After finishing another exam, I signaled to Alice that I’ll be going first after placing the paper on the teacher’s table, grabbing my bag and opening the door relaxed.
“Kid, you better take things more seriously, or you’ll just end up doing shady business for the rest of your life.” Just when I wanted to exit the class, the teacher’s stern voice attracted my attention. Seeing his sharp glare as if judging my very being, I smiled then shrugged my shoulders while feeling a bit irritated inside.
“And what if I do shady business for the rest of my life? What does that have anything to do with you?”
“Leon, are you out of your mind? I’m saying this for your own good-”
“Are you, really…?”
“Huh?”
I whispered as to myself and the teacher asked annoyed, making me just chuckle and shake my head uninterested.
“Nah, nothing. See ya.”
“Hey, you wait-”
I had no interest in hearing him further so I closed the door, cutting him short. I sighed a bit irritated then turned to leave, only to see one of the punks from the other class going out with a cynical smile, his teacher’s voice resounding loudly from inside,
“You wrote nothing this time as well! You will only end up gathering trash your whole life, you useless prick!”
“Wow~ not only I don’t get any encouragement for the future, but I also get called useless. Is that how a teacher should be?”
“You think you can teach me how to do my work?! Get lost already! I don’t want to see you anymore!”
“We’ll see each other literally the next day, teacher.”
“GET OUT!”
“Jesus, what a temper.”
He closed the door slowly as if only to annoy the teacher further, then he sighed and scratched his head, a tired expression being visible on his face as well.
“She didn’t even see the improvements… Guess it’s really just a waste of time.”
He was a tall young man with short and unruly black dyed hair and amber ingenious eyes, two small earrings in the shape of rings on his right ear, a leather bracelet with a metal plate that had engraved a wolf’s head on his left wrist, while around his neck there was a wooden black Russian cross with sharp corners on a steel chain. His uniform was also worn with no regard to the school’s uniform regulations as he made himself seem fashionable and a free spirit.
Feeling my gaze, both of us locked eyes for a while then an awkward silence befell.
“You heard him, kids? I swear, you lot better focus on your studies and stop doing useless things or your future’s gone!”
“That damn brat! Saw that? That’s how not to be in high school. Everyone better focus on perfecting themselves and get higher grades for your own good!”
From both our respective classes the teachers’ voices echoed outside, making me click my tongue annoyed while having him shake his head as if disappointed.
“And they’re supposed to be teachers? I can’t even laugh at this.”
“I don’t know what a good teacher’s supposed to be like, but sure enough they’re not one of them.”
We both smiled agreeing with each other then he reached out for a handshake.
“Yo, I’m Sabin. Let’s grab a drink.”
I raised an eyebrow surprised at his reached-out hand, looking at him skeptically. Knowing what I was thinking, he chuckled then continued,
“Yeah, I know who you are. And yes I do fear for my skin, but I don’t think I’d get my life threatened after only chatting it out with you for a day, right?”
“How am I supposed to know? But either way, I’m not going. I got work to do.”
“I’ll pay for it.”
“Then let’s go.”
I shook his hand with a smile and his smile twitched, wondering just how much of a stingy person can I be.
We stopped at a vending machine near the school’s entrance and he passed me a can of soda. We then sat down on the stone stairs and slowly drank our sodas, looking at the empty sports field in front of us.
“You don’t mind if I put on some music, do you?”
“I’m fine with it.”
He took out his phone and a hip-hop beat started sounding, the vocal beginning strong. It was a street-rap song and it had as the subject the street life.
Re x2
[These are,
Evil streets, ruled by devils,
Here’s an advice, don’t put on a show,
Every corner is full of,
Siphons and cops,
And when you screw it up,
Expect the attacks.]
The verses were stern and the instrumental really made me question what I’m actually trying so hard for.
“You like rap?”
I asked as we listened to the song and he asked back a bit surprised,
“You don’t?”
“I’m more into metal. But I can’t say I dislike this. I can relate to what they’re saying.”
