The darkness of the night was being rendered so sultry by a man’s continuous kisses against a woman’s white skin.
It was the first time Lu Yan was so delicate and dedicated during acts of love. Her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, that spot between her eyebrows, he kissed it all with a slow relish, sporadically lifting his head and observing her face before plunging back. Who could have imagined that the same rigid hands that wrote submissions and death sentences could morph into soft and tender caresses?!
However, Shen Zhen was not enjoying this sudden novelty. In fact, it was making her horribly nervous and anxious. She remembered that the last time she had told him that she was menstruating, he had immediately lost interest, removed his hands from her body and backed away. She was afraid he was planning on pushing perversion to a new level, so she quickly called out to him, very unwilling to cross yet another one of her boundaries under Lu Yan’s coercion.
He looked down at her yet again, roused by her voice, an inexplicable “single-mindedness” seeping through his eyes. Of course, the “single-mindedness” she was seeing was biasedly derived from Shen Zhen’s prior experiences with this man.
She did not know how to express herself. It was Lu Yan she was facing, after all. One unfortunate word could make him turn from this sultry, dexterous lover into a cold, demeaning prosecutor. However, she also knew that as soon as he got himself worked up, it would be impossible to make him stop. She had to be tactful.
“It is impossible today. Really impossible”, she purred charmingly, a cold shiver running down her spine.
Feeling like she had not been clear enough, she emphasized once more, begging her demanding partner with her watery eyes:
“Absolutely impossible.”
Ah, if only she knew how tempting she looked at that instant, trying to stand her ground. Lu Yan had to refrain from laughing heartily. On the surface, he remained the cold, indifferent Young Master of the Zhen Grand Duchy and laconically asked:
“And how long are we supposed to wait?”
Shen Zhen almost pushed five fingers into his face, full of fervor. Lu Yan raised one interrogative eyebrow at her, expressing just how unsure he was of her sincerity. Cursing in her heart, Shen Zhen mumbled something uncomplimentary under her breath, wondering whether this man who had been put on her path to torment her had taking up counting the duration of her period.
She had no choice but to concede, putting down one finger. Four days was reasonable, was it not?! Lu Yan’s expression remained unchanged. Shen Zhen put down yet another finger, making it three. Such concessions! What pitiful retreat. One could but sigh at such naivety. Did she not know that she had to defend every inch of her land? No one had taught her that the privileged boys of the leading class would take an arm if she were to give them a finger.
Fortunately, Lu Yan did not truly intend to spend the night in the midst of throes of passion. As he saw Shen Zhen bending a third finger down, he flicked her forehead.
“Stop playing and go to sleep already.”
This woman did not know her luck. Had it not been for Lu Yan taking care of her brother and saving her from being sold, with her personality, she would have helped the brokers count the money of her sale. Lu Yan turned over, rubbing at his eyebrows irritatedly. Thinking back to that dream …
That year, Zhao Chong, in his old age, had been given a daughter by a concubine. Full of joy, and especially pride at his prowess that many a young man should have envied according to himself, he decided to flaunt it by organizing a most extravagant hundred-day ceremony for the little newcomer. All the Yangzhou dignitaries came to present their congratulations and Lu Yan was among them. On such an occasion, he decided to take Fu Man along, mostly to alleviate any suspicions Zhao Chong might have still harbored.
Had it been any other day, Shen Zhen would not have cared much. But tomorrow was the New Year. Other people’s house were bustling with activity and joy. Yet, here was Shen Zhen, lonely and far from her family. Seeing as the Miss seemed to be a bit dejected, Tangyue ordered the kitchen to make some of the sweets Shen Zhen favored. And actually, before leaving, the Young Master had ordered Tangyue to ensure Shen Zhen would be served milk custard for desert. She simply loved milk custard.
Halfway through the evening meal, however, Lu Yan appeared at the door. Shen Zhen hurriedly jumped to her feet greeting His Lordship. He walked towards her and softly patted her shoulder.
“Continue eating.”
He himself too place in front of her. However, he had not come for food, she knew. Lu Yan must have had something to say. In her anxiety, Shen Zhen could not take more than a few mouthfuls before stopping and begging to know what it was he was hiding from her.
