After the second class finished, I quickly rushed outside the building and down below my window to search for my blades. When Simon tried to report me, I already threw them and made sure to drop them in the bunch of gathered leaves beside the trees.
“Leon? Why did you rush here?”
“Huh? You again? Didn’t you say you hated me just now?”
As I was looking around and kicking leaves away, Alice came to me and looked curiously at my feet, searching for whatever I was looking for. Hearing my question, she blushed for a moment as she played with her hair embarrassed,
“A-Ah~ ehehe~. I was just joking.”
“Joking about hating someone? Isn’t that too extreme?”
“B-but you guys were saying such mean things! And even dragged me in your fight…”
“Hmm… Yeah, probably I might have said something hurtful to you without intending. I don’t know what I said but, sorry about that.”
“Hm?”
She froze in place for a moment while looking my way and as I was continuously searching around, I glanced at her and asked confused,
“What are you staring at?”
“Hm? A-ah, I was just surprised to hear you apologize for something.”
“Hey, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I won’t back down from that. Although I’m not sure with what I insulted you back then, the moment you started crying it must’ve been bad so, it was only obvious for me to apologize- AH! There they are!”
“Ehehe~ what is, what is?”
Immediately feeling better, she came closer to me and saw the blades I was searching for, looking amazed at them. My clothes were filled with little pockets I made that have straps inside of them. The blades were sewed on such bands of straps, so whenever I wanted to take them out I would simply grab them from through the pockets and pull without a problem, being easily detached.
“Oooh~! This is so ingenious! But do you really need to wear such things? You seem strong enough to be able to protect yourself even without the need for such complicated accessories.”
She poked my arm with a playful smile and I evaded her annoyed, answering sharply.
“Are you kidding me? The moment I strike back, this school will expel me in a moment. Everyone is with their eyes on me.”
“And you think they won’t find out about these blades?”
“Hey, I’m prepared. The moment someone reports me, I just get rid of them. It’s easier to take these off than to hide bruised knuckles. Besides, I have these only so no random person starts grabbing me… as someone did.”
“Alright, alright, I get it.”
I glanced at her and she raised her hands in surrender, sighing troubled as she understood she’s yet to be forgiven.
As I placed my straps back on, I wanted to go back to class, but Alice stopped me suddenly by grabbing onto my hand.
“Huh? What happened?”
“I- err…”
She looked at me with her big eyes and tried to explain her sudden action, starting to feel a bit embarrassed.
“W-why don’t we just stay here for a while longer? I think the class it’s still in turmoil because of what happened during the last pause. We don’t really wish for something similar to happen again, no?”
I looked at her intently, then at her hands that felt warm yet rough because of the bandages around her fingers. I sighed troubled and explained calmly,
“Look. If you mess around with me, rather than some random gangster coming for your life, what will be the end of you will be the school itself. You won’t die physically, but for sure your social life will be doomed, you get that?”
“Hmm… To be honest, if all my friends would suddenly stop talking with me just because I befriended someone they didn’t like, then I guess they weren’t really friends with me from the very beginning, so I don’t mind this.”
“W-wait, what…?”
This time it was my turn to be baffled. I looked at her once again and observed how there was no fear of being isolated, neither fear of possible dangers coming her way. I was shocked for a moment and I felt like laughing out loud,
“Pfft, who would’ve thought that such a weirdo would appear out of nowhere?”
“What is that supposed to-…“
She pouted at my comment but after seeing a rare and sincere smile, she remained silent as she looked somewhat surprised. Afterward, she also smiled delightfully and we continued chatting until the class started, walking through the fallen leaves now and then while staying away from other people’s gazes behind the school.
The next day, Alice decided to move beside me but I still refused, not wanting to give my free spot to anyone.
“Ooh come on! How stingy can you be?! Don’t you want to at least stop being alone and actually have a bench-mate?”
“And give up half my space? Are you kidding me? Besides, why would you want to sit near me? I stink most of the time of metal or sweat. Shoo, shoo, just get away before the stinky monster around me reaches your nose.”
“What crazy things are you spouting now? There’s no such thing! Here! I smell nothing unpleasant around you.”
“That’s cuz I got to shower today- Hey! Don’t sniff me now! What, you a dog or something?”
She leaned closer towards me and I hid behind my bag, leaning lower and lower in my seat annoyed because she got closer and closer. The class looked at us and some couldn’t help feeling like laughing amused at our little comedy show.
“Alice!”