“That’s what rap it’s all about. At least, the street-rap. It makes people like us feel like we also belong to a world, making us aware that we also have our own world… although not the best one.”
He glanced at me while pointing my way, his eyes deep,
“I’m also questioning which world you’re part of.”
“My world?”
I looked at him confused then he signaled me to keep quiet for a bit, listening to the lyrics,
[…Just looking for a way out
I think it would be good at least a try
To turn BMWs into lifeboats
With which to run away from this jungle
Of concrete full of animals,
Or if we stay put, to start hunting
And only then
To fall to our knees for the canons
Help us God…]
He then started the song again as he loved the instrumental, taking another sip from his can. He pointed at me with his calm gaze and explained,
“Heard that? We punks are either trying to live in the jungle of concrete and join the animals who think only for themselves, or get out of it for a better lifestyle by desperately reaching out for God and keeping ourselves from falling into darkness.”
“Wow, that sounds so poetic.”
“You talk like that, but aren’t you in the same boat as us? How f***** up has your life become all of a sudden? Alone and under pressure from all directions. How many times have you kept yourself from just losing your mind? Thinking whenever to start smoking a short one, or drinking some good stuff? Trying anything just to drown your memories.”
“… Whatever man.”
He gazed deeply into my eyes and as if making me remember all the feelings I tried to bury, I looked away annoyed and sighed as to calm myself, my heart beating loudly in panic.
At first I wanted to say As if you know what I’ve been through, but sure enough one doesn’t need to go through the same thing to understand another person. I felt my back patted and looked at him as he smiled calmly, getting up and throwing his can in a trash bucket.
“Sorry about that, dude. I get that you suffered a lot. Unlike us other punks, you couldn’t even get along with others like you because of the element of fear surrounding you. From everyone I know, I think you have it the worst, being isolated like that.”
“… It’s no longer as bad, though.”
“Ah, thanks to that girly, right? Good for you, man.”
He chuckled and turned with the face towards the wall then took out a cigarette, showing it to me if I wanted. After I waved my hand he lit it up and started smoking, his face not changing as smoke evaded his open mouth. I looked at him then tried to understand his character. He did look like a rather pretentious punk alright. But his character was nothing like one’s.
“You really don’t seem like a punk at all. Other than your appearance that defies the school’s norms, I’d say nothing else it’s that much like a delinquent’s.”
He seemed surprised by my words but then he smiled calmly.
“Come. We’ll talk while walking.”
“Where are we going?”
“To show you my world.”
I got up from atop the stairs then went out the school’s gates together.
“Hey, you bastards! Are you so arrogant to shamelessly walk through the school’s gates with a lit cigarette?!”
The guard shouted while walking closer to us but both of us ignored him and just walked through the gate. He then stepped in front of us, a sharp glare in his eyes,
“Are you brats ignoring me?”
“What are you talking about mister… Toby, was it? We are doing nothing that requires your services.”
“Huh? Do I need to say that it’s against the school’s rules to smoke inside the school’s grounds?!”
“But I don’t remember smoking inside the school’s grounds, though? Or, do you have some proof to show me?”
Sabin asked confused and incredulously while taking another breath from his smoke, angering the guard even further. At this point, he was indeed outside the school’s gates, breaking no law that the guard should worry about.
“You think you’re so smart, huh? What do you think is that?”
He then pointed at a surveillance camera behind us but Sabin didn’t turn and just smiled. Of course he knew about it, that’s why he smoked while with his back at it this whole time, leaving me to raise my eyebrow impressed for a moment.
He took another deep breath then dropped the cigarette-butt and stepped on it, breathing out all the smoke downwards. He turned swiftly right in front of the guard, his deep eyes wide open while a strange pressure made the guard frown, finding something wrong with this guy,
“If you think that’s your proof, then please do check it and see if you can truly see me hold a lit cigarette inside the school grounds all the way to when I’m standing in front of you. If you do find the proof, then do call me to talk with the principal. If not, stop wasting my time, mister Toby.”
“You punk…”
Sabin left with a grin and I followed quietly while the guard understood what he meant, gritting his teeth frustrated.