“Does Your Lordship have something to say?”
Lu Yan assented with a low growl.
“Are you done eating?”
Shen Zhen nodded enthusiastically. How could eating be any better than satiating one’s curiosity?! Miserably failing at concealing a smile, Lu Yan admonished her.
“Then, do not complain of being hungry later.”
They observed one another, the suspense growing, until Lu Yan suddenly pulled Shen Zhen up.
“Let’s go! I am taking you somewhere.”
In no time, Shen Zhen found herself seated on a horse. Now, the most beautiful girl of Chang’an was a great talent. She played the zither like a fairy, was a true mastermind at go, had an elegant stroke and could paint little birds that one expected to chirp out of scrolls and landscapes that appeared to be alive. But one thing she could not do was ride a horse.
“Your Lordship, wherever we are going, can we not take the carriage?!”, she whimpered.
Lu Yan hoisted himself up behind Shen Zhen, sneaking an arm around her waist. Clamping down on the horse’s flanks, he made the horse shoot forward. Shen Zhen could not but light a silent candle for her hairdo. She closed her eyes, afraid she would fall off. Twisting around slightly, she pressed into the arm around her waist, looking for anything solid to cling onto.
(Translator’s Note: Whenever you are in a situation where you want to keep equilibrium, do not close your eyes. It will destabilize you. Rather, fix a point on the horizon and stare at it while you try to keep.)
He took her south, past Guangji Bridge, along sinuous streets, through dense forests and only made the horse halt as they almost left the city. Lu Yan pulled the reigns and jumped down the horse, opening his arms to Shen Zhen.
“Come down.”
Shen Zhen slid down into his embrace, her trembling legs unable to support the weight of her body. Lifting her head, she saw a magnificent plaque hanging above a red gate — Chu Residence. Shen Zhen looked back at Lu Yan.
“Your Lordship … where are we?”
A mysterious smile played on Lu Yan’s mouth. His curled lips were particularly attractive. So much so, Shen Zhen felt slightly faint.
“Go on, knock on the door and you will know.”
Getting no answer to her question, she hesitated, looking up once more. Chu Residence. At once, her heart started beating wildly as an idea sprouted in her mind. Her small feet walked forward before starting to run. Her hand grabbed onto the knocker and gently tapped three times, awaiting breathlessly.
Soon, she heard familiar footsteps. Oh, she knew that rhythm, two quick steps, three slower ones. That pitter-patter had followed every one of Shen Zhen’s own steps for so many years. The gate was slowly pushed aside and the head of a young woman peeked out. When she saw who had come, the young woman dropped a lantern, shouting in a hoarse voice:
“Miss!”
Shen Zhen stood there, unable to move, not knowing what to do. Her eyes filled with tears and she only hesitated for an instant before throwing herself into Qingxi’s arms. There was no place for restraint between the two of them. One could even say that Shen Zhen had fallen lower than Qingxi. Therefore she disregarded the rules between servants and masters, and simply nestled in the arms of someone so familiar, so intimately related with happier days.
Big tears slid down her cheeks. There was so much pain in this moment of happiness. Because Shen Zhen knew that it would fleeting. The man behind her clenched his jaw, rubbing a this chest. He frowned and sighed. But he made no move to stop her from venting her sadness.
Shen Zhen followed Qingxi into the main hall, holding arms and laughing through her tears. Within a moment, she saw Retainer An taking a walk with little Shen Hong. Before Retainer An could react, Shen Hong saw a familiar silhouette and started jumping and screaming.
“Third sister!”
Shen Zhen squatted down, opening her arms for Shen Hong to pounce in, almost overthrowing her. Her lips made immediate contact with his forehead, his cheeks, the bridge of his nose. She vigorously caressed his hair, not getting enough of this beloved younger brother for whose sake she was willing to do more than become a mistress.
“Where have you been all this time, Third Sister?! Hong’er missed you so much! Nanny said you had important things to do. Are you all done now?”