Today Simon came again and rushed toward Alice, pulling her away from me by the wrist. With an urgent face he said,
“I told you! This guy’s nothing but a bad luck-bringer! Don’t hang out with him, or you’ll end up suffering some kind of disaster!”
“Sigh~…”
While he talked some crazy things about me, I looked at him rather bored wondering when will people finally grow up and stop talking such crap.
“Oy Simon, if you simply don’t want her to be near me then just say so, why spit such b******* about misfortune outta nowhere?”
“What b*******? Forgot what happened to your mother-“
“It was inevitable, alright? My father’s job means putting everything on the line. I can’t and won’t blame my father for what happened. Maybe my luck is bad, but it won’t decide my destiny now.”
“Hah! As if you know what you’re even talking about!“
Alice then grabbed his hand and made him look at her. Her poker face surprised him for a moment then she said in a calm tone,
“Let go.”
“Alice, I’m doing this for your good-“
“I asked you to let go.”
Her unyielding eyes infuriated Simon and grabbed her even stronger, pulling her to him.
“Listen to me! This bastard it’s-“
After being pulled, she immediately got into a throwing position but then I quickly got up and grabbed Simon’s hand that was grabbing hers. Right after, I squeezed hard, making him let go of her and try to resist.
Working all day as a blacksmith, my grip alone was strong enough to crack nuts and shatter dried branches only by squeezing. A teenager’s wrist was nothing more than a twig in my eyes, barely squeezing it and already making him feel like screaming.
“Simon, I think you’ve done enough. If she doesn’t want to, then let her dig her own grave. Who are you to force yourself into someone else’s life?”
“Gah! L-Leon, you- f*****…! Let. Go!”
“With pleasure.”
I let him go and then a purple bruise remained behind, shocking everyone who saw his injury. Even Simon was pale in the face after seeing the bruise, then another girl got up and glared at me furiously,
“Leon Roil. Another such act of violence and I’ll report you to the teacher.”
“And you are?”
I looked at her indifferently and this irritated her even more as she answered back with a bit of arrogance,
“I’m the class representative and I won’t let you drag my class down, understood?”
“My class? Wow, aren’t we the prideful type here?”
“Say what you may, but I’ll be sure to bring you out from this class.”
“Wait a bit! He was the one who grabbed me!”
Alice then shouted annoyed and the class representative glanced at her as she answered,
“I know, that’s why I’m only warning Leon and not reporting him immediately.”
“My~ how kind~.”
I rolled my eyes bored and the girl only seemed more irritated. After this, Simon made a step forward and looked at me fiercely, commenting with a wide smile.
“I see you’re finally up to fighting once again, eh? Leon. Fine, I can’t wait to fight you after school.”
“Nah just wait a min-“
Not even letting me explain myself, Simon went and left out the door, leaving me to remain with my mouth open mid-sentence. I sighed annoyed and fell back on my seat then Alice stepped in front of me frustrated,
“Why did you interfere?! I was fine on my own!”
“Yes I know, but don’t forget we’re inside the class right now. If the teacher were to be informed that you threw a schoolmate in class, be sure to suffer some harsh penalties. It’s enough for one to be supervised, there’s no need to be two now.”
Hearing this, she looked at me with her big eyes then she lowered her face, a slight blush appearing on her face, making me feel like she started to have some weird ideas.
“I see, so you did it because of me.”
“Alright, enough. Just go to your seat, shoo shoo.”
“Alright alright! Don’t shoo me now.”
“Yes yes, as you say.”
“Are you love-birds done yet?”
The class representative commented with a frown then I smirked at her amused,
“Oh, you’re still here. Better just go and take your seat as well. Class is starting, Miss class representative.”
“Leon, better watch your words-“
“Or else what? Cry to the teacher? And he’ll do what to me? Give me more homework? Lower my grades? Or, expel me? Girly, please. Believe me when I say, I don’t give a f*** about this life, let alone this shitty school.”
Let alone Alice, even the girl, and other classmates around remained surprised after seeing my cold and indifferent smile as if I truly didn’t care about anything or anyone.
“You’re mad!”
“Seeing yourself as a queenfish inside a fishing pool it’s what I call madness. At least I live for myself, not for others.”
She turned away harrumphing while Alice remained surprised, being able to understand my words, more or less.
Class finally started and, just like always, I would randomly start sketching something or calculate the cost for the materials and production time, the next pause coming in a flash.
“Seeing yourself as a queenfish in a fishing pool… It means that no matter how great one is, they’re still to be used and eaten by someone else who takes all profit from their backs, right? From where did you hear that?”
