Soon after Kai’s return, his father summoned him and told him how his new life would now be built. In addition to studying, he would attend a special closed training center, where he would continue training in his future specialty, namely, to become a professional military man.
He had to visit this center on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. On these days he would have short classes with teachers, and then he would be taken there and taken away from there. Kai understood that the inevitable was approaching, it was swallowing him up and all his attempts, dreams, and hopes for another life were shattered into smithereens.
He began to object to his father furiously, fiercely. And then for the first time his father recognized his strength – he made a compromise. He understood that his son could not be persuaded, but he could enter into a contract. The agreement was simple: on the rest of the days, he could go to Prokhor after classes.
Kai was confused by this proposal. He realized that his father was now negotiating with him. He did not act harshly but tried to work out a joint agreement. Why? Probably because he was growing up and his character, will, and determination frightened his father. His father, as an adult and wise, decided that it was easier to come to an agreement with such a teenager than to enter into an open conflict.
Realizing this, Kai put forward his condition that he officially would stay with Prokhor overnight and return only to classes in the morning.
The father looked at him carefully. Kai shyly averted his eyes, he realized that his father as a man understood why his son needed these nights, and his father agreed. The father agreed because he understood that his son was growing up, and he wanted the son’s growing up period to pass faster. In Prokhor, he was not mistaken – this guy would give his son a good school of life, which would be useful to him later.
By making this addition to their agreement, they came to a mutually beneficial compromise.
But Kai’s mother argued with his father for a long time, considering him still small and not understanding why the boy should be allowed to spend the night not at home, but with some dubious friends.
***
So his new life began. Every day his personal teachers came to their house, and in the afternoon he was taken to this center. This closed institution was equipped according to the best canons of a spy thriller.
Behind a large fence, under guard, on a huge territory, there were several buildings. They had everything: aircraft control modulators, combat modulators, and in any element. There were strength training rooms, classes for theoretical lessons. In the courtyard, there were all types of techniques: from modern to historical.
Here Kai was taught everything. A lot of time was devoted to theory, including psychology. Kai knew what it was for. This was intelligence work, he was prepared for it: understanding a person, “reading” his thoughts, hiding his own. He studied the peculiarity of interrogation, information memorization, and much more. Kai liked these activities, in contrast to running around with a machine gun over rough terrain.
Kai was assigned instructors who worked only with him, only a small part of the classes he listened to in general classrooms – mostly he had individual lessons and personal teachers.
In this center, he met Senya, Vadik, and Mishka, who were very happy to see him, and only they brightened up his stay here at least a little.
The first time, when they were finally able to sneak out for a smoke break out of constant control, hugging the guys, Kai lit a cigarette, and Senya, looking at him, asked:
“How long are you here?”
“I don’t know, I’m here on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”
“Not the worst option,” Senya looked closely at Kai. “Have you changed your mind yet? Maybe you want to become a pro like we? Not a bad specialty,” he finished not quite confidently.
“No, it’s not mine.”
“Then what are you doing here?” Mishka asked irritably.
“They forced me, or rather, I made a compromise with my father: he doesn’t forbid meetings with my friends on other days.”
“Do you understand how serious all this is? You can’t get away from them. Then they will tighten the screws so that you will completely belong to them,” Senya looked at Kai, saying this.
“I understand, but I will find a way out, I will definitely find it!”
***
But there was no way out. He just lived, resigned to what was happening.
During all this time, he never found the strength to find his first love. He thought a lot about this: about her, about the fact that then between them began to emerge and everything was so rudely trampled. Then he realized that as long as he did not have the power to dispose of his own life, he could not break the life of another person. What could they have? Brief meetings, painful partings – that’s all. He does not have a future with her, he simply will not be allowed to build the future that he wants. This means that the result will be disastrous. He will bring pain to her. He will make her suffer, he will destroy her life. No, he doesn’t want that, he probably really fell in love with her, so he was not ready to hurt her now. He hoped, she had probably already been ill with their love during this time and it was not worthwhile to resume everything, no matter how hard it was for him from this thought. He was strong, he could handle it, he would survive this pain.