“Don’t think that just because you’re a student I won’t dare lay my hands on you, punk.”
Sabin ignored his threats and just waved his hand while distancing, showing that the guards’ threats had no effect.
I observed in silence all this time and after we left for a bit further, Sabin stopped to change from his uniform into more comfortable clothes; a black t-shirt and a jeans jacket.
“Is that what you wanted to show me? That’s not very punk-like, but more like a crafty move. Are you interested in business?”
“It does sound interesting, should I try it out?”
We chuckled then I continued cynically,
“Well, even if you just wanted to tease him, that guy doesn’t seem normal in the head. You don’t know what he might try to do.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“And do what? Let him beat you in front of a CCTV camera?”
“That’s a good idea, but I’d rather not.”
I asked amused and Sabin also laughed, continuing on towards the street where I fought with Simon a few weeks ago. Unlike last time, this time there were many more people and a few of them waved at Sabin, while others only glanced either curiously or provocatively to find out our reactions. Their mean or insistent gazes were a way to provoke our reactions, some smiling cynically, some laughing out, keeping quiet, or even commenting on our appearances.
I was long used with this trashy behavior, and Sabin seemed the same as he only smiled indifferently, walking forward until he arrived at a group of both boys and girls, sitting down on the back-stairs of some block while smoking, drinking, and eating sunflower seeds, the seeds’ skin covering the stairs all around them.
“Saby~! You’re finally done with your exams?”
A girl from the group jumped in his arms and kissed him on the cheek while embracing him tightly. He also smiled and embraced her by the waist, at the same time fist-bumping the other guys in greeting.
“Yeah, done with it for the day. And it was useless. No matter how better I’m doing, I’m still tagged as useless.”
“Lol, you’re still trying? Just screw it already, dude. School’s useless. We learn nothing useful, the teachers treat themselves like gods or something, while the goodie-two-shoes around are looking at us like we’re some idiots or something. I’m so pissed by that, then they’re asking why we’re picking on them. F****** bastards.”
Another guy from his group commented annoyed and then a little popping sound attracted my attention, a girl chewing gum while wearing her shirt like a bra stared at me intently. I also gazed at her with a neutral look then she raised her eyebrows, a mischievous smile on her face. She squeezed her chest provocatively while her tone cynical,
“What is it, handsome? Looking so hard at me, I suppose you want some?”
“Your stare was so obvious, I was just wondering what you need.”
“Nothing. I’m just looking.”
“Then same for me as well.”
“heh, look at this guy.”
She raised an eyebrow interested while chewing on her gum but another guy also asked, not that welcoming with me,
“Oy, who is this guy? I don’t like his tone.”
“Who are you talking with, low-cap?”
“The f*** did you call me?”
He got up and raised his chin, only now his eyes being visible under the lowered cap he was wearing. Seeing this, Sabin chuckled for a moment then the guy turned to him, his neck’s veins more visible by the second.
“The f*** you laughing at, bastard? You think I won’t dare bash that pretty face? Huh?”
“Gabor! Stop being such a dick already! Don’t you dare touch Saby!”
The girl that continued to hug him stepped in-between them but Sabin gently pulled her closer by the waist, making both of them look at his calm yet sharp gaze,
“Gabor, you are strong and fearsome, that’s for sure. And I heard you also got some connections? But aren’t all of those pretty useless if you can’t even touch the first person that insulted you?”
“Huh? You think I don’t dare to f*** this guy over?”
Gabor pointed at me with a wild gaze and I was ready to just turn and run, not willing to waste either time or energy on a fruitless fight like this.
Sigh~ did this guy drag me here only to put me in trouble? How annoying…
I sighed troubled then just waited for an opening when Sabin’s words made me raise an eyebrow,
“Who said I was talking about him? Know the school near this place? The gate guard there always talks crap about the punks around, especially about a specific someone he calls low-cap. He keeps on talking s*** like: those kids walk around like they own the place. I bet they’ll just piss their pants like some p****** the moment you talk a bit louder, f****** useless trashes.”