Lu Yan walked in on this display of brotherly love. As soon as he entered, the atmosphere in the room became instantly chilly …
Retainer An made Shen Hong salute. Qingxi almost got entangled in her own feet. Everyone paid their respects to Lu Yan in their own ridiculous, frightened way. Shen Zhen, however, only shot him a long, soul-stirring, imploring glance. Lu Yan had known beforehand he would not be welcome in this reunion of womenfolk. He simply raised his hand, slowly caressed the top of Shen Zhen’s head in an uncharacteristic movement of what could have been mistaken for affection and said:
“I’ll be going to find Master Chu for a game of go.”
Retainer An observed the strange man, cold and arrogant at first glance yet bestowing obvious favor, very intimate favor, upon her Shen Zhen. The old servant furrowed her brows, her hands clasped together. How could she not understand such ambiguous actions?!
As soon as Lu Yan stepped out the door, Shen Hong produced his copybook, proudly showing the results of his hard work. He had been practicing writing day and night, just for the pleasure of impressing his older sister when she came back to pick him up. Shen Zhen observed her little brother’s eager face, awaiting praise with an open mouth. And yet, that little, benign bit of resentment she felt towards Hong’er for having displaced her as the family’s youngest child, and therefore most indulged, reared its ugly head.
“Oh, Hong’er, dear, you have not improved one bit!”
Hearing this, Shen Hong’s face fell in deep disappointment. He was on the brink of tears.
“But Mister Chu praised Hong’er …”
However, the boy’s sadness did not last long. He had a vivacious mind and quickly passed onto another subject.
“Is the Third Sister very busy? It’s already the New Year. Won’t she spend it with Hong’er, pretty please?!”
Shen Zhen tugged at his little nose, biting onto the inside of her cheek to keep herself from crying.
“I cannot just yet. Hong’er needs to be patient a little longer.”
Her voice was about to break, but lucky her brother was too young to understand her pain. He just innocently stabbed the dagger a little deeper into her heart.
“When will Third Sister be finished with her work, then?”
He was a child indeed, asking all the questions that should not be asked. How could Shen Zhen answer his inquires? Seeing the Miss’s hesitancy, Retainer An quickly bent over to make eye-contact with Hong’er.
“Hong’er, it is time for you to take your medicine.”
Xingyi Hall – Eastern part of the Chu Residence
The cold wind made branches and leaves rustle as night engulfed two men who were making small go stones clink against a jade board. It was the type of game that made connoisseurs sigh in admiration. Not one of the two men was willing to concede defeat and behind their masks of elegant sons of the upper echelons of society, there was a bitter intellectual battle raging.
Chu Xun calmly placed a white stone, effectively parrying one of Lu Yan’s attacks.
“I assumed you had put that Shen boy in my care because Sui Yu had requested help. You can imagine my surprise when I found out that it was all your own thinking …”, he purred scornfully, observing Lu Yan from between his lashes.
Lu Yan, for his part, did not go to the trouble of answering. Rather, he slammed a black stone in a dissuasive manner. Chu Xun was only spurred further in his stubborn decision of making game of his dear friend. He tapped his seductive lips with his forefinger in a pensive way.
“Would it be liking?
Lu Yan felt his scalp go numb. His face did not betray him. He played the role of the heir to the Zhen Duchy until the end. The only hint of his inner turmoil was the quarrelsome way he surrounded a group of Chu Xin’s stones with his own on the go board. Seeing his good friend Lu Yan so troubled, Chu Xun could not but laugh in overpowering triumph.
“Do you remember how you used to mock our poor Sui Yu, back in the days?”
A great man would never let himself be overpowered by the will of a mere woman.
Driving yourself to insanity because of that Shen girl? Truly, Sui Yu, you are making a joke of yourself.
Such had been Lu Yan’s words. And look at him now! He was not a man who could bear ridicule. He straightened his back and shot Chu Xin a contemptuous glance.
“You should focus on the go game. It would be a shame to lose your title of champion.”
Chu Xun could not keep silent. This sort of Lu Yan was too good a treat.
