During these months, the disposition on the fronts changed. Agreements were reached on mutually beneficial cooperation between the Japanese and Russian troops.
In general, Kai was indifferent to all this until he was summoned to headquarters, where the colonel began to talk in detail about the upcoming assignment.
Its essence was that when signing a cooperation agreement, one of the conditions from the Japanese side was to provide them with the opportunity to inspect sections of the Russian front.
A secret report came from the headquarters that Kai was charged with a mission to travel through pre-agreed areas with a Japanese representative and provide him with the opportunity to inspect them.
Kai understood that this was a stupid idea and a waste of time, but the high command, which was sitting far and too high, always came up with some tasks to be necessarily performed.
Traveling to different parts of their front would take a week, if not more. Their firing positions were spread over a fairly large territory. It was also not easy to get there everywhere.
But on the whole, Kai liked the idea. Finally, there was an opportunity to leave the garrison, or else he had been here already for a month. And of course, the opportunity presented itself to visit other sectors of the front, where he had many acquaintances and friends.
“Maybe there will be no time to think about anything,” Kai thought to himself.
Therefore, he accepted this task with enthusiasm. He clarified when to go. Pyotr Ivanovich said that a Japanese delegation would arrive here tomorrow at noon and bring a representative who would go with Kai.
Then they were discussing in detail the route of their movement for several hours. The colonel said that everyone would be aware of their arrival. They would be given an appropriate welcome and the Japanese representative would only be shown what he needed to see. Kai was entrusted with the mission of a driver and an accompanying person in one person since he knew the whole area and many of its features and, most importantly, knew what to say and what not to. This also suited Kai.
Leaving the colonel in a positive mood, he spent the rest of the evening at Sebastian’s, where one of the guys had a birthday. The tables were full of food and drinks. Kai talked a lot, told stories, and laughed. This mood made Sebastian very happy – he was increasingly accustomed to seeing Kai sad and silent.
***
The next day, Kai was ready to go. He threw the bag with the necessary things into the trunk and packed the maximum amount of weapons. He dressed in a dark military jacket with trousers tucked into high army boots. The jacket did not have special insignia and his belonging to any army. On such a trip, it was better not to wear something that would immediately become a target – it was better not to glow.
His jeep had been washed – the colonel had asked for it – to make the car look the part. Although Kai did not understand why, after a kilometer of the dusty road it would become even dustier than it was before. And daddy also asked to put things in order inside the car, knowing about Kai’s tendency to complete disorder. This was what Kai couldn’t even do for him. He remembered how, after cleaning the car, when he was in the hospital, everything was perfect and unusually clean and comfortable. But he could not maintain such an order for a long time, and everything returned to its previous state – a complete mess.
At the headquarters in the colonel’s office, everyone had already gathered, just waiting for the arrival of the Japanese delegation. Kai, having received the final valuable guidance from Pyotr Ivanovich, sat at the table with a bored look, also waiting for their arrival.
Finally, five Japanese military men entered the office and bowed politely.
Among them there was Toyami!
Everything went cold inside Kai, but he didn’t even show it. Just like Toyami, who also saw him, but indifferently slid his eyes over him and began to look in the other direction.
Kai realized that his behavior there, in the hospital room, was not very correct. And to put it mildly, just rude, because he called Kodji and Toyami f** *** ts, although he expressed it gently. And now he had to look again this man in the face.
Kai was sitting, biting his lips, not even noticing it, and nervously twirling the pen in his hand.
Toyami glanced over at him once more.
“Well, boy, is the conscience torturing you? You were rude to the adults and thought we would never meet again, but no – we did. Bite your lips now.” Toyami smiled to himself, looking at Kai.
They spoke English. First came the long official part of the greeting and introduction of everyone from the Japanese delegation, then from their side. Then there was an exchange of pleasantries. Then they turned to the issue of inspection of their front by a Japanese representative.
Then the colonel said that from their side Kai was going to this inspection. The representative of the Japanese side said that they had appointed Mr. Toyami Takeru as their representative.
Kai realized he had got in a tight! This was a mockery of fate, he could make no remark!
“Why is Toyami going out of all the Japanese? Or did he set it up on purpose? No, he couldn’t do it.”
Nobody knew about Kai’s appointment for this mission.
