B4 — 44. Is It Envy?

Author Note: Well, this is the last chapter in Pokesync until I can get my life stable. I think it is a good place to end it for now. o7 Tell me what you think when it eventually runs down the tiers. I’ll keep releasing them each week until all the chapters are out.

Royal Road’s fanfic new guidelines also makes it hard since they’re making it so you can’t really advertise on fanfics anymore. A hard time for fanfics, I know. I’ll return to Pokesync when I can stabilize my income and life better. It’s just become impossible to justify the time when I need to make more money to actually eat more than one meal a day or even every two days while maintaining all my other responsibilities. 


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PoV:

1. Amira (Our Flaming Fire Stone!)

2. Rhea (Our Future Super Villainess!)


1:14 p.m. November 3rd, Tuesday, 106 PH (Post Hoopa Event). Day 147.

Events: Rhea and the girls are on a Badge Hunt, trying to get all the Kanto Encrusted Badges before time runs out! Our girl started her journey on the 9th of June, and the end of registration for the Winter Indigo Cup is December 5th (31 days away).

The ship rocked gently beneath Amira’s feet, the salty breeze teasing loose strands of her fiery hair as she stared into the endless blue. She had slipped away unnoticed from her bombarded teammates, or so she hoped, to address something that had been eating her up inside.

Lori and Rhea had become the center of attention, the Trainers, tourists, and Gym enthusiast crowd swirling around them with excited questions about Rhea using Lulu during her last Gym Battle and if they’d use their Myths or Legends in all the future Gym battles. It gave Amira the perfect excuse to melt into the background unnoticed.

Only, she didn’t quite understand how to address what was pressing against her heavy heart.

Why do I feel so off lately? It doesn’t make sense. I have everything I’d ever need… I have the perfect life. Don’t I?

She crossed her arms, gripping them tightly against her chest.

Then why do I feel this anxiety… I’m not nervous about Blaine. I’m not even that close to Rylee or the others. It’s not like I’m incredibly invested in their problems… It’s sad. That’s it. They’re more Rhea’s friends than having anything to do with me. I don’t have friends… So, is it that I’m just selfish? I’m comfortable being selfish. Then why do I feel so…flawed?

Saliva thickening in her mouth, she pulled out her phone from the belt strap she wore and flipped to her back. Unlocking the device, she bit her bottom lip upon seeing two unanswered texts: Kekipi and Lucian.

Kekipi blissfully tells me about his latest training sessions and Lucian’s awkward attempts to check in on me after my last Gym battle…and I can’t respond. Why can’t I respond?

She glanced down at Serenity, who was the only one who was with her after she’d dismissed her other girls to go have fun on the ship; Amira practically had to chase them off to let her handle her dysfunction her own way.

I look at their messages, and my thoughts instantly go to Jason and Rhea’s cute antics as a couple… Kekipi and Lucian would drop everything to see me if I asked. As bad as it sounds in my head, I could have both of them to feed me attention anytime I wanted. I…don’t want to waste their time, though. But I think about Jason and Rhea’s moments together…

Flipping back around with a low groan, she leaned forward to lightly tap her forehead against her folded arms on the railing, staring at the deck. Her breathing became momentarily difficult.

What’s wrong with me? Am I depressed? What am I not satisfied with? It’s not about Jason, Kekipi, or Lucian, though… It’s Rhea. I don’t want to be around her. That’s so…wrong. And after what I said in Celadon? Why have things changed since we talked in the Gym? It’s not logical!

“What’s wrong with me, Serenity?” she mumbled, feeling a wave of guilt and frustration that made her nose burn.

“Fee?”

She shook her head, lifting herself up to stare across the waves, looking for answers that were buried in the little things Rhea did or said. “No, I’m not exactly sad… I looked it up, and it’s different from depression. I could talk to a therapist, but…I don’t want to.”

Serenity floated up a tad to nudge her shoulder. “Feebas.”

“I know that’s not like me,” she mumbled, her stomach tightening up. “It’s why I’m so…agitated. It’s more like a constant itch under my skin… This unsettling feeling that leaves me…hollow and restless all at once.”

She shifted, leaning her elbows on the cool railing, staring at the ocean below. The water reflected the bright morning light in its v-like pattern from the ship’s wake, but its surface was deceptive. Beneath, it was deep, dark, and unknowable—just like her thoughts.

“Amira!”

The sound of her name made her muscles lock up, though she immediately softened her features before turning around, adding a fake smile. Rhea had found her, a concerned look in the blonde’s bright blue eyes. She smiled, but there was a knowing glint behind it that Amira couldn’t ignore. Rhea had an innate sense for Aura that made hiding things difficult, but Amira had practice with her mother.