“…Sabin, are you messing with me?”
“Hey, I’m just saying what I heard. I’m not foolish enough to screw with you.”
“…”
He then glanced at me again and back at Sabin. He stepped out and brushed shoulders with me.
“You, we’re not done yet.”
Then he left and took out his phone, obviously up to no good. Then, the girl in front of Sabin seemed a bit confused, gazing upwards at Sabin with big eyes,
“Sabin? Isn’t that school your- mmph?!”
She couldn’t finish her sentence thanks to Sabin who sealed her lips with his own. Overwhelmed for a moment, the girl then closed her eyes and answered back deeply, making me gaze at them distantly.
“What the heck are you doing?”
“Puah~!”
He released her, or rather, he got to get away from her strong grip, a helpless smile on his face while she seemed drunk in the feeling as a string of saliva still connected their lips. She pouted annoyed at me, her voice also showing displeasure.
“Why you had to talk now… Read the mood, idiot.”
On the other hand, Sabin wiped the saliva, sighing out while feeling more at ease now.
“Well, let’s say it was a desperate move to stop the cat from going out of the bag.”
“Oh~? I’m your cat now~? When are you going to pat me?”
Beautifully misunderstanding him, Sabin chuckled then patted her head as she leaned closer, making me understand what he meant while gazing at his clothes once again.
So he’s hiding the fact that he’s from exactly that school by changing clothes whenever he meets up with them… And by the looks of it, I guess our school’s guardian won’t be coming to work for a while now.
“You guessed it right.”
He smiled at me after accurately guessing my thoughts, but then I smiled cynically.
“Are you not afraid that low-cap might end up in the juvie? We’re talking here about attacking a law-abiding citizen out of the blue, you know?”
“Ah, I didn’t think of that. I just informed him of what I heard.”
“Haha~! Sabin, you dummy~!”
The girl laughed lightly but after reading his eyes, it wasn’t hard to tell that he was blatantly lying. In fact, he wished that both the guard and the low-cap guy just end up ridden off; the guard getting beat up while that Gabor gets reported to police then sent into juvie.
“W-wait. Isn’t that bad? He might get reported to the police! He’s already 19 so won’t he end up in prison?!”
The guy that fist-bumped Sabin asked worried but then Sabin just shrugged his shoulders, his eyes reflecting innocence and ignorance,
“No way would things escalate to such a point, right? I mean, no matter how crazy that Gabor is, he must know the consequences at least for a bit, right?”
“I-I guess?”
The other guy didn’t say anymore but still worried while the others didn’t seem to care in the first place, nobody seeming to be in friendly connections with him. The gum girl even grumped as she crossed her hands irritated.
“To be honest, I really wish for that bastard to get locked up in prison already. He’s always groping my ass whenever he gets the chance and I need to hold my reflex to just slap that dumb face of his thanks to his crazy character, not sure what he would do otherwise.”
“Well, if you weren’t part of this group, knowing his personality I’m pretty sure he would’ve assaulted you already.”
“Yay~… how great…”
She rolled her eyes then the others also started talking with wide smiles, discussing how great it would be if he just ended up in prison.
Looking back at Sabin, I saw a sinister hidden grin on his face and I understood that this was planned by him for a good while now.
“Well, the two of us will continue on for a bit longer. See you guys soon.”
“Aw~ you’re already leaving? Can I at least come with you?”
“I’m sorry, Malina. I’ll need to chat with him a bit. I’ll come back to you later, okay?”
“Buu~… Fine, but you’ll have to take me for a date next~.”
“Sure, no worries.”
She jumped excitedly then we continued on down the street. I glanced at Sabin and I observed his face completely neutral, unable to read any feelings in his eyes anymore.
“Is she your girlfriend?”
I asked directly and his eyebrows jolted, shrugging his shoulders for a bit.
“Well, I guess she is. I mean, I did try to get friendly with her as she was part of the group, but didn’t expect for her to suddenly open up to me so much.”
“So you’re deceiving her as well?”
