The soft click of the lighter in Kai’s hand in the underground corridor sounded deafening, echoing in the far corners of the forking tunnels. He froze, listened – they continued to bomb from the top. Plaster because of the explosion above was hailing from the ceiling and falling on his shoulder. A distant explosion, muffled by the thickness of the earth, sounded, echoing in the underground corridors. Kai shuddered and brought the flame of the lighter to the cigarette. He didn’t want to smoke – he wanted to conceal with the smoke of a cigarette this smell, which pervaded the entire underground space around. The smell of human bodies – sick bodies that were everywhere here. In poorly ventilated underground corridors, where there were depressing heat and humidity from the condensation flowing down the walls, the smell of sick people intensified a hundredfold.
Kai took a drag, only the cigarettes muffled constant nausea inside. From another explosion from above, the faint lights in the corridor blinked, went out, and then flashed again, illuminating with their dim light the dirty, shabby corridors of the underground bunker.
He shook off the plaster that had been crumbling down from the top of his medical gown which wasn’t already white and inhaled again, knowing that the brief moment of smoking he allowed himself was an almost impermissible luxury in such conditions. But he was not made of iron, he could barely stand it all, or rather, he had long been ready to flee from here – from these wounded people lying everywhere, their cries, groans, from this horror around him. Sometimes he just wanted to rise to the surface, let him get killed there, but it would be there – above, where there would be fresh air, sun, and sky.
“How weak I am that I am ready to end everything like this,” thought Kai, realizing that he could no longer be here, “no, I will not allow myself to do that.”
Kai put out his cigarette and walked down the corridor towards the iron doors leading to the operating room. There, on the operating table, another man crippled by the war was waiting for him. It was good that he wouldn’t see his face – the nurses had already screened his face off. How good that now he was only assisting the doctor – although, who cared who would cut living flesh? After all, he would still hear these screams and see this pain.
He froze for a second in front of the door, and then, turning the knob, stepped inside.
In the middle of the operating room, there was a table on which a wounded man was lying. His arms and legs were tied tightly with straps. Two muscular assistants in off-white robes stood side by side, ready to use their strength to keep the man on the table at any moment. After all, the painkillers were practically out, and they had to operate without them.
“Where are you hanging?” Vladimir Viktorovich asked wearily, looking at Kai washing his hands with an antiseptic, “Though, okay, don’t say, you also need rest.” He looked sad, fatherly at Kai.
Vladimir Viktorovich was already over sixty, he had gray hair, a neat gray beard, and the same gray mustache. Despite his age, he was still in excellent physical shape and could carry out many hours of operations without leaving the operating table. He treated Kai with a fatherly harsh attitude. Although Kai knew that in his heart he loved him, almost like his son, who died here in the war many years ago. Having lost everything, Vladimir Viktorovich remained here, exhausting himself with work for wear and thus forgetting about his irreplaceable loss.
“We have a shrapnel in the thigh today,” the doctor explained briefly.
Kai carefully examined the X-rays, where it was visible that the wounded man had a fragment in his thigh. He understood that this was a very difficult and very painful operation.
Kai raised his eyes and faced the gaze of Vladimir Viktorovich.
“He has been injected with one ampoule, now it will begin to act. We don’t have much time.”
They understood each other without words. Vladimir Viktorovich understood what Kai wanted to ask, and answered this question himself. It was easy for them to work together when a nod of the head, turn, a movement was enough – and they understood each other.
Vladimir Viktorovich was glad that Kai was assisting him in these operations. When he used to drop with fatigue, and the flow of the wounded did not subside and they brought more and more, then Kai replaced him.
As much as Kai wanted it, he had no choice now. People were dying. His choice was either to help them or to watch them, bleeding, writhe, lying in long corridors, since there was no more room in the wards.
Kai did only the simplest operations, the doctor took care of all the difficult ones. All this went on for the second week after Vladimir Viktorovich’s assistant was killed and the doctor was left without an assistant. His assistant fell under the bombardment when he was helping another wounded man – part of the house collapsed on them. They were buried there. Now it was not even possible to get their bodies out of the rubble.
These two weeks of hell and nightmare. Above, there were unceasing bombings, and below, in underground bunkers, people were hiding from them. Sometimes Kai could not stand it and wanted to go there, into the air, even if there was death everywhere, but here death was slow and painful. The wounded were brought here from everywhere. These were the soldiers who held the defense of the city and the local population that still remained in this city, which now fell under the general massacre.
Zeros is an ancient city. It has always been here, archaeologists found it difficult to say the year of its origin. This city has survived all – all wars of all centuries and times, all governors and rulers. Kai did not doubt that this city would survive everything that people had been doing with it now.
