Chapter Fifteen: Speculations

Kaltyr held her stomach, laughing, as she allowed her body to roll backwards onto the gravelly dirt. Her gut soon ached from the involuntary exercise, but the girl only took delight from the experience. For whatever reason, she had the impression that it had been too long since the last good laugh. She’d laughed a couple times the last two days, but the feeling that her life still sorely lacked joy was palpable.

Only after a solid minute of convulsing did the gentle rustling of leaves and earthy smell of the forest remind her of her location enough so that she could forcibly end her giggle-fest. Laughing was nice, but safety was paramount. Thankfully, however, it didn’t seem like her fit of cackles caught the attention of would-be enemies.

“It looks like…” The last traces of Kaltyr’s smile steadily disappeared. “I was right. I might not have remembered much at the time when the thought came to mind, but this world—Manic—works like a game.”

She craned her neck back to look up, taking advantage of her position next to the river where no trees grew to get as clear a view of the sky as she could. Her eyes scanned the orange airspace above her, finding nothing but a few specks she assumed were birds and some wispy clouds before searching for one of the very first nouns she remembered without actually having seen it.

“There really is no sun, but at night, there are six moons. One of which…”

Kaltyr turned to see that peeking out over the edge of the forest canopies on the other side of the river was one of the moons she’d noticed the night before. Specifically, the orange moon, hanging out during the orange period of the day.

And I know it’s the orange moon, and that it doesn’t just look orange due to the sky, because they had different shapes carved onto their surfaces. I’m pretty sure that shape was on the orange one.

The girl concentrated her attention on the dull circle that almost entirely blended into the sky, making out the details she didn’t care much about when the moon was alongside its pals.

“Triangles? Wait, no, they have four sides… Four diamonds forming a crosshair? But I think those shapes have a better name than ‘diamonds’. Diagonal squares? But the sides closest to the center are smaller, making them quite long…”

Kaltyr wracked her brain for words as she inspected the crosshair shape made from four rhombuses—

“Rhombus!” She exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air and immediately regretting it when the movement caused her wound to sting. “Ouch… But yeah, the orange moon’s shape plastered onto its surface is a crosshair formed from four rhombuses that intersect in the middle. I wonder if…” She stroked her chin thoughtfully. “Does that shape mean anything? Is it a symbol? It probably does and is. After all, the other moons each have individual shapes on them. And are the moons’ symbols, combined with the lack of a sun in the sky, related to the video game-esque qualities of Manic? This all just feels like too many coincidences.”

Kaltyr leaned back and rested on her elbows, a mix of emotions trudging about in her head as her expression returned to a placid state. Uncertainty, excitement, and paranoia, to say the least, mucked about within her, leaving contradictory feelings for her to decipher.

On one hand, she couldn’t say that she was having a bad time. Putting aside the initial confusion and fear from first awakening, the girl didn’t have too much trouble with accepting her circumstances as unchangeable. All that was possible was making due with what she had and moving on…which worked out pretty well. In regards to keeping morale high, it was only times like this—when she delved into introspection—that her mood really took a dip. Yes, she was frightened by the beasts residing within the forest she was plopped into, but Kaltyr did not, at all, wallow in it. She recognized that there was danger, then set the fear aside, using it as motivation to persevere rather than allowing it to take control.

On the other hand…what was the point in persevering at all?

“This is exciting and all—what with the video game stuff that promises stuff like magic—but what is it all for?” Kaltyr glanced at the stack of red scales that sparkled under the sunlight, then at the pile of deep green feathers. “Yes, Manic offers exhilarating danger and rewards for braving them in the forms of sustenance and strength, but will it bring me happiness? It’s…kinda fun right now, but that’s probably only because this is my second day. If I survive for, let’s say, five years…what will keep me going?”

The girl fully lied onto her back, placing her hands on her belly as she stared up at the sky. No longer did she hear the rustling of leaves in the wind or persistent flow of the river. The details of the world slowly melded together until all Kaltyr was left with was herself. Her own thoughts.

“What do I want?” She asked into the void. “For what reason should I continue?”

The void did not reply. Kaltyr was alone in her mind.

“I don’t remember what I did in my past life, so how do I figure out what keeps me sane?”

The void maintained its silence. Nothingness did not have an opinion.

