Shen Zhen stood there, dumbfounded and immobile, the pungent waft of medicine entering her nose. Lying down as he was, Lu Yan could obviously not easily drink the concoction without choking on it. The only way she could think of was feeding him mouth to mouth. This being said, Lu Yan had an obsession with everything clean. The idea if drinking medicine mingled with her saliva must be absolutely unacceptable to him. How could he not understand the hesitation in Shen Zhen?! But as he was ill and had lost so much blood, he had no strength to grant her some pearls of his sarcasm. With his temper however, he would have ridiculed her thoroughly.
‘You aren’t this shy when you moan and whimper at my kisses.’
Shen Zhen continued to ponder the problem while Lu Yan’s face became paler and paler. He coughed in pain through his dry lips, making the wound on his back bleed some more. After the tremors of the cough had subsided, the white muslin wrapped around his chest and back dyed itself in an ominous crimson hue. How could Shen Zhen care about anything at such a moment?! She knelt by Lu Yan’s bed, took a sip of bitter medicine and latched her lips onto his.
Still cool and soft, Lu Yan thought. Just like a freshly peeled lychee. Lu Yan stiffened at once. Who would have thought that this woman could even make bitter medicine taste sweet?! Seeing as he was not resisting, Shen Zhen diligently fed him mouthful after mouthful. As the bowl finally bottomed out, the man suddenly raised a painful hand, pressing the nape of Shen Zhen’s neck down, refusing to let go. From gentle sucking to a demanding invasion, he greedily pried her teeth apart and had his tongue slither in, like the tyrannical intruder that he was.
Tangyue who was standing in a corner was completely stunned by their Young Master’s aggressiveness. He had been badly wounded, yet he paid it no heed, insistently demanding his due. On any other day, none of them slaves would remain blind to the Young Master’s eagerness, silently leaving the timid Miss Shen to deal with it as she knew. They read the atmosphere well and retreated before the Young Master even had the time to get his hands around Shen Zhen’s waist. However, on that day, the attack had been unexpected and Tangyue had had no choice but to witness something she had never seen before. In fact, she had never expected the Young Master to be so enthusiastic towards Miss Shen.
Ever since he was a young boy, he had been obsessed with cleanliness. He would demand three baths a day, making the servants rush in and out for water all day long. But who would have thought that this love of everything hygienic would be thrown through the window when facing the temptation of such a grand beauty as Miss Shen. Tangyue dared not speak out, dared not open the door and leave the scene. She could only hide in the darkest of corners, hoping her two masters would completely forget her existence …
Shen Zhen was so afraid that his wound would bleed some more that she softly tapped his shoulder in a begging motion. He had to stop taking advantage of her in such a manner. As soon as Lu Yan removed his hand from the nape of her neck, she jumped to her feet and took a few steps back. Uncompromising and brazen as he was, Lu Yan did not even pretend nothing had just happened. Rather, he stared at her with hooded eyes, going back to his imperative self.
“This medicine is too bitter. Get me some water.”
Though it was an order, there was some unexpected pleading in Lu Yan’s tone. Such a despotic master was reduced to beg for water. However, Shen Zhen was even more scared by a pleading Lu Yan than she was by a tyrannical one. She knew that this state of helplessness would last but an instant. Soon enough, he would be back to his feet. If she did not serve him well during the duration of his wound, he would be sure to retaliate when he was back in power. Therefore, she turned around, grabbed onto a cup and looked for the water pitcher.
As time had passed, the red candles had become smaller and smaller, threatening to burn out soon. A gust of wind blew through the gaps in the window, making the flames flicker violently. Lu Yan watched the beauty in the wedding gown busying herself. The soft sway of her hips moved along the wind, her pretty face turned from one side to the other. Such a beautiful bride. But what a pity that the bridegroom was prostrate in bed and could not worship her at night.
Finally succeeding in uncovering the pitcher, Shen Zhen walked back, squatted by the bed with the cup in her hand and resorted to threats with Lu Yan.
“I will be feeding you, but you are not allowed to move would it be an inch!”
Lu Yan looked at her trying to muster a preachy attitude. Her voice was so sweet and her posture so weak. Who did she think she could control with such a meek threat?! Shen Zhen ignored the sneer at the corner of his mouth, clenching her fist and shooting him a stern look.
“Maybe I should not feed you after all!”
The sneer morphed into something more alike a mocking grin and Lu Yan tried to act as a most humble, obedient patient. But in his mind he could not help but think:
‘Who would have ever thought she had such an irritable temper, switching from ‘Your Lordship’ to ‘you’ in an instant.’
As her breath fawned over his eyelashes, Lu Yan drowsily closed his eyes, awaiting. He could not look at her sharp eyes. At her pure. He could not look at them without feeling all-consuming lust. And something else, something else he did not know what regret.
The night was long. But Shen Zhen tirelessly kept giving the man medicine and water, soaking a towel in warm water to wipe all the dried blood that remained on his body. Was she too gentle, or was he too tired, but after a while, he closed his eyes, sleeping into something very alike a coma.