“Lori’s running interference for me,” Rhea said with a small laugh, catching up to her. “Hey, Serenity!”

“Bas.”

Rhea nodded as Lulu jumped out of her dress front, no doubt hiding from the attention she was getting. “Lori’s got them distracted for now. But I was…worried. You’ve seemed off since this morning. No, maybe before that?”

Of course she noticed. I guess Jason could only distract her as long as he was here, and now that he’s gone… She’s so open…so willing to reach out to others… Is that my problem? Why does that bother me so much? Am I…jealous? No. It’s something else.

Amira’s stomach twisted with guilt as she stopped herself from playing with her rose-colored glasses attached to her blouse front.

“I’m fine,” she lied, far too smoothly for her comfort, showing a perfect smile she’d practiced for years. “I just need to focus before the Gym Battle. I want to be ready, and my grandfather’s Gym is next, so…”

It wasn’t entirely false—Blaine’s battles would be tough, but they weren’t the reason she wanted to be alone. And something about mentioning her grandfather made the hand wrapped around her heart grip tighter.

Rhea nodded slowly, but the concern didn’t leave her face. “I get it. But, if there’s anything else…you know you can talk to me, right?”

Amira’s heart tightened at the sincerity in her voice, making nails dig into her chest. She wanted to believe that, wanted to open up about the whirlwind of emotions inside her, but the words just wouldn’t come. Instead, she offered a light chuckle, shrugging as if to brush off the weight of the conversation.

“I know, Rhea. I never doubted that for a second. It’s something a bit more….personal.”

Rhea hesitated for a moment, making Amira’s breath catch in her lungs.

Don’t push it. Please.

The blonde eventually gave a small nod and backed away, showing an inviting smile. “Well, okay. I know you also have your Pokemon. I’ll go try to rescue Lori…if I can make it there. We’ll see, but it’s a battle in there! Take your time.”

I’m so easy to act like a Torkoal in my shell… Stupid.

Amira waved her idol away, feeling dirty but unable to speak her mind for what felt like the first time in her life. Her blonde friend turned and was quickly snagged by a pair of young teenage girls who wanted to learn more about Lulu since all they knew about Cosmog was from school and how dangerous they were.

Amira let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and sniffed, turning to rub away a tear that fell down her cheek. It’s how easily Rhea can do it… How she has this way of inviting people into her life… How she effortlessly builds connections without a worry in the world. Why am I so…weak and afraid?

She turned back to the sea, her reflection rippling in the water below. It wasn’t that she felt neglected—Rhea was always there for her, always offering support. She loved that about her friend. No, it was something else, something deeper that churned inside her.

Do I feel…inferior?

The word hit her like a stone dropping into her stomach.

I’m inferior. Have I ever felt that way before? Am I capable of a real relationship like Rhea? I’ve been successful at everything I’ve done in my entire life…but I can’t let anyone in like Rhea can, and I don’t know why… Serenity?

Her shock dissipated as her Feebas tapped her leg with her fin. Bending down, she picked her up to hold and look after the blonde as Rhea was pulled away to meet the teens’ parents. Nova was now in one of the girls’ arms, who was squealing about how pretty she was.

Amira clenched her jaw.

Emotions aren’t supposed to be this complicated, this irrational. Yet…I feel like I’m standing in Rhea’s shadow, but she keeps pulling me into the light. She introduces everyone new to me and tries to bring me into the group. Without her and Lori…I’d be alone and isolated. I can’t let anyone pass a certain wall… Stupid. It’s stupid. But I’m afraid.

Moving to walk around the upper deck, she spoke to Serenity to have someone in her mind, listening, and not be so alone—small steps.

Rhea has so many people in her life now… I know a lot of people. I have a ton of connections. But it’s different.

Serenity gave her a small nudge, making her chuckle and shake her head, already feeling slightly better. Maybe Rhea’s comment about her Pokemon had been on point, as she always somehow managed to be.

No, you know I’m totally confident in myself. I’m so confident in myself…but I can’t trust others. I rely on myself. I always have. I pride myself on that. Rhea used to be so insecure when we started, despite how amazing she is, and maybe I did help show her with that. Well, I can’t take all the credit.

She looked down on the front middle deck upon reaching it, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth upon seeing Lori gathering everyone to make a Pokestar dance short.

Lori’s got a few problems similar to mine. I am flawed. I find it hard to trust people. And maybe I do envy that in Rhea a bit. I bet she felt the same way about me in some ways… Well, she’s actually told me she has. I guess I should take the advice of my own unreleased song. It is one of my mom’s favorites for a reason since she inspired it… She inspired most of my songs. No one is flawless, but we’re all diamonds.

