§
The most foreign thing I have encountered in this foreign place is not the unfamiliar people and customs, even though they are indeed very strange to me, but rather the ability I never anticipated to gain, to hear the thoughts of a different and separate me, this “Lady Tiana”.
Hearing thoughts isn’t what one might imagine. One doesn’t read them like printed words on a scroll, or like hearing the spoken thoughts of an actor on the stage. Especially not when one hears the thoughts regarding memories. Her thoughts come first as concepts, unless Lady Tiana is purposefully trying to put them into words herself. They are blocks of memory and knowledge, as the ideas pass through her mind.
For that reason, while she faced the military commander and insisted upon receiving his permission, not allowing herself to use the advantage of her status, what I would have seen from the outside was a woman properly deferring to the leadership of a man in his place, but instead I deeply felt the remembrances that came with her troubled thoughts, and became aware all at once of her experiences as a soldier.
Which was a tremendous shock. Yes, I already saw the example of Lady Halet, but I must insist upon drawing a distinction between a woman carrying a sword and a woman going into battle. Which, until that instant, I had not realized had been the case for Lady Tiana.
As a young woman of fifteen in my world’s years, a mere twelve in the years of this world, Lady Tiana had faced the enemy army in the battlefield. She only carried a junior rank and thought of herself as the least of her peers, but the memory that had accompanied her dislike of nobility using their noble rank to upset the military order had been harsh and bloody.
When a baron decided to send his personally-loyal soldiers forward instead of holding the position to which they were assigned, ignoring the orders of the commoner colonel whom the general had charged him to follow, Tiana and the small detail of Royal Army soldiers under her leadership had been left defending that ground on their own. They were not under the baron’s command, and she wisely refused to support him, drawing his ire.
After his troops were decimated by the ruse that had drawn them out, it fell to her small squad to defend both the ground she was to hold and the ground which he had abandoned.
It was too wide a gap for her warriors to defend. She had managed to do so largely due to her personal might as a very immature fairy warrior, while she somehow continued to send guidance to the few under her command.
When she was at last relieved, not a single warrior, including herself, had escaped without injury. By sheer grace of the gods, she had only lost two men out of her ten, and had held her position. But the baron, who had managed to escape death or capture, attempted to place the blame for both his losses and hers upon her for not following and supporting him.
Fortunately, when he tried to use that as his defense at his court-martial, the general holding the trial commended Lady Tiana’s decision and convicted him. But the only punishment he could receive was losing his rank in the army and being sent home. The aftermath had the effect of isolating her and souring her war experience.
It’s hard to explain, but her brief remembrance while she was in front of the colonel came to me in far less time than it takes to write it or read it. In a flash, I recalled the entire event, and the shock hit me like a physical blow.
And thus, in a single instant, Lady Tiana became an existence that much more inexplicable to me, and that much more distressing. The image of a woman marching to war, the thought of a maiden of such tender years standing shoulder to shoulder with soldiers in bloody combat, the memory of fighting with the fearsome power that the fantastic ‘fairy warriors’ of this strange world can wield, wielding the strength of a dozen men at arms, then suffering the anxiety of false accusation and vicious rumors. I at last understood both how inhuman and how fragile this young woman was.
Dear Goddess Rhea who has placed me in this strange role, I don’t know if I can truly carry out this task. Is this woman whom you claim to be my newer self, to be my current life, a being I can ever pretend to understand?
§
While Lieutenant Theobald led us through the camp to the post-surgical tents, I leaned close to Mireia and spoke in a low voice.
“Mir, what was that? I’ve never heard of level three Healing magic!”
Healing magic is nearly all level one spells, with a few techniques that are actually the same level one spells, but executed at a sufficient power to require technique and control that elevates them to the ‘level two’ form of Healing magic.
Level three? No such thing. Or so I thought.
She looked at me with a slightly apologetic smile and said, “Neither have I, My Lady.”
“What? But…”
“My goddess suddenly spoke to me. She taught me the chant and guided me through casting the spell. I was literally learning it as you watched.”
That, I didn’t expect. I quickly asked, <Lydia, was Rhea telling you to have Mirea cast that spell?>
I almost could feel Lydia shaking her non-existent head. <My Lady, if it was the goddess’s plan from the start, she would have told Mireia directly, would she not?>
Oh. That’s right, isn’t it?
<Just like you, I don’t have the ability to hear the goddess while we are awake. It was my idea only to cast [Restoration] on some of the soldiers. When the goddess intervened with Mireia, it was as unexpected for me as it was for you..>
I nodded, forgetting that I was having a conversation inaudible to the people walking with me.
“My Lady?” Mireia asked me, curious why I seemed to be reacting to a conversation she did not hear.
Shaking my head, I said, “It’s nothing.”
Now, I had an explanation for the mysterious ‘cocoon’ that surrounded and protected me from the Healing mana pouring out through Mireia during the [Area Restoration] spell . The goddess had used a divine power to prevent the spell from reaching me and my babies.
“Well, then, I have a question for you, My Lady,” Mireia declared. “Why did you suddenly decide to pressure Rod into letting us come here?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
She gave me the cutest little scowl. Seriously, Mireia is too sweet to look genuinely upset.
“You had just stated, ‘no we mustn’t leave the castle’, then suddenly went to Rod to insist that we do it. I’ve never seen you flip-flop that fast.”
