall’s doorstep. He did not walk in, standing there stupidly. Expecting … Truth be said, he himself did not know what he was expecting.
Shen Zhen, for her part, had waited for him to return long enough. Seeing as the night was dark and deep, she simply concluded that if he had not come back until then, he would not come at all. Therefore, she let her clothes slide from her shoulder, remaining in nothing but a shift. She would go to bed alone and be the better for it, too. That man could not be trusted at night.
As soon as she made the decision, Lu Yan saw the lights in her room being blown out and the window dimmed until Shen Zhen’s silhouette was swollen by darkness. Seeing her attractive shadow disappearing into the darkness, Lu Yan could not help but think of his mother. There was nothing Princess Royal Jing’an loved more than sleeping. She would regularly spoil herself with long mornings and at times, whole days in bed. Yet, one thing she would never do was forget to wait for Lu Yan’s father to return at night. No matter how late, she would sit by the window, her eyes always trying to make out whether a fleeting shadow was the Grand Duke finally coming back to her.
Lu Yan for his part had never experienced such a scene. And even if he had, it would have been achieved through intimidation and coercion. It would not be willing. Shen Zhen would never willingly wait for him to come back at night. Just because she missed him. Just because she yearned for his presence by her side.
A low chuckle escaped him. Yet again laughing at himself, wasn’t he? He was thinking too much. And he was thinking wrong.
