After running away, I stood over the balcony in the main hall. Thoughts raced inside my head constantly. The main party had begun, leaving me out of the celebration, and I felt no need to stick around any longer. My mood was sour. If anyone approached me, I would ignore them outright. Celia and Milia tried to speak to me, but I brushed them off rudely. Not having a single care about tonight, I stepped outside of the hall, leaning over the railing to the night breeze. The sparkling lights of the party hit my back like it was a bright holiday.
“War with the Empire all because of me…” I spoke lightly. A tense feeling welled within my stomach as I quickly held back any sign of vomiting. I gripped the railing hard; my small hands barely gripped it.
Sounds of the party begin to flood, music signaling the occasion; I drown myself in pity. I slam my fist down on the railing, and a tiny spark ignites from my fist, causing a stir as I quickly hide my hand.
I looked back and forth to see if anyone noticed the premature release of magic; thankfully, it was as lonely as I was.
Nearly an hour passed, and the party refused to die down. I debated if I should go and leave. But my pride and honor forbid me from breaking a promise to my father. Turning back, I notice that my father hasn’t returned to the hall; I see Commander Eckhart standing guard, watching over the party. Celia and Milia serve the guests, and a tanned child walks around like he is in a candy shop.
“Everyone is having a good time… Not knowing what’s coming. Ignorance is bliss, huh…” Once again, lean over the railing and sigh. The breath that leaves my lungs sparks to life before me; the emotional turmoil begins to cause my magic to trigger spontaneously.
“Please, please, please…! Stop…” I plead to the empty space. My hands begin to shake from the anxiety. A sharp pain shoots up my left arm, and the stinging sensation burns. I uncover my sleeve to reveal the bandage wound. I gently lift the bandage to examine it. Inflammation and bruising had progressed to this stage.
With a worried sigh, I leave the bandage alone and pull the sleeve down to cover it again. During this interaction, a dark silhouette ruffles through the trees below me.
“What was that?” I take the time to look, trying to find any hint of disturbance or further movement.
There is a soft yet gentle touch that graces my shoulder. I jump and turn rapidly toward the figure. To my surprise, a beautifully dressed Tia warmly smiles at me.
“Well, hello there, Caleb.” Tia mimics our natural greeting and bows.
“Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“It was so easy, you know. A sulking kid like you is a prime target.”
“Whatever. You should go and enjoy the party; it is yours, after all.”
“I still barely know anyone here besides my father; I hardly fit in. Maybe we are more alike than we care to say.”
“Just leave me be. I want to be alone right now.”
“Is that what you really want?”
“What?”
“You heard me… I know we are still children in the grand scheme of things, but I at least am old enough to realize when someone is not in a good place.”
“And how is a nine-year-old boy supposed to be in? Just cheery and joyful?”
“I’m only seventeen, you know.”
“Still, to me, that is nearing adulthood.”
“We elves age far slower than any race, is true, but we tend to bask in our youth far longer. At least I’m taller than you.” Tia playfully laughs and nudges my shoulder.
“Hey, I’ll catch up in no time.”
“Yeah, maybe when you turn thirty.”
“Thirty? Really? Twenty-one years until I can match you seems not worth it.”
Before I could realize it, Tia’s presence and voice alone had begun to erode the despair within my heart. A small smile cracked across my lips, and I couldn’t help but continue the conversation.
“Well, we will see, won’t we? We got time before anything happens.” Tia lifts herself and sits on the railing next to me. I look up to meet her alluring eyes; they begin to pull me toward them. I stand up firm to look closer, but I start to remember the tragic fate that lies just ahead of us.
“We shouldn’t waste our time on fantasies.”
“What fantasies?”
“One day, we think we are on top of the world, and the next, we are lying in a ditch, bleeding out like a dry pig. The world will always be cruel.”
“How do you think we should spend our time then? Aimlessly? Recklessly? The blessing we have together is the longevity of our lives to embrace. We can explore the world and explore each other; it’s nothing but a grand adventure. You speak like you have experience of what it is like.”
That’s because I do. I look away from Tia, my emotions getting the better of me and the strain of knowing that war is approaching; I figure it would be best for Tia that we don’t talk to each other anymore.
“You’re just an elf; what do you know about us humans,” I say coldly.
“What does that mean?”
“My father arranged our marriage with your father. Don’t you ever feel like you were forced into something you didn’t want?”
“Where is this coming from, Caleb? What does that have to-“
“Do you think your free will is yours?!” I snap at her, my fists clenched tightly.
“Caleb I-“
“Just leave me alone! You don’t know anything about what it means to be me!”
Just shut up, stop talking. Don’t say another word.
