Chapter 254 – The heart laden with worries must pine not (2)

“A… drink?”

An Fei’s disoriented mind could only dully repeat the words uttered by the calm youth with golden irises. The young girl’s right index finger traced the outlines of her lower lip, her mouth and heart equally pining for a breath of indulgence.

Speaking of drinks, she did have a large quantity of rice wine left over in the medicinal garden of the first corridor… however!

“Why… must I drink with you?”

The young girl steeled her heart as she squinted her eyes towards the golden-haired youth.

As she carefully scrutinized the pristine and spotless youth’s appearance and expressions for any disturbing indicators, An Fei thought that the youth with violet hair stumbled headlong into the wooden counter the moment she spoke.

“Why must the Young Miss not drink?” the youth tilted his head in confusion, before reaching out to grasp an empty wooden cup.

“We are equally lonely wanderers of the jianghu; there must be a moment of which we allow our weary hearts to relax. Young Miss, could it be that you do not walk the path in which you seem to be detached from the rest of the world?”

The words were uttered in a smooth and uninterrupted voice, the melodious tone brushing against the young girl’s earlobes and subconsciously loosening the tension in her arms.

An Fei blinked successively as she pondered about the youth’s suggestion, ultimately arriving upon an interesting subject.

How… did he manage to capture her emotions so perfectly in such an ordinary sentence?

An Fei was indeed feeling quite considerably lonely.

So lonely to that extent that if she dared to immerse herself in silence and tranquility outside of the Sanctum, the negative emotions instilled into her soul from her previous experiences would overcome her psyche without trouble.

If she couldn’t steel her emotions and restrain herself, the trauma and its sinister consequences would manifest – just like they had a few moments ago.

The young girl walked a thin tightrope that tethered her existence to the world.

After all, what other description could fit her current circumstance than the words of loneliness?

The Sanctum forced her to become naturally aversive and susceptible to any artefact, food or drink, martial arts technique, or even direct contact with the mortal world’s spiritual essence. Although the converse was equally true, the divergence was cruel to the heart.

A mere touch would incur a serious bruise gloating in its violet inflammation, whilst prolonged contact could claim her life.

Who could live without lowering their sense of caution for the slightest moment?

If that was not sufficient enough to manifest of her worries, An Fei found herself unable to trust anyone.

Her heart remained tightly sealed upon her entry into the Shattered Star Continent; quietly musing upon its own distorted perspective of the world, not daring to allow itself to receive harm in any circumstance.

Other than Wei Xuan – her new father – of whom she had cried her heart to, not even Shen Ming Yue’s sisterly actions escaped the lambaste that was known as suspicion.

They were her biggest flaws, as well as the sole reasons that she remained alive to this day. Alas…

How could she refute the words of the golden-haired youth?

The words of loneliness struck deeply into her hollowed heart, and An Fei lurched forwards to grasp the extended cup from the youth’s hands.

The young girl was quickly seated between the two youths at the wooden counter, and she watched the silent barkeeper fill the cups with a clear liquid that reeked with the distinctive scent of liquor.

The smell was slightly pungent and carried the faint taste of agave – mild, but with the underlying touch of bittersweet sentiments.

The taste and texture resembled that of tequila, an experience that the young girl had only heard about from the whimsical words of her grandfather.

Whilst mulling over the taste and selectively comparing it to the rice wine that she had brewed in the medicine garden, An Fei heard the young man with golden hair clear his throat.

“I – I come from the western slopes and mountains!” the youth cried with a melancholy voice.

“At birth, called the pride of heaven! At the age of five, called a genius. Ten, a talent; fifteen, a gifted scholar. Now? Hmph, if they would call me ordinary, that would be a praise!”

“So what if I cannot uphold the clan’s mandates?”

The golden-haired youth swallowed another cup’s worth of liquor in a single gulp, slamming the cup onto the table with an audible sigh. Towards her right, the young girl thought she witnessed the violet-haired youth stagger towards the counter once more, but…

“Screw the principalities of the Golden Crow! Just because one attribute wasn’t matched with the clan’s desires, I was cast from the sky to crawl amongst the earth!” the youth downed cup after cup with an accelerated pace.