“And with this pervert, I have to be for so long! That’s enough that I behave like a girl! If he approaches with nonsense, he will immediately rake in full, despite the fact that he is a representative of the friendly side,” Kai decided to himself, trying to calm down.
Kai tried to give his face an indifferent expression. He glanced at Toyami, who was just as indifferently looking in the other direction.
Finally, the meeting came to an end, everyone went out into the street.
They brought Toyami’s bag, Kai opened the trunk of the jeep to put it there, also keeping a mask of indifference on his face.
Then they said goodbye to them for a long time, and finally, they went to the car.
Opening the car door on the right, Toyami saw a mess in Kai’s car.
“Now it’s not as bad as the first time,” Toyami said, looking at the things scattered in the car interior.
Kai silently sat down in the driver’s seat and, grabbing everything that lay on the seat next to it, just threw it back. Toyami chuckled at this solution.
When the car passed the garrison gates, Kai turned on the internal equipment, all the sensors and, making sure that everything was normal, began to pick up speed.
“Fasten your belt,” Kai muttered and pressed the music switch.
A wave of music hit from all the speakers. The sound was loud, another rhythmic pop track was playing. Kai set the route on the navigator and added speed.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Toyami had fastened his seat belt all the same.
After half an hour of listening to another musical hit, Toyami muted the sound.
Kai shot him an angry look.
“Don’t you like this kind of music?”
“I don’t like it when it’s so loud,” Toyami answered indifferently looking out the window.
After that, no one continued the conversation. Kai didn’t want to start first, and what to talk about? He was just doing his job. Therefore, concentrating on the road, he tried not to think about who was next to him.
“I didn’t know that you would be in the inspection out of the Russians,” Toyami said thoughtfully, lighting another cigarette and blowing out smoke through the half-open window, “you don’t have to worry, I never mix work with personal.”
“Why should I worry? And what can we talk about personally? There is nothing between us!”
“Then you should behave differently. I’m not your friend here. I have a task and you too, we do the job.”
Kai realized that he had no answer to Toyami’s reasonable arguments. He drove him to a dead end.
He was right. Kai has no right to behave like that. He was at work.
Kai turned off the music.
“Sorry, Mr. Takeru, for the loud music. If you have questions about the first place of your inspection, you can ask them.”
Toyami glanced at him quickly. Kai’s face was serious, he was not joking as he said all this.
“It is possible not so officially – we still work together, and the music can be left, just not so loudly,” Toyami stretched out his hand and turned on the music, turning down the volume to a pleasant quiet sound, “so, since we have found out everything among ourselves, let’s proceed to work. The first point of my inspection is the garrison in the Elbras Valley. I’m interested in…”
Then he began to ask Kai in detail about the date of the organization of the garrison there, the number of military personnel, the main operations in which military divisions from this garrison participated, and much more.
Kai realized that Toyami decided to have a full blast on it! He was in a deuced mess! And he couldn’t tell to go to hell, but he wanted so much!
Over the course of several hours, Kai answered Toyami’s new questions.
***
In the route of their movement, a stop for rest was stipulated. They were now passing through an area that was fairly safe from hostilities. There was a small town with a decent establishment where they could have a snack and rest.
Kai stayed with him.
“The first rest stop is planned here,” he briefly explained.
“OK, let’s go.”
Toyami didn’t miss the way Kai wearily leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. Apparently, his inquiries achieved their result – he exhausted him well.
Kai pulled himself together and followed Toyami to the local diner.
Inside, everything was in the national style, but quite decent and civil.
While Kai was in the toilet pouring cold water on his face to bounce back, Toyami ordered everything for the two of them.
Seeing so much food, Kai said wearily:
“You don’t know yet, I don’t eat so much.”
“You will eat! You have to take me to the garrisons, I don’t want you to faint from hunger.”
Kai again had nothing to say. He began to eat in silence, not looking up from the plate.
Toyami ate with gusto, he was amused by the situation and how he simply drove Kai into a dead end.
“You shouldn’t have decided to compete with me,” Toyami thought, “I’m more experienced and prudent than you.”
Kai was driven by emotion. He, unlike Kai, perfectly managed his own. He understood Kai, understood what he experienced when he learned that they would travel together.
“Thought not to see me again in your life?” Toyami smiled slyly. But fate decided differently. You will ask me for mercy! I will teach you to be flexible.”
Toyami understood that with such a shield of self-confidence and arrogance that Kai had built around him, he had no chance of breaking through to him. This meant that Kai himself must meet halfway.