“You weren’t born in the dirty streets like I was! News flash: The world is cruel! It’s filled with sick-minded laws and even more sick-minded people! If someone even looks at my hair, they judge me instantly. Do you know how much my mother tried and begged for food for us? Every day, I had to sit with moldy bread in my hand and watch my mother waste away in front of me.”
Please, no more, stop crying, say you’re sorry. Don’t continue, don’t hurt her, don’t hurt her to feel better.
“My mother died because of the color of her hair! And I will never forgive anyone for how they treated us!”
Don’t say what you are going to say…
“Caleb… I’m sorry I didn’t know-” Tia tries to understand and motions to me. Attempting to console me.
“Of course, you didn’t know! You’re just an elf! Run home where the rest of the world doesn’t drag you down. You’ll never understand what I have to go through. One day, everyone will know my pain.”
You idiot…-
“…Caleb…” Tears begin to trail down her cheeks.
The overwhelming stress brought out years of torment and pain held within my heart. What is typically a quiet, anti-social child, locked away from the world to hide what he was? All of it was just a mask of a child who lived in poverty for five years, struggling to survive every day, watching a mother wither and decay in front of his very eyes. Her love and attention grew less impactful as each day went by. Daily citizens would scoff and spit on us like we were trash. We would be randomly harassed or assaulted; my mother would use what magic she could muster to cure any wounds I sustained, not enough strength left for her to heal herself. The day she was meant to die, my father found us and recognized her. I didn’t hear what they talked about; I was barely alive myself as he took me in his arms and carried me away as she drew her last breath. I never had a chance to say goodbye or tell her how much I loved her. A resentment I have held for four years, maybe even longer… The pain and hatred within my eyes were nothing but pure resentment toward this world and its people.
“Tsk, it’s pointless to even talk about this. Screw this.” I turn away from Tia and begin to walk away.
“I wanted to spend tonight with you.” I stop in my tracks.
“Celia told me that you didn’t have it easy… She told me a lot but never told me what it was like before you came here. For that, I am sorry… I am sorry that I can’t understand… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”
Please… Don’t cry. I can’t see you like this.
“I’m sorry you are engaged to an elf like me; you never wanted this in the first place…” Tia steps back, the tears pouring from her eyes. I slowly turn and look at her, eyes shocked and wide. A terrible tightness within my chest makes it hard to breathe. What did I just did was all I could think about. I try to speak, but the words come out dry and lifeless. I try to move towards her, but something within me refuses to move my legs. I don’t want her to cry, not after what she has done for me. I’m sorry, Tia, I am the fool, the idiot, the dumbass who hurt you. Just let me say sorry… Let me say it!
“Goodbye… Caleb.” My whole body freezes cold as a tearful Tia dashes away into the hall, escaping my vision. I take a step and fall to my knees. The tightness within my chest swells further. A heavy burden builds on my shoulders, weighing me down.
“Tia…” The only words allowed to escape my lips, a cold sweat builds from my forehead as I get to my feet. The sluggish feeling of my legs is disorientating; I rush forward and reach the hall. Heavy heartbeats are all I can hear; the sound of the party is drowned out by it. Time must have been much faster than I could have perceived; the party had already occurred for hours without my realization.
I spot Tia hiding away from everyone, hiding her tears from the peering eyes. Thankfully, everyone is distracted as everyone is dancing in the middle with their partners. I prepare myself and walk down the steps, rubbing my hands on my pants as I do. I can’t stop shaking; the sinking pit in my stomach is, without a doubt, horrendous and crippling. I take a deep breath as I try to steer clear of people, some avoiding me, which I don’t care about; all I care about is her, Tia.
A hand suddenly stopped me; I turned and looked back and noticed it was my father; he looked at me with tired eyes. Somehow, in his presence, I began to relax, maybe due to him being my father, or it could just be that I needed the sudden break in thought.
“I know that look,” Valum states.
“What look?”
“I had the same look with your mother long ago. When we first met.”
“Look, father, is this really the time to talk about mother? I need to do something-“
“I’ll make this quick then, Caleb.” He grabs both my shoulders; the tight grip stops my constant shaking. I didn’t even realize I was still doing it. My eyes blink, and I begin to think rationally.
“It’s alright to make mistakes; just ensure they don’t stay mistakes.” He gestures to Tia and gives me a warm yet proud smile. He doesn’t know what happened, but he understands the mood, and he knows the effort I am putting into making things up with Tia. He gives me the courage and strength to approach her without fear.
The soft sniffling of the young elf tugs at me, but I softly speak, my voice clear and focused.
“My lady, would you like to have this dance.”