The city was huge, stretching both above and below the ground. Nobody knew its ancient labyrinths to the end. It was easier to finish building new ones than to delve into the location of the old tunnels, which, according to legend, led to hell itself.
In peacetime, the city was restored and equipped with the modern benefits of civilization, and then everything was destroyed again. Probably, this was the eternal fate of this city.
Their hospital was located in an underground bunker connected to ancient passages and corridors leading nowhere. On the ground, above them, the main hospital building was located, but it was practically destroyed, but everything underground could survive the “end of the world”, as everything had been done reliably and for centuries.
***
The operation ended, Kai took off his disposable gloves and washed his hands once more under a thin stream of water, trying to wash off the physical pain of the person whom they were operating on alive. Kai knew this patient would not survive. The wound was deep and began to inflame. There were practically no medicines left. The city was under siege – those rare breakthroughs of soldiers with meager packages of medicines were nothing compared to such a volume of wounded and people in need of help. And, of course, the heat, which helped kill even those who might have survived. It seemed that the heat of the sun penetrated through the thickness of the earth and warmed up everything that was hidden from it.
Vladimir Viktorovich also knew the fate of today’s patient. He went up to Kai, put his hand on Kai’s shoulder, squeezing him slightly, thereby saying that he understood everything but was not omnipotent and they did what they had to do, and then, if no medicine was received, the patient would die, slowly and painfully …
“Will you watch instead of me?” looking into Kai’s eyes, asked Vladimir Viktorovich, “I’ll go get some sleep.”
Kai nodded his head affirmatively seeing as the doctor walked staggering from accumulated fatigue towards the room where they took turns sleeping, replacing each other.
After asking the nurse who was next, he got into the work. It was good that no one had come down from the ground yet. Only those who were here and these wounded only needed to examine and treat their wounds and change the bandages. He did this work almost mechanically because he had a good medical practice. From the very beginning of his work for the special services, he was trained in this and, seeing his talent for medicine, contributed to a more expanded knowledge in this area. He was trained with the best military surgeons, although it was an accelerated special course, but such knowledge was quite enough for carrying out simple operations and, especially, for bandaging the wounded. Then, he improved his knowledge in the field of medicine himself, reading a lot from this area, but, as it turned out, after his stay in Afghanistan, he had enough practice.
And now, even though he came to this city with a completely different mission, by the will of fate he had to again apply his knowledge.
Arriving in Zeros was his next assignment from the center. He took the data from the courier and successfully forwarded it to the center, and then it turned out that the city was taken into a ring and all roads leading out of it were blocked. The bombing of all living things began. He miraculously made it to this hospital, knowing that beneath it was a network of bunkers. He went down there in his jeep.
Kai knew Vladimir Viktorovich for a long time. The old man was very happy with him, but did not ask for his help: then the assistant was still alive, and the flow of the wounded was not yet so large. And after that everything started spinning. There was incessant bombing, death of the assistant, lack of medicine, and complete hopelessness of those who had remained in this dungeon with a faint hope that the blockade would be broken and the city would remain unoccupied.
Seeing all this, Kai could not stay away, he began to help with the wounded, and then replaced the assistant Vladimir Viktorovich. They did not even discuss this with the doctor, just Kai stood at the operating table and began to assist him in carrying out operations.
This had been going on for two weeks.
Here it was practically impossible to get online, there was very little information. But there seemed to be a hope that the defense would soon be broken through. But when?
How many hours had passed since Vladimir Viktorovich went to bed, Kai did not know. He only realized that the doctor had returned and was ready to replace him.
“Go and sleep now,” seeing the tired Kai standing at the dressing table, said the doctor, “Go, go, I can handle it. If there is something difficult, they will wake you up.”
Kai went to their room. It was a treatment room. The room had a medical table, a chair, and a couch, and even here there was a small shower with a thin trickle of lukewarm water. They took turns sleeping on the medical couch. Kai thought about the shower but realized that he just wanted to lie down and sleep. Now he didn’t care that he was wet with sweat and had washed a few days ago. What difference does it make if you only have enough strength to collapse like this and disconnect from everything?
The couch was narrow and stiff, under his head lay a rolled-up robe instead of a pillow, with another robe he was covered from above.
Strange, distant memories came back to him again.
“Are you able to feel at all?!” he again heard this voice.
“No, Toyami, I haven’t felt anything for a long time. Otherwise, I would have lost my mind.”