“You have such a long, arduous path in front of you, my good lad. The Princess Royal will not look favorably upon this trouble you’ve gotten yourself in.”
Was Chu Xun, this treacherous, tongue-wagging dandy, trying to curse him?! Lu Yan raised his hand, flicking the last black stone into the stone basket.
“It is late. I shall be leaving.”
Chu Xun looked at his friend’s retiring back, shouting after him.
“Eh, Lu Shiyan, who has ever had a friend as good as you?! You just came to Yangzhou after an extended period of absence. You play your usual secretive games, completely disregarding my existence. And once you do appear out of thin air at my doorstep, you do not even finish playing a game of go with me!”
As soon as Shen Zhen had fed Shen Hong his medicine, Retainer An, Qingxi and herself urged the boy to take a nap while they made their way to a secluded room, planning of speaking their mind without fear of male disturbance.
Once finally seated, Retainer An raised her hand, caressing a beloved face she had not seen for so long, wondering whether her callous fingers would harm her Zhen’er’s soft skin. She unwillingly removed her hand, her voice shaking as she asked:
“Has the Miss been well?”
Retainer An was getting old. Shen Zhen did not wish to complain to her, for fear of causing her undue anxiety. She plastered a cheerful smile on her lips, acting the role of the same, spoiled little Zhen’er who used to always get away with being naughty most of the time.
“Nanny, do not worry. Zhen’er is fine?”
The old servant’s eyes filled with water. How could she not see through Shen Zhen’s façade?!
“Why has the Miss come to Yangzhou?”
“Lord Lu has to take care of a case. He simply took me with him”, Shen Zhen offhandedly answered.
Retainer An hesitated before biting out in a stifled voice:
“Has the Miss … become a concubine?”
As she asked, her lips started trembling. How could a daughter of the Shen famiky have become a mere concubine?!
A concubine.
What a humiliation. What a grievance. Her poor, dead mistress would never be able to rest in peace, knowing their beloved Zhen’er had fallen so low. After hearing Retainer An’s question, Shen Zhen could not but feel mortified. She could not admit. She could not refute. Seeing as there was something wrong with Shen Zhen’s smiling demeanor, something deeply concealed but that caused the Miss anguish, Retainer An whispered tentatively:
“Is Princess Jing’an mistreating you?”
She Zhen shook her head, smiling even wider.
“Not at all.”
This young woman had once been a child. It was Retainer An who had wiped her running nose, kissed her scraped elbows and, at times, pulled her naughty little ears. Just by the way Shen Zhen was dodging her old nanny’s gaze, Retainer An knew something was very wrong. She was left pensive. After a moment, her old hands started shaking.
“Could it be that the Miss has followed him namelessly?”, she tremblingly asked, her voice breaking.
She could not bring herself to say the word ‘mistress’.
Shen Zhen blushed like a child who had been caught red-handed by its elders. In order to soothe her nanny, Shen Zhen drew her lips back into a small, shaking smile.
“His Lordship treats me well. He has never abused me.”
Shen Zhen had spoken sincerely. When one thought about it carefully, when one remembered all the sorts of men that walked Chang’an’s streets and the stories of one’s youth, Lu Yan was not the worse for the comparison. He treated her as well as could be expected in her circumstances.
And she had never truly thought about her status. In fact, all things considered, being his mistress was better than entering the Zhen Grand Duchy as a concubine. A concubine was restrained by the laws of the courtyard. A mistress was free to come and go as she pleased. If she had a sense for business, she could even make a profit out of the situation.
Retainer An took Shen Zhen’s little hand.
“Has the Miss not thought about the future? Is she planning on remaining a mistress like this for life?”
Retainer An’s tears flowed down her old, wrinkled cheeks. But Shen Zhen slowly enunciated, indifferent and cold, in the possession of all her means:
“The Young Master is already twenty-three years old. Which mother would tolerate for her son to grow old alone? Princess Royal Jing’an will most probably arrange a marriage for him in the upcoming year. When that time comes, I will break it off …”
She could not have been more calculate than at that instant. Before she had finished speaking, Shen Zhen heard Qingxi exclaiming:
“Your Lordship!”