Yes, it had indeed been quite a blatant and sudden reversal, and I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t.
<I should have asked you a bit later, to give the appearance you reconsidered after some time,> Lydia mused.
Did I want to admit to Mireia I had a voice in my head, telling me what to do? She was a kindred spirit in that regard, although in her case, the voice was her goddess.
But then I thought of the perfect reason.
“I was bothered when I heard myself say ‘my husband doesn’t want it’. It wasn’t a proper reason, and once I thought for myself, I realized we should do it.”
It was a fib, but it made sense, right? And in retrospect, I was being entirely too passive with that whole ‘my husband doesn’t want’ thing. Growing up, I’d received a lot of indoctrination from the court ladies in Atius covering proper behavior for a noble wife, and I had just realized it had actually crept into my personality at some point.
I may be inactive, but I’m a reserve royal knight, and I may be inexperienced, but I’m the Heiress of the Duchy, and the Acting Duchess. Rod is my partner, not my lord and master.
Had those preaching court ladies been trying to counter the bad influence of my mother? Perhaps. But it wasn’t appropriate for a fairy or a vampire, nor was it appropriate for a woman in my position now.
<I have to confess, I don’t understand you. It seems perfectly natural to me that, as his wife…>
<I don’t have the luxury of being a traditional wife,> I interrupted her. <I am Acting Duchess. Millions of my people are depending upon me as their ruler.>
Somehow, my response reversed Lydia’s thoughts instantly. And I gathered it was because of all the things she saw in my mind as I responded. Our conversations can be odd.
And another explanation for my discontentment also came to me. Somewhere, deep down inside, I truly believed women should choose their own way. Maybe it was my fairy mother’s influence, but Lydia’s life as a hetaira, the pride of Dana and her fellow courtesans, the example of long-widowed Elianora pursuing her career as a physician, and my observations of Amana, and adventurers like Melione and Ceria… I felt for sure that these were how a woman should be.
If she’s a wife, then she is an equal leader of the family, not her husband’s underling.
And that thought led me to a vague recollection of a family, and the woman who led it without a husband. No, it was more like she appeared from somewhere deep in my heart. A woman with a sassy grin and a strong heart, raising three children by herself… Where did I know her from? I couldn’t remember. I just felt sure that this Jennifer never relied upon a husband while raising her children.
She had to, because she had no husband. But if she ever did, I think she would have chosen a partner to back her up, not a superior.
In my anxiety upon suddenly becoming a wife and suddenly becoming Acting Duchess, my apprehensive side had been willing to toss everything on Rod’s shoulders. Fortunately, enough of me had known better and resisted the urge so far.
I would have to police my behavior more carefully from now on. I almost slipped into a very bad habit.
As I found myself at that point in my thoughts, we arrived at the postoperative ward at last.
We entered to sights, smells and sounds of suffering and an appalling fog-like gloom. The tent, or rather tents, as they appeared to have set up a series of them in a row, front to back, was enormous. Three paces wide and at least nine long. Rows of beds lined both sides of, and every single bed held a patient.
I knew the gloom part immediately, but only someone with my [Fairy Sight] should be able to do so. Even so, I heard the sharp hiss of Mireia sucking in her breath. Some sense of hers was matching my fairy skill.
“My Lady…” she whispered.
“Yes,” I agreed. “Miasma. A lot of it.”
I raised my voice to address Theobald. “Introduce us to whoever is in charge, then go get priests or healers specialized in [Purification]”
“Milady, I can…”
I cut Mireia off while watching Theobald go to a nurse. “We should save you for serious injuries and postoperative fevers, Mir. The normal people should handle this.”
“My Lady,” Theobald called after a bit and we went to join him. On our arrival, he stated, “This is Nurse Avel. She is in charge of the ward. She says no priest or healer is going to be available.”
‘Nurse’, no rank, meaning this was one of the many civilian volunteers. She was a severe looking, matronly woman with skin like pleasantly dark mahogany. An ‘old Dorian’ complexion, they call it. She looked a little miffed with the unwanted invasion of her territory.
I sighed and nodded. I told Mireia, “We’ll rely on you, then.”
“Might I ask why they are needed?” Avel asked.
“This ward has become flooded with miasma. I imagine you’ve had a number of soldiers pass away in the last few weeks?”
Although this had to be a bit more than that. Those who had died included several who had been cursed. Not unlikely, given the attack on Narses had involved demonic enemies. The previous purifications had not fully purged the presence.
She nodded. “We have. But we’ve had priests in to purify the ward twice.”
“It’s still badly overdue,” I stated. “I’m afraid they didn’t fully rid the ward of it.”
“Um, might I ask you who you dear guests are, My Lady?”
I shot Theobald a dark look. He colored and quickly introduced us, naturally leaving her flabbergasted.
After borrowing my fan again and asking me to step outside, Mireia cast a broad [Purification] spell through the interior of the tent. Again, I felt the spell, and the flow of Healing mana pouring through my channel, but nothing coming into my body and mana pathways. It was all diverted to Mireia.
With the miasma cleared, Genette and I returned and followed Mireia from bed to bed as she spent time on individuals who needed her help, while I wondered why Lydia had me come along. As expected, I was just a spectator here.
Programming Note: Although I’m resuming a two chapter per week schedule, I’m taking the long weekend (US holiday), so I won’t unlock another chapter until next Saturday. It will be Tuesdays and Saturdays after that.