“Let us begin by cunning to destroy this wall.”
Having finished lunch, they drove on. According to the movement schedule, they were supposed to arrive at the garrison by eight in the evening. But there were several unforeseen circumstances: a partially bombed road, where we had to slow down and literally crawl, a couple of detours, and a mined area. As a result, they arrived at the garrison by one in the morning.
It’s good that they were expected.
For accommodation, they were allocated separate rooms in the building of the officers’ hostel. Kai was overjoyed at this. He wanted only one thing: to walk to bed and fall to sleep. It’s good that at least the rest of the road Toyami stopped pestering him with questions, but the tension from dangerous sections and bypass roads made itself felt. After creeping to the bed, he fell asleep.
The next morning he was not allowed to sleep. They sent for him, saying that Mr. Takeru was demanding his presence at the inspection of the garrison.
Quickly dressed and cursing Toyami in his heart, he trudged to the headquarters, where he was expected.
The inspection began.
Why Toyami needed him, it was clear – to bully him! The garrison major took over the entire informative part, Kai just walked alongside, realizing that everyone could do without him.
They walked along military units, barracks, inspected the placement of military personnel, equipment, buildings. Then they went to the positions of the fortifications. they walked through the trenches and firing points. Then there was lunch, then everything continued again.
But that’s not all!
Then his presence was obligatory at the gala dinner dedicated to the arrival of a representative of the friendly side.
By midnight, Kai, again completely exhausted by all this, barely dragged himself to bed and fell asleep, not forgetting to set the alarm for six in the morning – this was the agreed time of their departure.
He fell asleep with one single thought in his head:
“Toyami, I hate you!”
***
At six in the morning, they rode out towards the next garrison. Everything was repeated in exactly the same way as the first time.
On the way, Toyami again began to ask Kai about the garrison near the Tonar River. This torture continued until lunchtime.
For lunch, they stopped by their people at the roadblock. A field camp was set up there. They were waited for and fed.
Then they continued on their way.
Sometimes it seemed to Kai that Toyami was waiting for Kai to ask him to stop these pointless inquiries.
“Or did just it seem?”
He occasionally glanced at him, Kai felt it. For some reason, it seemed to him that Toyami was still waiting for him to ask for mercy.
“You will not get it!”
Kai decided not to give up. Although it was hard. The tension of the road and the constant questioning of Toyami was exhausting. But he would never ask him for mercy.
Toyami saw that it was hard for Kai, he clearly achieved his result. These endless questions were exhausting him.
“Silly boy! You should just ask me – and I will stop torturing you!”
They arrived at the garrison near the Tonar River again late at night, again because of the same features of military roads.
And in the morning everything started according to the same scenario as in the previous garrison.
Kai got through everything: walking around the garrison, combat positions, lunch, then dinner. He also fell asleep, having set the alarm at six. A single thought drilled through his brain again.
“Toyami, I hate you!”
***
The fifth day.
All the same. Now the questions were about their new place where they were going – about the fortification on the mountain pass El-Rashad.
By noon, Toyami asked to stop. Kai didn’t like the area. But what could he do if Toyami needed to go out?
He stopped the car at the side of the road, there were boulders and small embankments on both sides – it was a foothill, in front there were mountains.
Kai went the other way from Toyami. He always tried to stay away from him at such stops.
He returned to the car first. He lit a cigarette. From behind, Toyami’s footsteps and a characteristic click were heard – this triggered a device on a mine.
“Freeze, mine!” Kai shouted, turning around.
Toyami himself heard the click and immediately stopped.
“Have you tried to look under your feet?” said Kai angrily, opening the trunk.
“What are you doing?”
“You have already frazzled me out with your questions. Stand now and be silent!”
Kai rummaged in the trunk and, taking out a screwdriver, slowly began to approach Toyami.
“What do you want to do?”
“To save you. Are you against?”
Toyami watched Kai approaching him.
“Stop, don’t come, I don’t want you to die either,” Toyami understood that he was doomed, if he relaxed the pressure a little, there would be an explosion.
“Shut up and stay quiet.”