Shen Zhen let the blood-stained towel slip into the basin, covering Lu Yan’s body in a warm quilt. Sitting on the edge of the couch, she looked down at him, inoffensive and dependent on her good will for the first time since they had met. His breathing was getting more even. This figure in the bed was so different from the man with whom she had shared many a night.
Seeing him in pain and suffering, Shen Zhen would have lied if she had said she did not feel gut-wrenching distress. Remembering something, her throat closed up and a taste of metal lingered on her tongue.
She was not the only one whose skin had been pressed against his. She was not the only one who had shared days and nights with him. She was not the only one … Just that there was a difference between her and the other one. Shen Zhen had sold her body for a roof, some clothes and food. She had been rewarded with his sarcasms and his mockery. The other one, however, had been forcefully sent to his bed and had been rewarded with his jeopardizing his life to save hers.
Such thoughts flashing in her mind, she felt like her hard was being crushed. She grabbed onto her wedding dress with trembling fingers, the pink knuckles turning white. She felt guilty. She felt so guilty. She had the impression countless pairs of eyes were watching her at all times. Her grandmother’s. Her father’s. Her mother’s. Her elder sister’s. Everyone was looking at her with shocked and angry eyes, cold like knives, filled with tears of blood …
But how could she not … How could she not feel something so akin to love, a girl’s first love, towards a man who had become the center of her universe by force?! And the fact his treatment of her became better and better only made matters worse for her. He was playing, finding this new role of a tender lover ever so amusing. She, however, was suffering. Suffering like her heart had been marked with a fiery brand. She had been so afraid that in an excess of rage, he would kill her when she had just become his mistress. She had only known his icy voice, sending shivers of fear down her spine. She had in fact considered whether not to end her own life than to face his ongoing indifference, more cruel than hatred itself.
However …
His supreme kindness of sending Shen Hong to someone as steady and reliable as Master Chu had been such a great kindness she had felt her obligation to repay.
Gradually, the moonlight was replaced by the floating light of dawn. The red candles had long burned out and the red light in the room had dissipated into mist. Shen Zhen raised her eyes and stared at the painted curtains that fluttered softly over the window. Her expression gradually returned to its usual placidity. Some things ‘Qin Lao’ could think of that a daughter of the Shen Household should never consider.
At sunrise, the blinding daylight spilled through the window, mercilessly hitting Lu Yan’s eyes, shaking him cruelly out of his dream. He was covered in cold sweat.
Yet another one of those dreams to torture him. Obviously, this dream was nothing but the continuation of the last one. The Emperor had wanted to organize the best medical treatment for the Crown Prince, so he had sent Lu Yan to uncover Bai Daonian’s whereabouts. However, Lu Yan had arrived a step too late. In his dream, when he had arrived to Yangzhou, Bai Daonian had already returned to the Western Regions. He had not given up, however, chasing the genius doctor for over two months. By the time he had reached him, the death knell had already sounded for the Crown Prince and Lu Yan had returned to a mourning Chang’an, clad in the purest of whites …
Lu Yan endured the severe pain in his back, trying to sit up. An exhausted Shen Zhen rushed forth, trying to pacify him.
“Your Lordship should not move.”
Frowning, he mumbled under his breath.
“Where is Bao Daonian?”
“Doctor Bai has been waiting for you to wake up so he can change the dressing.”
“Let him in, I will see him now”, Lu Yan simply replied.
“You must lie down first and I will call Doctor Bai”, Shen Zhen bartered with him, coaxing him like a sick child.
On the way, although Shen Zhen’s bone injury had long been cured, she had sprained her ankle. So, in her hurry, she could not but limp forth. Looking at her back, Lu Yan could not refrain from saying:
“You slow down. Don’t be so anxious for nothing.”
Shen Zhen knew that Lu Yan’s demanding Bai Daonian as soon as he opened his eyes was not a trivial matter. So rather than walking right back in with the doctor, she stayed on the other side of the door, waiting for the two men to finish whatever business they had together. As Bao Daonian walked into the chamber, he ceremoniously bowed to Lu Yan.
“This humble one cannot repay Your Lordship’s life-saving grace.”
He paused an instant before continuing.
“If ever Yourd Lordship needs this humble one’s measly help in the future, this humble one will do everything in his capacity to live up to Your Lordship.”
Lu Yan disliked to walk around the bush, therefore he treated Bai Daonian as a subordinate of his and clearly stated his needs. That dream of yesterday was a critical juncture between his past life and his present life. Lu Yan could afford to make a mistake at this point in time. The Crown Prince’s death in the past life must have been the beginning of the downfall for Lu Yan in his past life, he could not be any clearer about it. The struggle between the Third and Sixth Princes must have reached its apex at that instant. Not only that! Those in the Crown Prince’s faction who held true power must have aligned against the powers to be, going against the current stubbornly. Men like Sun Mu, the Minister of War, and the jailed Marquis Yunyang were too rigid to learn to dance to new tunes and held their ridiculous ideals above everything else, like their own families.