“I have the – the strength! The knowledge and experience! But no… the heavens do not wish for my acknowledgement, they do not appreciate my diligent efforts!”

“Ah…”

The golden youth swayed from his seat, nearly tumbling onto the floor with his wooden cup still clenched in his hand.

An Fei quickly reached out to stabilize his body, only to notice that the violet-haired youth actually pitched forwards to slump into a dead-asleep heap on the countertop.

“Ah, ah, ah… that hero has such a tragic tale, much more than mine as a deposed Young Master.”

An Fei’s eyes briefly flickered upon the introduction that flew from the ‘incapacitated’ drunk youth. Her mind subconsciously ignoring the fact that the staggering, half-collapsed youth could still articulate words with astonishing clarity due to either her distracted mood or a foreign influence, the young girl drained another cup of the liquor that highly resembled that of tequila.

Each sip brought forth a sustained flow of warmth to coarse around the inner crevices of her body; washing away at a portion of her suppressed stress, as well as chipping at her bulwark of negative emotions.

“That hero… he lived the proper life of a Young Master,” the youth with golden hair sang with a tipsy voice.

“Excellent Master, excellent resources, excellent upbringing, the only matter he couldn’t choose was the future of his life.”

“The… th – hic! – fushture of hish life?”

The first sentence that escaped the young girl’s lips was strangely distorted, as though she were speaking from the inside of a fishbowl. An Fei prodded at her lips in confusion, yet the cruel dice of fate had been set.

There wasn’t any heading back for the young girl who had successfully intoxicated herself over two cups of tequila.

“Indeed… indeed, ah. That hero poured in so many hours of his life diligently living the path prescribed to him by his Master to carve his own future, only to be told at the last moment that his future has already been decided,” the golden-haired youth’s body trembled as he continued to sing.

“A marriage under the watchful eyes of the heavens, they said! And a marriage unmatched in its spectacularism indeed – for the heavens decided to pair a divine Young Master with a mortal girl from the depths of the desolate world!”

“Shurel – hic! -y, it washn’t too… too bad?” the young girl commented with half-lidded eyes.

“The heavensh… the heavensh alwaysh lea- hic! – ve a path for the mighty…”

An Fei successfully collapsed onto the wooden counter, her head resting against the soft crevice of her elbow. The young girl lolled the wooden cup with her right hand, the blurred vision and euphoric rush coursing through her heart rubbing at the base of her throat.

“The world… the world hatesh me…”

Compared to the youth’s words that were suffused with a bewitching elegance and somber tone, the young girl’s whispers were harsh and unrefined. Compared to the golden-haired youth who could cause a person’s heart to quiver, An Fei’s drunken lull merely caused her chaotic mind to unravel itself even further.

“My family… wantsh – hic! – me dead, my compan – hic! Hic! – ions are traitors, the world wantsh my – hic! – head… how… how lonely!”

“How lonely! My heart has no so… solace, my soul finds no rest, my mind has none to converse with!” the young girl’s scarlet irises revealed a clouded mist.

“I – I – I… I did – hic! – n’t want thish! I… I didn’t ashk for this!”

So, why?

The final question buried itself below her tongue before her throat could spit it out, and the young girl downed a final cup of liquor in her intoxicated haze. An Fei abruptly rose to sway in her seat, her mind suddenly confined within an invisible, impenetrable barrier.

It was dark, narrow, and oddly comforting…

“The heart laden with worries must pine not.”

The gentle words brushed against the tips of her ears, the golden-haired youth’s voice warming the depths of the young girl’s soul. As An Fei’s rhythmic breathing eased into one that was heavily stricken with an alcoholic slumber, her lips soundlessly repeated the words with unprecedented accuracy.

The heart laden with worries must pine not.

An interesting phrase.

“Ah…”

Having confirmed that the young girl had actually drunken herself to sleep, the golden-haired youth shook his head as an audible sigh escaped his lips. Stretching his back with a long exhale, Jun Mo turned towards the violet-haired youth who had slumped onto the countertop since the beginning.

“Alas, Elder Brother, your method of courting women is strangely lackluster, ah. Are you sure this will really work?”

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