She glanced down toward the crowd and saw Rhea again, this time swarmed by another group of girls, all of them asking about the movie they’d heard rumors about, by the sounds of it from their loud voices. Some seemed to have noticed that one actress with a major role was played by Kate and wanted to know that story.

Amira watched with a bit of budding pride as Rhea handled the attention with a grace she wouldn’t have believed when they’d first started their journey, that easygoing smile never faltering. Yet, she wasn’t careless either after all their run-ins with the press.

She’s never alone, is she? Wait…is that it?

The realization settled over Amira, heavy and suffocating the warmth she’d just felt.

It’s not that I feel neglected or envious…but I feel small, like I can’t measure up to the effortless way Rhea connects with the world. I feel…hopeless. I can’t change. We’re so similar in our upbringing, yet so different.

Amira looked down at the blonde, laughing and enjoying the questions rather than feeling obligated or annoyed. They’d both been isolated as children—their upbringings, their overprotective families, had ensured that.

But no, that wasn’t right. Her family had always supported her branching out and making new connections. No, she’d done this all on her own—closed herself off, keeping people at arm’s length even when they tried to get closer…because she didn’t want to be hurt. She didn’t even know when it started.

Maybe…I should talk to my mom about this. It’s not something Rhea can or should help with. She’s done enough by helping me see it, but I don’t think I can choose between Lucian and Kekipi until I sort out my own flaws… I need to be open enough to tell them that. I don’t think I can without my mom being there, and as lame as it sounds… I think I need to do it over a call. I don’t know how to let someone in besides my family…not really. 

The thought stung, and she bit her lip to keep the tears from welling up.

I’m stronger than this…but I’m not. I couldn’t even let Rhea see my fear…if it is a fear. I don’t know what it is anymore. Can people like me…for me and not just for who I am? Does that even make sense? I know people like me, that Lucian and Kekipi like me…but can I return those feelings? I don’t know.

The waves below offered no answers, only the constant rhythm of their rise and fall. Yet, a purple-haired Mankey hopped up on the railing to jump and latch onto the upper deck, punting Amira’s mind out of its spiral.

“Lori?! What are you doing—thereare stairs!” she cried in bewilderment as the tall Unovan girl hoisted herself up with impressive strength to hop over the railing. “You’re in a dress! Everyone will see your—”

“Butt? Lucky them!” Lori snickered, Terri making the jump up with her Trainer, despite her short stature. “Nothing people don’t see in my beach pics online. Well, I’m wearing pink today, I think? It might trend if anyone captures a shot. I just threw something on. I didn’t give that much thought to it. Anyway…”

Posting up beside her while flipping her braided hair out of the way, she gave her a critical stare. “What’s up with you, girl, all dark and broody. I keep seeing Rhea look up at you with that face like she wants to help but hasn’t figured out how to put feelings into action yet.”

Ruby eyes returning to Rhea, she saw the blonde grin up at her and wave, causing a few more fangirls to grow more excited. It wasn’t long before they were pointing out Gables, Mariah, Amber, Melon, and Tess beside the pool, her Ferroseed floating in the water. It was obvious what their question was: ‘Would the Mythical Meloetta be battling today?’

Ignoring their hype, even if she planned on giving Mariah a chance to compete, she realized Meloetta might be channeling more of her own internal conflict than she thought. The Meloetta was extremely shy and closed off, not liking to interact with new people when, generally, they were known to be quite extrovertive and social butterflies in lore.

“Hey, Lori,” she whispered, keeping her tone low and making the tall girl lean closer.

“What’s up?”

Hugging Serenity tighter against her chest, Amira set her heart but knew she needed a little push. “Can you…make sure I send a text but don’t look at it?”

Lori’s eyebrow lifted as she turned and put a hand on her hip. “That looked painful to ask. Uh, sure? If that’s what you need. C’mon into the shade. Too many Wingull around her, squawking for food. We’ll let Rhea swim with the Sharpedo for a bit. She’s bright enough to distract them anyway. Are we sure her hair doesn’t have Flash infused into it because that glare when the sun hits it!”

Amira chortled softly, yet she knew the pressure in her chest wouldn’t ease until she made the text. “It wouldn’t surprise me.”

Moving into the shaded zone, Amira pulled out her phone, isolating herself in a corner as she let Serenity hover down to the planks. Lori watched her retract the hologram screen onto the crystal device and hold it up to block her view. The message was short and as truthful as she could manage at the moment. Just as she feared, when finished, her fingers hovered over the button, and intrusive thoughts flowed out of the void within her mind.