“Can’t say I deceive her. I’m just going along with her wishes.”
“Ain’t that the same?”
I chuckled amused then shook my head.
“In the end, why did you show me all this? Is this the world you talked about?”
“Yes. What do you think?”
“It’s literally a dog eats dog world. But I can see you’re more of a brains-type rather than muscles. You’re using them to survive?”
“Using it’s a strong word… They’re my friends after all. And… I don’t need them to survive.”
“It didn’t seem that way to me at all.”
“Because your meaning of the word friend it’s different… But even so, there are also those who find their group members as brothers and fight together for each other. That’s how you were before, right?”
“…”
“However, I can’t quite agree with that style. If one of us gets into deep trouble because of their own foolishness, for sure I don’t wish to get dragged down with them as well.”
“So basically, you want to escape the street?”
“Yes.”
“And the reason why you’re showing and telling me all of this is…?”
He then went beside the corner and took off his backpack, changing clothes once again. While doing so he started talking while glancing now and then behind the corner,
“I’m just curious. To be honest, I heard that men cut from the same stone look the same. Although we’re obviously different people, your eyes kind of remind me of myself. From what I know, you’re isolated from others and now ended up slowly reaching out to the normal world thanks to that girl you’re with… Let me ask you, will you convert to the same world as hers? Or continue to keep connections with this world?”
“What do you think?”
“If we’re really alike, then you’d probably just stay in none while at the same time, hold connections with both.”
He smiled amused then his eyes turned urgent and rushed behind the corner where two cops were patrolling the area.
“Sir! Sir! There’s trouble in the area!”
“Huh? What happened?”
He stopped the cops and quickly informed them of a strange guy with a low cap that went towards our school that was right over the blocks, seeming up to trouble. The cops frowned then said sternly,
“Kid, even if you say that someone’s up for trouble, you can’t expect us to just arrest anyone for having a mean look on their faces, right?”
B*******. You always do that.
Both Sabin and I tried our best not to comment with a sneer, but we held it in and Sabin quickly continued,
“I do understand. But at least try to patrol that area as well, for safety reasons! I worry about the gate guard at that school. He’s a bit mean, but he’s a good guy!”
“… Okay, kid. We’ll see if anything’s wrong there. Let’s go.”
“Thank you! I’d wish to come with you, but I need to hurry to my mother in the hospital. I promised to visit her.”
“Alright, no worries. We’ll deal with things on our way.”
“Thank you!”
The cop shrugged his shoulders then just signaled his companion to go together with him while Sabin bowed politely.
“Well, that will deal with it now.”
He returned to his usual self then took off his shirt and changed back, both of us going on forward until he decided to separate ways, leaving behind only a few words,
“Well, if you ever feel like going down this path, then hit me up. I’d be glad to befriend an able person like yourself.”
“Befriend? Or use?”
“Both, I guess. But if you don’t wanna, then no problem. I’ll just live my life how I know best. Now gotta go to my part-time job. I didn’t b******* about my mother, I need to make enough money for her.”
“You poor bastard.”
I chuckled while shaking my head and he shrugged his shoulders, taking out his phone to write to his girlfriend that they won’t get to see each other until later at night.
.
The next day when I went to school for the next exam, I saw the usual spot for the guard now empty. Teachers were chatting worryingly at the school’s entrance and there was even a cop who seemed to question them over a few things. When I went to class in the middle of the pause, I saw Sabin on the hallway while looking down at the teachers from the window. We made eye contact then we remained both silent, the rumors around attracting my attention,
“Hey, hey! I heard our guard got attacked by a group of delinquents yesterday! Is that true?”
“Yeah, I saw it with my own eyes! I saw how right after they beat him down, the cops appeared and immediately incapacitated them.”
“They’ll end up either in juvie or in prison for that, that’s for sure.”
“As they deserve, damn delinquents.”
Left and right students talked about the subject with worry, but Sabin made a short smile while bringing his finger to his lips, indicating to keep silent.
What a crafty bastard.
I shook my head amused then just entered my class, preparing for the exam.