“Did I have hobbies? Was I in love with my, uh, job?”

Still, nothing came to her. It could not, and had nothing to say.

“What motivated me to wake up every day? Did I have good friends? Family? A lover?”

Then, a spark. The words she automatically used in her question stirring up a realization.

PEOPLE! Kaltyr mentally shouted, shooting to her feet with a short burst of adrenaline. Her heart rate began to increase as what felt like a mountain-sized palm—the ninth, to be precise—smacked her square in the forehead.

“God damn!” She exclaimed, awkwardly standing there on the riverside, unsure of what to do with her sudden spike in energy. “How could I have forgotten that I knew people back on…back in wherever I was before here?!” The girl gripped both sides of her head and looked to the sky, prodding at her mind, desperately attempting to stimulate her memories. “I had parents! Siblings! I mean, I probably did…”

Immediately after, Kaltyr hung her head and sighed as the energy faded as quickly as it had appeared, her arms returning to her sides. She absentmindedly stared at the mix of gravel and dirt she stood upon.

I think that I had…surely I had family and friends? Well, I can’t remember any, nor even any moments with other people, at all, but… It’s likely just the fault of “The System”. Just another part of having my mind wiped, I guess. But, at least now I have a goal. I need to return to whomever I left behind!

With her confidence and motivation returning all at once after her sudden, but short, pseudo-panic attack, Kaltyr clenched her fists and took in a deep breath, puffing out her chest and donning a stern expression in a show of bravado to no one in particular. She pictured herself playing along in the game she’d been thrown into by The System, marching through countless bloody conflicts, stomping through perilous battlefields, and attaining the greatest level of power possible before facing the ones responsible for taking her from her previous life and demanding to be brought back to her home. Or alternatively, finding a way back on her own.

Then, she deflated like a popped balloon and sank to her knees.

“I just remembered…” she whimpered, “…that the guidebook said my ‘mission’ here ends when I’m dead! Plus, if I’m encouraged to get stronger, that probably means I’ll never reach the point where I’m a threat to The System. I’m probably an ant in an ant farm!”

Kaltyr buried her face in her hands, trying to massage away the emotions that all strangely came flooding in and through her so suddenly within the timespan of only a couple minutes.

God, these thoughts and feelings are annoying. Could this all have been…an effect of my being placed here?

As the girl calmed, she dragged her hands down her face, dramatically stretching her cheeks and staring at the river.

“Probably… I doubt my psyche was so unstable in my…past life? Yeah, that’s what I’ll call it from now on.” She remembered the few times before when she suddenly transitioned from frightened to bloodthirsty with little to serve as a trigger. “All these sudden mood shifts are f****** exhausting.”

               Suddenly, something in Kaltyr’s vision caused her to flinch. As fast as she could, and ignoring the pain from her thigh, she let go of her face and stood up, eyeing the river with her knife in hand. Her heart sped up as she readied for action, watching a blot of color slowly float toward her from upriver. The brown spot some ways upriver was long, and as far as Kaltyr could tell, as thick as her arm without any protrusions coming off the surface she could see.

               The girl prepared to flee, thinking it was a large snake like a constrictor, but on further inspection, saw that it was completely rigid, like a cylinder of wood. Out of curiosity, she chose to stick around, thinking, “What if it’s a snake’s corpse? Free loot!”

               A few tantalizing moments later, disappointment became evident on Kaltyr’s face. The “thing” flowing downriver was exactly what it looked like: a log of wood.

               “Guess I was too optimistic, hoping for free loot.”

She clicked her tongue and turned away, letting it be taken past her by the current and chastising herself for thinking life would be so kind as to drop free stuff at her feet.

“Anyway, I need to take all this stuff back to home base.  And I need to do it all in one trip or some beasts will take it. Now, the question remains: should I loot the fish before or aft—”

Kaltyr’s eyes opened wide as something dawned on her.

“S***!”

She spun around to face the river again, a bit of anxiety crawling up her back as she scanned the river and quickly located the thin log that could also have been a tree branch. Gritting her teeth at the pain that was to come, she then began shuffling toward the wood that was being swept away from her. Each step was as large as a normal one, but her pace was unstable as she constantly corrected her footing in hopes of agitating her wound as little as possible.

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