Do I really need to do this? I can just ask in person later. It’s not like she’ll understand… What if she freaks out? It’s just like her to do that…

“Ms. Ruby!” Lori chimed, snapping her fingers to get her attention with a big grin. “Moon Stone to Fire Stone. You’re stalling! Woah, you good? Amira?”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, a quake running down her frame, Amira pressed the send key; immediately, she felt a wave of relief wash over her as she sank down to her butt. “It’s done.”

Lori knelt down and tugged her dress over her knees. “Yo, I’m one thing, Red—I’m always a mess—but you nearly flashing people? Naaa. Something bad’s going on. You good? Like, really. Are you okay?” she asked, her voice becoming a whisper.

Shoulders sagged, she chuckled. “I am now. I don’t think I’ll be getting the other badges with you. Not that I’m dropping out,” she quickly added at Lori’s shocked expression.

“Oh, good! Because I was about to call your mom and sound the SOS. You’re, uh…staying in Viridian until the Silver Cup, then? What’s going on? Should I get Rhea?”

“No, no. I’ll tell her,” Amira interjected with a real laugh, feeling somewhat free—liberated. At least, more free than she’d felt in a long time. “I’ve done everything I wanted in Silver-tier except for getting the Encrusted Earth Badge. That’s my goal. I have to get it.”

Looking down at her phone, she smiled while reading the text.

12:39 p.m. Amira: Mom, if you’re free, I need to spend some time with you when we get to Viridian. I’m going to beat Blaine. I bet you’ll be watching. I’ve got some problems I need to sort through. Personal problems. I can’t talk about it with anyone else… I’m scared, Mom. I’m alright right now. Just, when I get home. I need your help.

The response was almost instant.

12:39 p.m. Mom: I always have time for my baby girl. If it’s hard for you, then consider me the pesky yet adorable Snubbull nuzzling you to open up. I’ll be waiting. Love you.

12:39 p.m. Amira: Love you.

Pulling herself together, she puffed out a long breath of air and stood up, closing in to hug the surprised Unovan girl. “Thanks, Lori.”

“Okay, yeah, you’re sick as a Cubchoo! You’re freaking me out, Red!”

“I’m fine!”

“Says the Sinistea to the Mimikyu!”

* — * — *

Rhea frowned while breaking away from the throng to meet her friends on the next level. Their Pokemon followed as a horn blew, announcing that they were nearing the island. When she found them, Lori was blocking Amira in the corner, a stubborn look on her face.

“Woah! What’s going on?”

“Sunshine! Help me pin her down. I’ve got a killer tickle game to get it out of her.”

“I know melodrama is your thing, Lori, but give me a break,” Amira sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’m missing home a little. Can we go over our strategy for Blaine now? A little help, Rhea?”

Focusing her Aura, Rhea pulled the suspicious and forward Unovan girl away, eyeing Amira like she was an imposter. However, from what she felt, Amira’s heavy spirit had lifted dramatically. It was a good sign.

She held out her hand, flashing her teeth. “She’s doing better, Lori. I can tell. People are wondering if Mariah is going to battle.”

“I’m sure they are.”

Lori’s scowl didn’t falter. “Girl, you’re so full of it, but sure… I’m just worried. You’re like a brick wall when it comes to depressing Jinx, so it’s scary stuff, ya know? Are you not feeling up for Blaine this week? We can chill and train.”

Amira waved her hand dismissively while reaching down to pick up her salt-and-pepper spiked ball with an affectionate smile. “It’s not about the battle. No, I’m pretty confident. Amber is quite capable of handling Fire Pokemon.”

“Braixen-xen,” her haughty fox said, puffing up her chest, but Rhea noticed the look Amber gave her Trainer. “Braixen?”

“Mhm. We’re just about to dock…”

Rhea smiled at Lori to let her know that everything would be alright. The cloud that was hanging over Amira seemed to have dissipated, even if it hadn’t been due to their actions.

“Alright, let’s buckle down and get this badge!”

Rhea stepped off the ferry, her shoes sinking into the hardened volcanic soil as she absorbed the sight of Fire Gym Island. The jagged, black rock cliffs loomed against a backdrop of bright, cloudless blue, and for a moment, Rhea wondered if she’d accidentally stepped into a scene out of a legendary Pokémon movie straight out of Hollywood.

It had a stark, almost otherworldly feel with its fenced-off magma pools and Fire Pokemon roaming all over the place; the island’s entire aesthetic screamed ‘volcano,’ from the red, orange, and black decorations to the cleverly placed Pokémon standing sentry.