It had been a long time since his trip with Toyami. After that, they did not see each other. Kai had enough to do in the garrison. There were regular military trips, in which he participated. It seemed; his life went on as usual. But only that was not so, something had changed in him. He forbade himself to think about it, fled from memories and thoughts. He was glad when work absorbed him completely, and in the evenings he fell from fatigue and immediately fell asleep. But his memory found loopholes in his life schedule, and then he remembered, remembered him: his eyes, words, hands …
Kai drove it away from himself, tried not to think, to forget. But he couldn’t!
It seemed to him that even now he felt his touch to himself, the breath on his cheek, and then this kiss, from which everything darkened in his eyes.
Here and again his memory lay in wait for him and pounced, tormenting with these recollections.
But all this time he was struggling with himself. He fought against what Toyami had awakened in him. He hated himself for his weakness, for the seconds he just allowed himself to feel. It was an unforgivable luxury to allow yourself to feel. He had no right to do so. Only by removing all emotions, all sensations, it was possible to live the life that he was doomed to.
Kai hated himself for his weakness, despised himself for what he then felt from the touch of this man. All this time, he fought with himself, removing these memories from his memory and forcing himself to take his emotions under tight control.
“Are you able to feel at all?!”
It sounded like a curse in his brain. He knew that he had no right to feel anything, he had no right to allow himself to lose control, to allow himself emotions.
But most importantly, he had no right to feelings that were abhorred by his world, his life, his friends – everything that he valued and that was unshakable and inviolable for him.
He knew that he could overcome this weakness in himself. He was strong, and this fleeting madness would not happen again. This person meant nothing in his life. Nothing!
So, convincing himself of this, Kai fell asleep.
***
“Get up! They broke through the defense! The city is free!”
Vladimir Viktorovich was shaking sleepy Kai by the shoulders.
Waking up from this news, Kai jumped off the couch and followed the doctor in the operating room, asking the details of everything on the go.
This was very good news. Several teams of doctors were on the way to them, carrying the necessary medicines, and soon helicopters would arrive to take those who were ready for transportation to hospitals.
Kai realized that he could go! This was the most important and the best news for him.
After shaking hands with the doctor and warm hugs, he said he was leaving immediately. The doctor did not dissuade him, realizing that this was not in his competence.
Kai returned to their room, having previously grabbed a clean uniform from the jeep, and got into the shower. Although it was hot, the water was slightly warm. He hated cold water. It was torture for him, but it would be even more torture not to wash off this accumulated dirt.
He washed off all this horror of the last two weeks, pain, blood, death.
Leaving the underground bunker, he realized that it was night outside. For him, these two weeks merged into one nightmare, and he could no longer distinguish when it was day, when it was night, there, in the dungeon, it didn’t matter.
Kai drove forward, away from this place, hoping that he could get away from himself, but realized that he was unlikely to succeed – he began to be covered with everything that had been during these two weeks …
It rained, although rains are rare here. It was dark. He drove along a winding mountain road. Water flooded the windshield, the wipers worked, but could not cope with the flow of water. Headlights snatched the wet road out of the darkness.
Now he was in no hurry – it was not because of the rain and poor visibility. His thoughts were far from the road. He thought, or rather, tried to banish constant emerging memories from himself. This was hard. There was a cry of a man in his ears, a cry of pain when a scalpel in his hand was cutting the living flesh of a man who was screaming, and before the eyes, he saw the body lying and writhing with pain, which he was cutting. Thoughts in his head were constantly replaying what had happened during those two weeks, and the realization of his guilt in the pain inflicted on those people finally dispirited him.
That little excuse for himself that he did it for the sake of their salvation did not alleviate his mental suffering. He understood that he had been hurting people, and it tormented him.
“Who cares, what is it for their lives? To those people whom I operated on without anesthesia?” he asked himself this question and knew the answer to it.
So he drove half-delirious, no longer understanding where the reality, where the visions. There was a wet road in front of him or bloody white sheets …
The headlights blinded him, Kai turned the steering wheel sharply to the right, forgetting that it was a narrow mountain road and a cliff to the right. His car at full speed flew into a rocky embankment and miraculously got stuck in a suspended state over a cliff.
This brought Kai to his senses, he realized that his car was half hanging over the cliff and the slightest movement or imbalance would cause it to fall.
***
“Mr. Izoa, the car can fall into the abyss at any moment, what is your order?” asked assistant of Izoa to his boss. They were standing on the side of Kai’s car and watching this picture.
“Get the driver out, let’s see who it is, maybe someone valuable is caught,” said Izoa, remaining standing still and watching the heavy jeep hovering over the abyss swaying mesmerizingly.
Since the redeployment of troops had taken place, his lord Toyami Takeru’s detachment camped on the mountain plateau up the road. Everyone knew that this road was controlled by Mr. Takeru. Therefore, Izoa was even interested to see who it was in such an expensive car, who was not in the know, or, on the contrary, purposefully drove here and for what?
