The next day at work, while I was working on the sword, my uncle suddenly interrupts me to tell me that there’s someone at the door looking for me.
Somewhat confused, I went to the door after putting on a shirt I found on a chair and there I saw some skinny dude about the same age or younger, with dirty long hair, tired and depressed eyes, skinny enough to see his cheekbone, clothed only with black clothes and appearing to be trembling, perhaps from the cold autumn’s weather although he was already wearing thick clothes.
“… You are?”
“… Does it matter?”
He looked suspiciously at me and I remained silent for a moment. Understanding that most probably he was from around the neighborhood as such weirdos could be found only in these areas, I simply sighed and asked,
“Alright then, what do you want?”
“A- a personalized knife.”
His eyes shone with a mysterious glint and I waved my hand uninterested.
“If you got no money then piss off. I don’t work for free.”
“O-of course not. Here, I was able to steal this much from my parents. I-is it enough?”
He took out more paper money from his pocket valuing 175 euros, all of them being crumbled together in a messy way. I grabbed the money in the next moment and with a friendly manner I invited him in, holding him by the shoulder.
“A~lright! Come in, buddy. Let us now see how that knife should look like, shall we?”
H-how quick he changed after he saw the money…
I could tell that the kid judged me but I couldn’t care less as I walked him in and sat him in the kitchen. He looked rather baffled at the chaotic interior of the house and how clean the kitchen was in comparison with the rest of the house.
I then took out a little notebook with a pen and started writing down the details for his knife while he described them to me.
“I see, so you want it a double-edged dagger-like knife, but what to differ would be the end of the handle which has… two sharp metallic horns directed upwards… By upwards you mean-”
“Towards the handle.”
“…”
I looked at him confused and then I asked,
“Ah, so you want to make it for a reverse-grip only?”
“No? It’s for a normal grip.”
“…”
I froze once again and then I sighed and just to be sure, I made a rough sketch of the knife right in front of him. The knife looked normal, but at the end of the handle, two pointy ends were coming upwards towards the handle, in the exact same direction with the edges of the blade. It was a dumb design because, if one were to use the knife with a normal grip, the two pointy metallic pikes would only end up injuring the wrist of the wielder, stabbing through the moment it stabbed forward.
“So you’re telling me you want it like this?”
“Yes! Ah, wait. If you could make the horns a bit more…”
He then drew the two pikes pointed even closer to the handle, now the chances of being stabbed by them going all the way to 100% while using it.
“And if you could put these runes on the blade it would be great.”
“…”
He took the pen and started cribbing some symbols on his own but then I interrupted him.
“Hold on, if you want to stab something with this knife, you’ll only end up injured because of those pikes. Don’t you want me to-”
“No, no. Just leave them like that.”
“But then-”
“It’s fine, I know how to use a knife.”
“…”
I remained silent for a moment then just massaged my forehead and asked still a bit overwhelmed,
“What are you even trying to use such a knife for? Runes, dumb horn-like pikes… What, you gonna sacrifice goats or something?”
“N-no, I only have chickens- I- I mean! …Does it matter?”
“…”
I felt like taking a few steps back and even passing his money back, but the guy quickly waved his hands in a hurry, sweat falling down his forehead,
“L-look. It was a joke, a joke! I- I won’t be using it for anything, it’s just… For collection! Yeah! B-but it has to be sharp, you know? F-for authenticity.”
For collection seems to be your brain, you creep.
“Please! you’re the only one who makes knives with crazy designs without asking questions or reporting to the police!”
Oh so you do know how f***** up this design is.
I continued to look at him weirdly but then I just sighed and said “Well, whatever. No refunds.”
Already annoyed by his pathetic face, I took the notebook and kicked him out, telling him to come after three days.
While I was crafting it, of course my uncle looked rather confused at the blueprint for the knife, looking at me like at some weirdo.
“The f*** you makin’ this ugly s*** for?”
“A request. Don’t ask me.”
“From how? Masochistic Satan? The f*** are these runes and dumb horns for?”
“Heck if I know… And I don’t wanna know either.”
“…. Is it goats?”
“He said he only has chickens…”
“Poor bastard…”
I sighed tired and even my uncle was creeped out by whoever asked for such a knife.
Normally the punks I made the knives for were asking for dumb designs as well; going with flames-like blades, uselessly huge handle-protections like those from games, unrealistically thin or thick blades, some even wanting them to shine in different colors. Although I could do that by mixing different metals or other chemical materials, the end product might as well be only for collection as the durability would weaken the moment you add something worse than iron. Uncle was always questioning why I kept on taking such dumb requests when I could use my skills on crafting real blades. But I guess he’s not aware how much these idiots actually pay for these dumb requests. Because I ask no questions, I keep no history of transactions about them, and neither do I put my signature on them, they can say they crafted them themselves while if they report me for crafting them, the police can find no proof of me being the crafter as I only handle them with gloves while any other proof gets destroyed. I’m already part of a legal company together with my uncle, and the materials used to craft them are those stolen- I mean, found around the neighborhood. Basically, we are clean in any aspect and the only ones in trouble will be the ones who get caught, not us.
If they pay, who am I to judge their dumb tastes? Heck, I would gladly craft them a sharp p*nis if the pay was agreeable. It’s all about money~.
After shrugging my shoulders indifferently, I continued to craft the knife and on the last day, I made sure to make those two dumb horns as sharp as possible, so the moment you get to use this knife, your wrist will remember it.
“H-how is it? did you finish it?”
Just as I finished engraving the runes as well, the creepy and gloomy kid appeared at my door once again while looking left and right as if we were dealing with drugs or something.
“There you go.”
I passed the knife to him and his eyes shone with excitement. He then grabbed it and slashed forward, only to suddenly stop, a thin strand of blood going down his arm as the horns stabbed into his wrist.
Heh, how is it? I told you it’s a dumb idea. You ignorant brat-…
However, contrary to my expectations, his normally gloomy face suddenly showed a wide smile while cold sweat fell down his forehead from the pain.
“T-this is p-perfect… T-thanks.”
“Uh, yeah… Sure.”
I looked at his distancing back with a baffled face but then I shook my head, happy that at least I made another 175 euros in just three days, up to be invested.
