Slowly…slowly, closer, closer, through the mist, through the sunlight, and with the morning mist, Fu Yusheng finally found his wife whom he had been persistent in looking for more than 20 years and had still never given up on searching for.
But it was not his living wife but a cold tombstone.
Fu Yusheng approached the tomb of his deceased wife and finally saw his wife, the black and white photo of his deceased wife… Seeing her unfading smile, hearing her beautiful voice, but they were worlds apart.
“Thump……”
More than 20 years later, Fu Yusheng saw his wife; he kneeled down directly, his knees slammed on the bluestone. Even if it hurt so much, it didn’t hurt as much as the pain he felt in his heart.
“The tomb of martyr Sun Xueqing…”
Fu Yusheng read softly. It turned out that his deceased wife was not named “Hong Mei.” She was the same as his comrades… They all had their own codenames. The name in their marriage certificate was written “Hong Mei,” though.
The red plum brought the snow, and the sky was bright again after the snow passed. (TLN: This sentence makes more sense in Chinese. “The Hong Mei (red plum) brought the Xue (snow) and the Qing (bright day) was bright again after the Xue (snow) passed,” and that’s how the Xueqing in Sun Xueqing comes from, and also indicating how Hong Mei is Xue Qing.) It turned out that Sun Xueqing was his deceased wife’s real name, yet he thought he knew her real name for more than 20 years.
“Hong Mei…Xue Qing, I’m here, Yu Sheng is here, I’m here to see you… Xue Qing, Yu Sheng is here to see you…”
This kneeling had exhausted this iron-boned man’s strength; this kneeling broke his obsession for more than 20 years.
His wife, his lover… couldn’t wait for his return. She didn’t manage to wait for the man named “Fu Yusheng” to bring her home.
Fu Yusheng’s fingers that were no longer young and already had calluses lightly touched Martyr Sun Xueqing’s photo. In the photo, Martyr Sun Xueqing smiled like a flower, always maintaining her twenties beauty. The corners of her mouth were slightly bent, showing a beautiful and gentle smile.
Fu Yusheng loved her smile; it was beautiful and intoxicating, making his heart feel sweet.
His mind had always been filled with his wife’s smile when he was young. He always remembered the image of his wife standing between the green mountains and clear waters, under the blue sky and white clouds. She was dressed in a loose military uniform with a dark brown belt tight around her waist. It was an old-fashioned military uniform. Her short hair was tied with rubber bands behind her ears. She waved at him as she walked.
“Yu Sheng, Yu Sheng… Fu Yusheng, I am here, I am here…”
She said she was here, but every time he looked back…she was not around, she was not around, his wife, his lover was not there. He could only hear her smile, as crisp as a bird in the woods crying in the morning, echoing in his ears…
Smile, come on, smile, Yu-Sheng… Yu Sheng, I’m here… I’m here…
She said she was here, but he always couldn’t find her, he couldn’t find her, he lost her… he lost her…
Fu Yusheng hugged the cold tombstone tightly like he was hugging a living person until the veins of his hands were exposed, “Hong Mei… Xue Qing, I can’t find you; you said you are here, but I couldn’t find you no matter how I looked for you in my dreams…”
In his dream,… Fu Yusheng always had the same dream. In the dream, his wife was calling his name, “Yu Sheng, Yu Sheng!” behind him, but whenever he turned his head back, he couldn’t see her; he could only hear her laughter in his ears. There was always a thick fog around him, and no matter how he looked, how he ran, her voice only came into his ears, sometimes loud, sometimes soft, as if she was sometimes near his ears, but sometimes very far away… No matter how he searched, he could never find his wife.
“Hong Mei, I have been thinking of you for more than 20 years. I keep thinking of you, thinking that you must hate me for losing my way, hate me for leaving you without a word, hate me for breaking our promise… That’s why you hide away from me and are unwilling to see me…….”
