Entry 16

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15th July, XXXX

I have not seen Felicity and Lucien from that day on. I stayed in bed for a few days to recover from the repercussion. So I hope they were just here for sight-seeing. 

Prince Lucien of Edehan was driven out of the country by Lord Astor last year. After that he came to Arerin and asked King Louis for help. Prince Lucien claimed that he was related to the royal family of Arerin and they should help him reclaim his country. 

King Louis refused of course. 

Related? All royal families are related in some way or the other. Help? That means going to war. Why should my country go to war to help you reclaim your country? King Louis politely suggested (former) Prince Lucien to go travelling. Go and look at different parts of the world. And more importantly, do not stay in our capital. Who knows what others will think? 

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Prince Lucien was very unhappy and angry. And very luckily (no matter how much I do not like the word luck, it is the most suitable word to be used here), Felicity was not by Lucien’s side when he came to ask King Louis for help. Otherwise, King Louis may be forced to help because of her luck. 

Sebastian believed at that time Felicity did not want to be Queen yet. She just wanted to be with Lucien. But then everything changed when that traitor approached Lucien. 

Lord Bentley is a very ambitious lord. To put it simply, he wants to be Lord Astor. His dream is to control the King (and maybe later become King himself). His dream would have stayed as dream if Lucien had not appeared. Both King Louis and Prince Sebastian are not fools. Lucien, a stupid and easy to manipulate former prince, was perfect for him. Lucien would be a perfect puppet King.

In my previous life, he approached Lucien and laid out a plan. He made used of Felicity’s power. He asked Felicity to wish for famine and drought in Arerin, so that our subjects were dissatisfied. Then he spread rumors saying that the new Queen brought misfortune. The famine and the drought were proof. People were dissatisfied and angry with me, the newly crowned Queen, and then even the King for marrying me. No matter what I am thankful that Sebastian did not disown me. 

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He was responsible like this, even to a Queen he had no feelings for, a Queen who caused his subjects to revolt. As long as I was his Queen, he protected me.

But he also betrayed me. 

That was when Lord Bentley asked Lucien to pretend to be a knight in shining armor, he had food (because they bought that before the famine), he had a wife who was the embodiment of fortune. 

If you have to choose, which side will you choose? Food or famine? People started revolting. Now that I think of it, the revolts started here around Coral Cliff. From this corner of the country. Lord Bentley controlled everything behind the scene. When Sebastian found out the traitor and everything he had done, it was too late. (Maybe Felicity helped in concealing Bentley too.) The plan was already in motion, Felicity was there. No one can fight against luck. 

I should have killed them when I met them that day, shouldn’t I? Why didn’t I grasp such an opportunity? Lucien controlled fire and wind. The fire that fateful day was started by him. The fire that killed Sebastian and I.

But I can’t. No matter how much I hate them, the idea didn’t even cross my mind. What a failure. A failure queen. Now I can’t even sacrifice myself for the greater good. 

Lord Bentley should have approached them already. The famine started a few months after Sebastian ascended the throne. 

Sebastian said he found out the traitor way too late because Lord Bentley was clean. He was the loyalest noble before everything. So I guess Sebastian could not catch Bentley immediately after he was reborn as he didn’t have proof. I hope he has proof now.

I will have to destroy this page. Too many secrets. Too many names. 

I hope when the monsoon season is over, I can receive some good news. 

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