Kunayo, Izoa’s assistant, ordered a cable to be pulled over the jeep’s hitch while giving clear instructions that as soon as the car was pulled back onto solid ground, the soldiers would open the door and pull the driver out before he came to his senses and began to resist … He warned that the driver was still needed alive.
The fact that there was only one person in the car was visible under the headlights that pierced the car through and through.
If it weren’t for the flashbacks of these weeks in Kai’s mind, he would have jumped out of the car long ago and fought those he saw standing on the road in the side mirror and rearview mirror.
But his condition was now not for fighting. While he was trying to concentrate and decide what to do, there was a sharp jolt, and the car was on the road, at the same time all doors opened, and he was rather roughly pulled out by many hands from behind the driver’s seat.
Kai was brought to his knees in front of Mr. Izoa, his arms were twisted back and handcuffed.
The rain subsided a little, Kai felt sobering trickles of cold water on his face. And he realized how stupid he had been caught. What was he just thinking?!
Izoa couldn’t believe his eyes that Kai was in front of him.
“Lift him,” Izoa stepped closer and looked into the face of the prisoner who was being held on both sides by his soldiers.
Yes, it’s Kai! This exquisitely beautiful face and expressive eyes, which even in the night shimmered with a green light in the headlights.
“Strange, why was he so stupidly caught? And in other respects, what’s the difference! It is incredible luck to present to my master what he has longed for – Kai. “
“The handcuffs cannot be removed, but neatly – this is a very valuable person for Mr. Takeru. Put him in my car, we’re going to the camp right now, and take Kai’s car,” Izoa ordered, continuing to look at Kai.
Kai was put into Izoa’s car in the back seat between two soldiers and they started.
Sitting in the front of the car, Izoa turned the mirror so that he could see Kai’s face in it without turning.
“Strange – you are caught …”
“Hello, Izoa. Where are we going?” Kai asked, looking into Izoa’s eyes through the mirror.
This look made Izoa uncomfortable:
“These eyes there is pain and confusion in them, it is not a mistake, and also there is a pain in this calm, quiet voice, what has happened to Kai?”
“We’re going to see Mr. Toyami Takeru,” Izoa replied.
“Not now!” mentally exclaimed Kai, and he even winced at such news.
“Is he here?”
“You didn`t know? We have been camp here for a long time, now this is our territory. And we don’t seem to be very friendly with you now,” Izoa realized from Kaya’s face that this was news for him, “But where have you been, that you are not aware of all this?”
“Izoa, can you just shoot me? May I ask you as a samurai for such a favor?”
“Kai, I would not like to ever take your life at all, even if we meet in battle, and, moreover, to take your life as a prisoner whose hands are tied,” Izoa said this sincerely, he respected Kai as a warrior, and now it was pleasant for him to communicate with him even in such not quite favorable circumstances for Kai. Rather, very unfavorable. He could feel Kai’s pleading eyes on him.
But he serves Tucker, and it was his personal secret order to him, his faithful servant: to catch Kai. For what – Izoa perfectly guessed.
Their strange relationship, or rather, this madness that gripped his lord Toyami, was unacceptable to Izoa, despite the fact that he was a warrior of the Sendai clan, it was an ancient clan where relationships between men were the basis of a warrior’s life. He himself rejected it.
Now Kai’s request touched him, but the duty to his master was above all, and he would take Kai to Toyami.
Kai realized that Izoa would not talk anymore and much less do anything. There was no salvation. He leaned back against the rear seat headrest. Damp hair fell over his face.
Izoa saw Kai’s aristocratic features in the mirror and understood why Toyami had completely gone crazy – Kai was the ideal of a warrior. Communication with such a warrior is the highest pleasure of the soul and body.
Izoa chuckled – only Kai would not go for it. So Toyami was doomed to eternal suffering …
Kai, realizing that he got into a precious mess, and by his own stupidity, simply allowed himself to go into emotions instead of delving into the military situation that developed during his absence. And now he was going straight to Toyami.
“Here’s a good gift I’ve presented him – myself, – Kai winced again, – just not now!” Not now when he felt so bad when he had not yet come to his senses after two weeks of this horror when there was a cry of a person tormented by pain in his ears. And right now he would also see Toyami with all his insane delusions and harassment!
The car stopped, the soldiers pulled Kai out and led him to a huge tent.
“What a big camp,” flashed through his head, “and when did they manage to set it all up here? Oh, yes, I have been cutting people for two weeks … Why do I remember this again? … If only for a second, I could forget everything …”