Small groups of Charmander, Growlithe, and Vulpix roamed freely, their puffed-out flames and dramatic showings adding a wild glow to the place. It was all an act. But the giant stadium at the heart of the island stood as a reminder—this was no natural volcano. Even the brochures stressed that, loudly proclaiming, ‘No Actual Volcanic Activity.’

It was flashy, a manufactured facade for tourists, and yet somehow Blaine had made it feel real enough to leave her belly squirming a little.

Rhea blinked away her wonder, walking beside her teammates with all of their Pokemon out and flanking them, staring around with interest. The redhead’s fiery hair matched the island’s light as if it belonged in the flames themselves.

The redhead gave a small wave, snapping Rhea out of her thoughts. Lori, grinning and bumping hips with her as if the stress of the boat ride had been a distant dream.

“You’re totally using Nova. That girl’s been dying for some action.”

“Pwe!” the Eevee roared from their feet, running around them with Mya, Lulu and Shae on their backs. “Pwe!”

“Neee!”

“Wile!”

“Ra-ra!”

“No, you’re right. She is the best choice, and Alice…” She paused with a giggle, seeing Amber and her locked in a speed and hand-eye coordination training, the fox trying to poke the bunny with her stick as the bun dodged. “Please don’t poke her eye out, Amber.”

“Lopunny!” she protested, saying to have some faith in her.

“Brai? Xen-xen!” the fox proclaimed, intensifying her jabs.

Amira reached down to stroke Amber’s head, momentarily interrupting their training. “Just be careful, girls.”

“Braixen…”

“Pun-pun.”

“Pretty wild place, though,” Lori noted as they regrouped, pushing her sunglasses up onto her head. “You’d think they were trying to convince us we’re about to battle in an actual volcano. Cool vibes. You could make an awesome music video here.”

“I think that’s the point,” Amira said, her voice flat as she gazed toward the stadium and split off from the tourist group to follow the signs to the competitor locker zone. “Though Blaine’s always been a showman from memory… He did a lot of work with my grandfather.”

Rhea nodded, recalling the controversies the renowned scientist had been a part of. “Yeah, growing up, whenever he’d come to the village, he was always coming down in some kind of Fire Spin. I’ll admit, it was impressive when I was a kid. It’s like this trademark. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him, to be honest. This whole island is his stage.”

The path leading up to the stadium was lined with torches, Fire Pokémon standing beside them as if guarding the entrance of the cave they were about to enter. Trainers and tourists alike split off into the appropriate sections, the air already humming with excitement.

As they walked the winding path down into the depths of the earth, glowing magma flowed safely from a distance across the dark underground cave they’d entered. Rhea glanced down at Nova, who bounced along beside her, the little Cosmog on her back glittering with delight. For a second, she wondered if she should give Lulu another shot but rethought it when considering the potential spike in difficulty and Blaine’s personality.

“Think you’re ready for this?” she softly asked, glancing between her Pokemon.

Nova let out a cheerful chirp, her fur bristling, waiting to transform.

Alice, on the other hand, did a few flips into the air, Amber chasing after her while jabbing her stick, looking for its mark. Her fierce eyes were lasered in and sharp with focus.

Rhea smiled at the contrasting responses. We’re ready.

They followed the signs pointing toward the gender-segregated changing area, and most of the group of Silver-tier competitors around them seemed a lot less impressed by it than them. Then again, most of them had probably already gotten the Bronze Badge in the volcanic-themed Gym.

“I’m glad we came early,” Amira said, scanning the locker room and finding a good spot to sit and observe the Bronze competitors. “This place is going to be packed by the time the main event starts, and I have a feeling you’ll likely kick off the Silver challengers, Rhea.”

Lori nodded, dropping into a cushy seat beside her and taking note of the nervous girls around the space, some of which were moving to the bathroom to throw up. “Makes sense. Lulu’s viral battle will no doubt drum up a lot of ratings with Rhea’s name being listed. I bet you or I will be swapped into the middle and end since we’re linked to Rhea.”

Rhea sighed while watching the current match, a Charmander facing off against a Pidgey. The Flying Pokemon had some good maneuvers, but Blaine’s Charmander’s sheer intensity was impressive, keeping the bird in constant movement with its peppering Embers.

“That’s Blaine’s style,” Amira commented, folding her arms. “Even his weakest Pokémon move like they’re in a life-or-death situation. ‘Full gas, full time’ is his literal motto… I’d thought a renowned scientist would have come up with a better one, to be honest.”

Rhea’s chest shook with silent laughter. “Yeah, my mom’s kind of the same way. They’re too busy thinking about their projects than what they’re actually called. Well, whatever Pokemon we face, I’m sure it’ll be fun.”


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