Thinking of this, Lu Yan slowly enunciated every word he spoke.
“I would indeed need Doctor Bai’s help with something.”
As soon as he heard his benefactor would need something, Bai Daonian became immediately discreet and cautious, ready to receive his orders.
“Your Lordship, please speak.”
“I want you to come back to Chang’an with me.”
Bai Daonian frowned.
“Does Your Lordship need this humble one to go to the Central Judicial Office to witness again Governor Zhao and his acolytes?”
Lu Yan shook his head. He had enough evidence to have Zhao Chong condemned.
“My brother is seriously ill with a persistent cough and needs treatment.”
As soon as Bao Daonian heard as much, he hurriedly replied:
“This humble one’s duty is to put his medical skills at the disposition of the ailing of this world. This humble is most willing to follow Your Lordship back to the capital.”
After that, Bai Daonian looked on sheepishly.
“Truth be said, had Your Lordship not mentioned it, this humble one would have made his way to the capital nonetheless.”
Honest to a fault. Lu Yan lifted an eyebrow.
“Why?”
“Lord Lu has suffered such a serious injury to save this humble one’s sister. How could this humble one go against his moral duty and let Your Lordship return without care?”
Hearing this, Lu Yan almost rolled his eyes. Good Doctor Bai can be assured that Lu Yan had not saved Fu Man out of goodness of heart. Lu Yan could simply not win, could he? In his past life, he had no injury, but he had taken the waterway and lost all of his evidence. In this life, he had protected his evidence, but had had a sword slash his back for him. Bai Daonian stepped forward to busy himself with Lu Yan’s injury. Letting Doctor Bai poke him at will, Lu Yan finally mustered the courage to ask a question that had been torturing him.
“Doctor Bai, I have this friend who has a heart disease …”
“What kind of heart disease?”
“His heart hurts when his wife cries.”
Bai Daonian could not help laughing joyfully.
“This humble one believes that Your Lordship’s friend is not in any danger”, he jokingly replied.
Lu Yan rolled his eyes. Of course, no one could understand what h meant. Sternly, he explained further. It hurt. It hurt so much that one feared to lose consciousness. It was the type of pain that made everything in front of one’s eyes go blank. And this, as soon as she cried. Bai Daonian did not laugh anymore. Thinking it through, he measured his words.
“This heart disease Your Lordship is speaking of is unknown to this humble one. In all of the years this humble one has been practicing medicine, he has never heard or come across to a similar case.”
Lu Yan’s mouth twitched. Of course it would incurable! Of course …
Since Lu Yan had not been out of danger, they could not leave the city for two years. However, they could not afford to stay any longer and prepared to leave on the third day.
Before stepping into the carriage, Fu Man turned around and shot Shen Zhen a friendly glance.
“Is the Miss’s ankle feeling better?”
She had found out early on that Shen Zhen was not a concubine. However, she was unsure of what her relationship with Lord Lu was. Therefore, she took up the servants’ and Sergeant Yang’s habit of calling Shen Zhen ‘miss’. Shen Zhen did not pick up this change in the way Fu Man addressed her. She could simply talk back, though she would have preferred not too.
“Thanks to Concubine Man’s medicine, my ankle is not swollen anymore.”
Lu Yan heard the ‘Concubine Man’, frowning his eyebrows. This was a perfect example of his being self-defeating. He had such bad luck he feared this ‘Concubine Man’ would try to shove herself into his house through the back door. Feeling the general embarrassment at Shen Zhen’s words, he snapped at her coldly.
“You go up first.”
A caravan of carriages left the city, passing through the streets and slowly towards the city gates. Lu Yan, mollified, coughed awkwardly.
“Fu Man is not her real name. She is Doctor Bai’s sister”, he solemnly started.
Shen Zhen’s eyes widened.
“Her last name is Bai?”
“Yes. They are from the Western Regions and Zhao Chong caught and imprisoned them.”
People like Lu Yan were the sort that acted most pompous and pretentious when feeling most guilty. With a serious face, he admonished Shen Zhen conceitedly.
“Miss Bai acted as a concubine as part of the plan to catch Zhao Chong. Now that we are out of Yangzhou, you should be careful how you address her, lest you damager her boudoir reputation.”
As soon as these words reached Shen Zhen’s ears, she paled dangerously, her eyes widening and blindly fixing a point in front of her. Lu Yan, who had suspiciously been glancing at her from the corner of his eye, had not expected such a peculiar reaction. He knew her temper to be pliable. Even if she were unhappy, she generally did not show it, swallowing her grievances and reigning in her temper. So, he was certainly not prepared to see her bowing her head so pitifully, speechless and obviously deeply wounded for a reason Lu Yan did not understand. He could but clench his fist, knowing full well he was at fault again. Not knowing what to say or do to rectify the situation, he gently took her hand. Such, white, soft hands. Her skin was pure silk, making him rub the back of her hand in circles with his thumb. Slowly, he bought her fine fingers to his lips, pecking them carefully.
“Tell me, what is wrong?”
The carriage passed through a grand gate and started its trip back to Chang’an.