At that moment, Kai did not realize that it was then that he made his choice at the crossroads of fate. He took a step that forever changed him, his life, his destiny. The step that changed the world around him and him in this world. In this life, it happens when we do not even realize that it is at this moment that fate gives us a choice and we make a decision, for which we then pay for our whole life. No one ever knows whether that decision was right or not. But the choice was made. The line was passed, and the clock began to count down a different time for those who themselves signed an agreement with fate.
Kai neatly approached Toyami, sat down on the ground at his feet, and began to very slowly rake small stones with sand with his hands. Toyami was watching from above. Now their lives were united into one, and this was already forever.
Kai was in no hurry, he pushed all the interfering sand and stones away from the mine, and then began to unscrew something in it. Then he again began to dig out the side of the mine with his hands.
Toyami saw that his hands were already covered with blood, his fingers were scratched with small sharp stones and bloody grooves appeared on them. Kai didn’t even pay attention to it.
After a while, he simply told Toyami that he could move away.
Toyami did not ask anything, he believed him. He stepped back.
“Get away from me,” Kai said quietly, concentrating on something in the mine, which he continued to hold with his hands.
Toyami walked slowly over and sat down next to him. Kai looked up.
“I’ll be with you,” Toyami said simply, looking into Kai’s eyes.
Five minutes later, Kai unscrewed the mine and took out the charger, which he carefully carried and laid on the stone. He didn’t want to blow it up. They didn’t need extra noise.
“Thanks.”
“For what?” Kai asked almost indifferently.
“You’ve saved my life.”
“Everyone would do that.”
“No. Not everyone.”
“Let’s go, we’ve been here too long,” dusting himself off, Kai went to the car.
There was a bottle of water in the trunk, he opened it to pour it onto his hands.
“Come on, I’ll help,” Toyami took the bottle of water from him and poured it into his hands. Then he took out a first aid kit, “It’s necessary to debride wounds.”
Kai wanted to object but thought that bleeding fingers would interfere with the driving and held out his hands to Toyami.
He washed them with an antiseptic and wrapped each cut finger with a plaster. It turned out very funny.
“Let me drive the car,” Toyami suggested seeing Kai’s rewound fingers.
“No. This is my job.”
“What a stubborn one!” but did not argue with him. He just sat down, but no longer pestered him with questions.
Kai appreciated that. This was the best thanks from Toyami.
According to the plan, they were supposed to arrive at the fortification of El-Rashad at night, but again the road made its own adjustments.
They lost a lot of time by delousing the mine. Then Toyami made him stop for lunch at a local roadside establishment, and then the fog descended on the evening mountains. And they crawled through it, as a result, they lost their way. At that moment, the satellite did not work, something went wrong, and when the connection appeared, they realized that they had taken the wrong road, and now it was foolish to return. The safest way was to spend the night here.
Finding a branch off the road, Kai drove along it, and behind the bushes and stones, the headlights illuminated a small niche in the mountain in the form of a cave. Here they decided to stay for the night.
The fire could not be lit, it would lead to unpredictable consequences. They didn’t need the night guests who could come to the fire.
At first, they decided to sleep in the car but then changed their minds. Even with soft seats, this is uncomfortable – the body becomes numb so that the next day you feel stiff. Kai knew that from himself.
The bottom of the cave was covered with fine sand. It was warmed up on a hot day and now gave off warmth pleasantly. Toyami brought two army blankets and two jackets from the trunk to put under the heads.
It was a bright moonlit night. The fog cleared away. The moon lit up the sleeping mountains. This sight was mesmerizing. Kai stood and looked at this eternal beauty.
He felt that he was starting to freeze. It was cold in the mountains at night. He returned to the cave and took a blanket, wrapped it in it, realizing that it should have been done earlier. Now it would be hard for him to keep warm. He did not like the cold, or rather, he endured it very badly. He was always cold – even when others were warm, he felt that he was freezing. His fingers were the first to feel cold, and there was always a problem with his hands. Although, when it was cold, he always put on gloves.
“Maybe it’s worth wearing now?” flashed a sensible thought when he felt that his fingers were barely moving.
Toyami took it differently, all this time he was watching him out of the corner of his eye.
“I will bandage your fingers again.”
“No need, they will heal themselves.”
“No, you need to,” Toyami brought a first-aid kit and pointed to the log in front of the cave entrance, here it was almost as bright as day, the moon was so bright in the cloudless sky.
Kai wanted to start arguing but felt the fatigue and tension make themselves felt.