Alice then appeared before me again and I simply continued sketching on my own while explaining vaguely,
“From my head. Not every word or riddle has to be borrowed from someone else to be smart. Besides, such words can be taken as dumb or smart quotes, depending on who hears it.”
“That’s true… But still, was my meaning accurate? Or you meant something else?”
“Take it as you wish. Find a description that suits yourself rather than one imposed by another. I said only what I was thinking, but that doesn’t mean you need to think what I’m thinking.”
“Buuh~ you’re no fun.”
“Then go back to your seat.”
“I refuse.”
I stared irritated at her as she smiled widely, stubbornly looking at me while I took my notes.
Whenever I wanted or not, each day we chatted in pauses until class started… or rather, she tried to make me talk while teasing me, disturbing my quiet time for as long as possible, making me wonder just what she was planning.
One day after school ended, I went towards the exit with Alice, but this time Simon was waiting for us at the entrance.
“Yo, sorry about back then. Didn’t expect for my grip to be that strong.”
“Drop the crap, Leon. Come, it’s time to end this.”
Simon came to me and wanted to drag me away. He reached out for my wrist but then quickly changed and grabbed my hand, a smug appearing on his face.
“Hah! Do you think I forgot about your hidden blades? Not even close!”
“…”
I raised my hand grabbed by him and looked rather disgusted,
“Can you kindly retract your hand from mine? I really don’t swing that way…”
“Eh?”
He finally understood what I meant and he quickly let go, both of us wiping our hands on our shirts.
“Argh! Whatever! Just come! I’ll be sure to beat your ass real good.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Thank you.”
He stared at me in the eyes but I simply brushed past him, walking away. While doing so, Simon continued to curse at my back.
“Are you running away?! Since when was Leon such a p****?”
“S*** happens in life, man. See ya.”
“Y-you, coward! Piece of s***! Trash! Waste of human! Bad luck bringer! Orphan! Bastard!..”
As Simon tried his best to provoke me, I simply heard his words like barks from a rabid dog, not even minding it as I waved my hand bored.
“As you say, dude-“
“QUIET!”
However, if I don’t care, that doesn’t mean nobody cares.
Out of a fit of rage, Alice grabbed Simon and suddenly threw him over the shoulder, making him crash on the grass right beside the school’s gates with a loud thud! Luckily enough the guard was at the bathroom, or else things would’ve turned ugly.
“…”
Simon was almost passed out from the shock while I looked back baffled, Alice breathing in and out heavily with a red face.
“Stop speaking like this about Leon! You ignorant idiot!”
“Err… Alice? Are you fine?”
She suddenly shouted at the poor Simon and I couldn’t help but ask somewhat concerned as I watched her red face, her chest going up and down from the ragged breathing. Why was she even annoyed? Like, what did he do to her in the first place?
While I was still baffled, Alice walked towards me and pinched a piece of my clothing that she knew there was no blade hidden in, then started dragging me away from there.
“Let’s go, Leon. The bus waits for nobody.”
“Eh? Ah, rather. Is he fine?”
“He’s fine. I threw him on top of soft grass after all.”
“Yes, I saw how you threw him. That’s why I’m asking…”
I looked back at the collapsed Simon and couldn’t help feeling a slight shudder down my spine. After a while, we arrived at a different bus station that was rather further away from school to evade our other schoolmates. As we walked down the street, Alice suddenly stopped and her shoulders started trembling.
“H-hey, are you fine-“
I wanted to reach out to her but then she turned to face me, her eyes red as she tried to suppress her tears from anger and frustration,
“This is so unfair! Why, why is this happening?! Wasn’t he one of your friends a year ago?! How can he say all those mean words as if he truly means them? Why, why?! I just don’t get it! Uhh! It’s just so frustrating!”
“Yeah, well- w-wait! Why are you even crying?”
“You had to go through so much! Is it not enough that you need to suffer from such loneliness alone? Do they really have to be so against you for no reason?! It’s just so unfair! How, how are you able to suffer all this?!”
“W-wait a bit, this is not the time or place to…”
We were in a populated area so many people saw her suddenly start crying in the middle of the street in front of a thug-like figure (myself), making me feel rather awkward. I quickly grabbed her by the hand then went to a park and sat her down on a bench under a tree.
“Hold on for a minute, ok?”
Seeing her nod absentmindedly, I quickly left her alone for a short while and in less than half a minute I came back with a tulip. Although it was weird for tulips to still be alive at such a time in September, flower shops always had the necessary goods at them for tough times, the prices being accordingly as well though…
“T-this is…?”
