Chapter 35 – Dense Ann

“…Say, how would you feel if someone were to follow you around, and keep asking you about when you would poo or pee, and that they wanted to see you do that?” Allen asked while massaging his forehead.

“Ekh, is that person crazy?! A stalker? Poo fetish? Pee fetish?!” Ann’s face contorted in disgust as she waved her hand in a ‘shoo, shoo, go away’ movements.

Allen was surprised Ann could be this oblivious that his mouth was slightly open. In front of this absurd woman, the cool and calm Allen was…simply put, no more. He definitely didn’t look cool at this time.

“Then, has it occurred to your mind that Birdie also thought the same? She is intelligent and I’m sure she wants privacy too,” Allen tried his best to reserve the urge to grumble at Ann.

“…,” Ann was astonished, she used both her hands to cover her wide open mouth.

“…,” Allen was dumbfounded. She never thought about it that way, it seems.

“Well, now you know,” Allen sighed.

“Chirp!” Birdie’s loud voice seemed to be affirmative.

Ann finally got over her shock, turned to look at Birdie before she looked at Allen.

“I never thought of that…I was…I was concerned!” Ann tried to raise her negative image.

“Concerned?” Allen frowned.

“Yes! Normal birds—no, normal living beings should be able to excrete, right? At least they will need to excrete! If they don’t, they might be ill! I’m just worried that Birdie was actually sick! If so, we need to go take her to the vet—I mean see an expert to help her, don’t you think so?” Ann asked.

Allen blinked.

This woman…was worried that Birdie might be sick? She cared that much for just Birdie?

…She’d be a good mother, then.

The thought that crossed his mind for a split second caused his heart to scream in confusion. Why would he think about how this woman would be a good mother? What connection did he even see in this situation? That was just absurd!

Allen slightly turned his gaze away from Ann, focusing his eyes at Birdie who tilted her head at him.

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“While it’s nice for you to think for Birdie’s health, Birdie isn’t an ordinary bird. She’s a monster, remember? Monsters have different behavior and mechanism. There are some monsters that excrete magical stones. Don’t you know that?” Allen said and regretted saying the last line.

Sure enough, Ann opened her mouth.

“I have a memory loss,” she said a lie without even batting an eye. Her gaze was so straightforward and her tone was monotone. She was now not guilty anymore for telling this lie.

On the contrary, Allen felt bad for touching a topic that was ‘sensitive’ to Ann.

And on the other hand, Ann’s mind was going crazy. Her modern world common sense still couldn’t keep up with this world’s common sense!

So, Birdie’s excretion mechanism is different because she’s a monster? Then, is she a type that won’t excrete? Is she a type that excretes…the air? How convenient!

She wished Birdie had an information box popping out, yet even after petting her many times, she never triggered that information box from her…

“Don’t sweat it, then,” Allen turned his gaze away from Ann again and proceeded to leave now that his business was over.

In the past, it was the same too. He couldn’t be with Arlea for a prolonged time. He’d want to go away from her. However, the reason behind his action was different now.

In the past, he was simply annoyed with Arlea’s attitude.

But now, he just couldn’t be calm whenever he was with her. He never felt this way before, so he decided to escape. It wasn’t like himself.

However, before Allen could leave the room, Ann said, “Wait.”

Allen reflexively stopped right away and turned around to see the woman that made him feel not like himself anymore. He only raised his eyebrows, as if saying ‘What is it?’

At the same time, Birdie was startled, so she reflexively flew behind, floating in the air next to Faye. Faye only turned to look at her for a split second before turning her head straight again, ignoring Birdie who was next to her now.

“I have another problem. Birdie doesn’t want to enter the birdcage we purchased for her at all…,” Ann said with a feeling of guilt as she looked down. She felt so bad for wasting Allen’s money for something that won’t be used!

“Oh, no problem then. She might like the idea of freedom the best,” Allen could understand Birdie’s attitude as he had interacted with various monsters after living in this world for so long.

“But that’d be a waste of money for the cage, then? I know, why don’t we just sell it?” Ann suggested.

“There’s no need for that,” Allen said in an instant.

For some reason, he felt like this custom birdcage that he helped Ann make and buy—was something important. It was their first time having something that was made with the combined efforts of the two of them.

“How about we keep a pet bird?” Allen suddenly had an idea.

The moment he suggested that, he happened to see Faye and Birdie’s bodies twitching at the same time. Birdie stopped flying and perched herself on Faye’s shoulder. Faye showed no resistance as her expression completely revealed her reluctancy to share her Arlea-sama with another bird, and Birdie looked the same, too. For once, Faye and Birdie were in complete sync and agreement. They looked so harmonious this way!

Allen chuckled, “Let’s drop the idea. Let’s just keep the birdcage for now.”

Ann didn’t see Faye and Birdie’s antics as her back was facing them, so she only stared dumbfoundedly at Allen.

Why did he suddenly chuckle?

Wait, this is the first time he laughed without ‘restraint’. Now that I see him closely, he is a fine specimen, indeed! As expected of one of the capturable targets in this otome game!

Enamored by the handsome capturable target, Ann’s mouth slipped out, “Handsome, you look so tempting! Do you want to play with this old woman?”

Allen’s smile disappeared the moment he heard Ann speaking and his face contorted in terror. In modern world’s language, Ann felt like Allen’s face was saying, “what the f*ck?”

Even Faye and Birdie turned to look at their mistress at the same time with a look of disbelief. How could she destroy this harmonious atmosphere with a horrible way of flirting?!

For one, Arlea-sama was so young, yet she said something along the line of ‘this old woman’…?! Who taught her to flirt this way?!

Ann regretted that she had a loose mouth, but she thought that her flirting skill was nice!

Still, the moment she saw Allen’s expression, she knew that her attempt was a complete failure…She looked down dejectedly and sighed.

When can I seduce him if my attempts always failed and if I don’t look that ‘tasty’ for him?!

Will she be able to fulfill one of her wishes before she dies again—that is, to lose her virginity to a handsome man like Allen?

…That seemed like an impossible task…

Well no problem, that kind of thing isn’t so important. If it succeeds, then it can be considered as a tasty bonus! There’s a lot more important, enjoyable things in this world than just riding a dragon.

A moment of awkward silent filled the room. Ann decided to give it another try.

“Do you prefer sexy lingerie, cute lingerie, or…nothing?”

Allen decided he had enough of her teasing, so he quickly turned around and exited the room. Along the way, he blushed real hard when his mind reflexively tried to imagine Arlea in sexy lingerie, cute lingerie, and even nothing!!

He definitely isn’t a pervert man, okay?

“W-wait, what to do with this birdcage, where to put…it…,” Ann tried to ask Allen but Allen didn’t hear anything as he was trapped in his own conflicted mind. Since Allen didn’t seem to slow down at all, Ann’s voice gradually decreased…Her hand was still on the air, waving at the leaving Allen…

He really left without even slowing down…

Ann scratched her head.

“I guess we can just leave it here? Shall I ask Gwen tomorrow?”

Faye turned to look at Birdie, and at the same time, Birdie also turned to look at Faye. The two somehow could tell that they were thinking the same thing with just a stare.

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Arlea-sama should be more concerned in her sorry attempt of flirting and destroying the atmosphere instead of the birdcage…

Faye and Birdie sighed at the same time.

Faye wondered how long would it take for her to see Arlea-sama’s child if things were to go on like this…?

They never knew that Ann never thought that far ahead…

- my thoughts:
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