“Let him do it, he’ll leave me as soon as possible,” he now wanted to lie down, wrap himself in a blanket, and try to sleep.
Kai held out his hand. Toyami took it and looked up at Kai.
“Are you cold? You have icy fingers and a hand.” Now Toyami was holding his hand in his, gently rubbing it with his warm hands.
“I can’t stand the cold,” with such a reasonable answer Kai wanted to end these inquiries, “you wanted to bandage the fingers,” Kai tried to remove his hand from Toyami’s hands, but he did not let it go.
“Yes, now,” he finally proceeded to peel off the adhesive plaster from his fingers, “you’re a Russian, it’s always cold here. Are you freezing, although now it’s just cool?”
“You have a strange idea of Russia, it’s not always cold there,” Kai paused.
Toyami saw tension run across his face as he was uttering the word Russia, apparently, for him, it was a painful memory.
Kai continued in a slightly sad voice:
“It is cold in winter. In winter it was hard for me there … but that was a long time ago.”
He fell silent, remembering winter, frost, snow crunching underfoot, Prokhor, who always made fun of him because of his “chilliness”, as he called it.
How once Prokhor took away his mittens, saying that he was a man and should not be afraid of frost, and then when they came to their basement and Prokhor saw that Kai’s fingers did not move, he was frightened. He poured the whole bottle of vodka on him, rubbing his hands. Then the guys grumbled for a long time that they had transferred such a good thing to nothing. How long ago, in another life in another world …
Toyami saw that Kai remembered something, he did not prevent him from immersing himself in these memories, he just watched his face, continuing to bandage his fingers.
When it was over, Kai grunted “thank you” and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. It grew even colder; he began to shake from the cold penetrating under his clothes.
Toyami saw it. He put the first aid kit aside, took his blanket and wrapped it around Kai, then, sitting next to him on a log, hugged him.
“What are you doing, let me go!” Kai tried to escape, but two blankets hampered his movements.
“I keep you warm. Stop twitching! I don’t want you to get sick. I need a healthy driver,” saying this, Toyami easily held back Kai’s movements in the blankets.
Again Toyami used a forbidden trick and puzzled Kai. Kai was quiet.
“Okay. Then I’ll warm up a little, thank him for his concern and go to bed.”
After deciding so, Kai petrified.
Toyami felt the end of resistance and, intercepting his hands, pulled Kai closer to him.
Kai felt warm. Today was a hard day. What happened to Toyami scared him very much. Well, he hadn’t been so scared for someone for a long time. He was even afraid to admit it to himself.
When he saw Toyami standing on a mine, everything inside him snapped. After all, he knew that the slightest mistake – and there would be an explosion. And when he went to neutralize it, he was not sure of anything. It’s all a matter of chance: you can save a person, or you can undermine yourself, but then he didn’t think about himself. He wanted to save him. Then there was no time to think or worry.
Even then, in the car, he did not think about what had happened. They had to go. Now all the tension of that moment came over him. He felt the weakness from the experienced nervous tension and the warmth that enveloped him, as well as the hands that held him, and in these embraces, it was so unusually good.
Toyami felt that Kai fell asleep. Like a wayward child who at first resisted, but as soon as he was hugged like this – and that’s it, the defense collapsed, he stopped resistance, surrendered, accepting his warmth.
Toyami carefully removed one blanket from him, threw it on the sand, and, lifting Kai in his arms, put him on the blanket. Then he lay down next to him, crawled into his blanket, and hugged him to himself. Kai didn’t even wake up. Toyami understood that he was tired, tired of the road, tired of his questions, and this mine – he understood how much strain and inner strength it had taken away.
He raised himself slightly on one elbow, looked at Kai’s face, illuminated by the light of the moon, and gently touched his lips to his temple.
“Thank you,” then fell silent, thought, and quietly whispered, “I love you.”
He lay down, hugged the sleeping Kai more tightly, carefully adjusting the blanket on him. He did not want to sleep, he lay and looked at the moon and the night sky in the stars.
“Have I really loved him? Loved. What is it, because I have never loved anyone? There were fleeting hobbies, physical cravings, passion, lust. Yes, it was all in my life. Why do I feel something different about him now? Such that I have never felt for anyone. is this love? I do not know. I do not know anything. I don’t understand myself. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. But I know one thing: I’m so happy to be with him.”
He was lying for a long time and thinking about everything that was happening to him now.”