She looked surprised while sniffing through tears, observing me come closer with a flower in hand. I crouched in front of her somewhat desperate while sweating from my forehead and with a serious look I pointed at her face then at the flower,
“If you stop crying I’ll give you this, how does it sound? Look, it’s a white tulip. Ain’t it beautiful? Surely you don’t feel like crying now that you’ve seen this beauty, right? Also, no bargaining, no refunds.”
“…”
Alice looked momentarily stunned at me and I was also staring with my eyes wide open at her, thinking that maybe I did something wrong again, feeling a bit awkward. Then she started laughing out of nowhere, now tears of joy falling down her face. I also smiled, breathing out a sigh of relief that she calmed down then gave her the flower.
“Thank you, Leon. I feel much better now… It’s beautiful.”
After a while, she was able to calm down and now she was smiling from ear to ear and giggled like an idiot as she stared at the flower, making me think that maybe I broke her somehow.
Observing her smiling face, I think it was the first time in a while that I was properly looking at someone, being somewhat impressed by how beautiful she actually was. While I looked at her a bit dazed, she then surprised me by turning my way, our eyes meeting for a moment.
“Hm? What is it?”
I quickly asked to not seem as if I was actually staring at her for long, my heart jumping from my chest for a second.
W-well, that was weird.
Confused by my heart that skipped a beat, I calmed down in a second but then Alice turned sour again, admiring the flower while also asking saddened,
“Leon, after all… why does everyone hate you like that? Why are they… not trying to understand you?”
“Why would they?”
“Eh?”
I asked back with a matter-of-fact tone and she remained momentarily frozen, looking at me as if not believing her ears.
“Just think about it. You have a defective or dangerous product by your side but you can easily buy another one as you have the necessary money on you. Would you waste time and money on repairing the old product? Or just go and buy a brand new one?”
“B-but what does that have anything to do with others understanding you?”
“Everything. It has everything in common. Just like how people throw old and defective products, the same way they cut dangerous and unsteady bonds with others. Especially if that bond has the risk of harming them. Even if the probability it’s 1%, they would still not risk it and just cut that bond then just form a new one. I fully understand it and I don’t blame them.”
“B-but that’s not how it should be at all! That’s not how friendship works, right?!”
“Maybe, maybe not. I’m not one to judge, and neither do I find any fault in that, as I already said.”
I leaned on the bench and looked up while placing both hands at the back of my head to relax, Alice looking at me with saddened eyes.
“How… are you able to accept all of this?”
“Then should I have gone mad and killed myself?”
“W-what?! No-!”
“Then that’s that. Either accept reality or get crushed by it.”
“What do you mean by that? Leon!”
She got up and shouted at me as if it’s unfair for me to simply accept this. I glanced at her distantly and looked back at the sky from between the empty branches of the dying tree, sighing and explaining calmly,
“Look, Alice. When you’re inside a storm, you’ll only exhaust yourself by swimming in the opposite direction, ending up being swept by the current then engulfed by the sea. Meanwhile, accepting the current, letting it take you then swim in different directions simply so it won’t engulf you but take you where you want, that’s how you’ll be able to survive and also probably how you’ll get out of it alive. Accepting how unfair and merciless the world is and bowing your head to it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily agreeing to how the world works. You’re just seeing your goals at the very end. Is that simple… or complicated.”
I then looked at her and said with a firm look, trying to make her understand,
“I accept but don’t agree, Alice. Fighting the whole school would only result in my demise, that’s why I’m learning the rules and trying to work my way in-between them as much as possible. I can play by the rules of the game, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let myself turn into a pawn for others.”
“Ah…”
She couldn’t say anymore as she simply sat back down on the bench, looking in a daze at the flower.
“Leon I… I don’t seem to be able to understand you… You seem so mature as if nothing would affect or surprise you anymore.”
“You suddenly throwing Simon like that sure surprised me a lot.“
“Ahaha~ sorry, I was a bit annoyed by his remarks.”
“That’s more than a bit.”
We laughed amused for a while then I got up, having to go home for work. However, Alice then stopped me with the tulip in her hand.
“U-uhm, Leon!”
“Hm?”
“Can I take this as a… sign of friendship?”
“Take it as you want.”
I smiled amused while Alice seemed extremely pleased, leaving with a wide grin on her face. After I arrived back, the first thing to do was, of course, food, then prepare for work as the day was yet to be finished.