So a year passed. On holidays he was again sent to a camp near Moscow. There he stayed for two weeks in the fall, two weeks in the winter, and another two weeks in the spring. The rest of the time, his life went according to the plan approved by his father: he studied before lunch and then went to his friends.
And there life began, thanks to which he tolerated and endured everything that he had to accept. There were friends in his life, real boys. Now it was an adult company. Kai was the youngest in it, but the way he now began to fight and behave earned respect from everyone. Kai was unmatched in valor before and in all fights came out the winner, but now these activities in the special center influenced him. Now he beat, as Prokhor put it, “without a soul”, he simply beat, clearly controlling himself and his opponent, removing any manifestations of feelings. Kai was feared and respected. Prokhor was proud of his friend, but at the same time he understood how bad it was for him to live the life he did not want to live. Prokhor offered him a way out – to leave the house, but Kai did not go for it. Although the financial part of the issue had long been of no concern to their gang. Now they were doing serious business, and they had serious money. Now they had completely rented their entire communal apartment for themselves. Rather, they redeemed rooms from all tenants, resettling them quietly and peacefully.
However, at first, they wanted to buy more decent housing, but they liked it here, they got used to it. Therefore, they limited themselves to good repairs and new furniture. Now it was a huge apartment with rooms, Prokhor’s office, a common living room, and a huge kitchen. Someone constantly lived in the rooms, hung out in the living room, cooked in the kitchen. The apartment was always crowded, noisy, and fun. Kai liked it here. He liked hanging out with everyone, talking, spending the night in one of the rooms, and having breakfast with everyone in the kitchen in the morning.
His favorite time was from Saturday evening, when he came here after the center, here he could spend all Sunday and only on Monday morning go to his class.
Despite such a life schedule, Kai managed to be with Prokhor on his trips and showdowns. All this Kai did not like, but he was very worried about Prokhor and therefore was with him.
Prokhor felt his concern for himself and understood why he was traveling with him. Prokhor saw that all this was sickening to his friend, but he was going only because of their friendship. Prokhor appreciated this, appreciated real friendship, appreciated such a friend who was ready to go to hell and back for him.
On one of these trips, having arrived at the “rendezvous”, the showdown began, which grew into the shooting. At some point, Kai knocked a pistol out of the hands of one of the attackers, pointed at him, but did not fire. Another second – and Kai’s confusion would have given his opponent an advantage over him, as he pulled out the second pistol and pointed it at Kai. Prokhor fired first. The guy fell over. Kai stood there with a pistol in his hand.
The guys saw it too, but now there was no time for it. When it was over and they returned to the apartment, Prokhor grabbed Kai by the shoulders and, shaking him, said angrily:
“If you can’t shoot – don’t go with us. Sit here. We don’t need such people.”
Prokhor let him go and, without turning around, went into his study. The guys did not say anything, pretended not to notice him, went into the living room, on the way vigorously discussing today’s showdown.
Kai was left alone in the hallway. He stood in the dim corridor, then took his jacket and left the apartment.
It was spring, cold spring. The warmth hadn’t come here after a long winter. It was dripping with rain. It was dark, wet, and damp.
Kai just walked in this wet space, cars drove past, splashing him from puddles. It was already late. Rare passers-by hurried home. The rain was getting worse.
Kai put the hood of a sweatshirt over his wet hair and wrapped his leather jacket tighter. But the dampness and moisture had already penetrated under it – it was cold and disgusting.
It was disgusting to understand that now he was left all alone. Alone in this vast world. His friend turned away from him. But what did he do wrong? Was he supposed to shoot? To shoot a living person? For what? Why was he supposed to kill him? To kill a man. How scary it is! No. He doesn’t want to do it. Never, never. Even at the cost of your own life. After all, he saw how he aimed at him. Well, let him do it. Let him shoot. And he won’t shoot. Never.
Kai felt the moisture of the rain on his cheeks and eyelashes. He was hurt and hurt for not understanding by Prokhor. Yes, Prokhor saved his life today. But why didn’t he understand him? Why doesn’t he want to understand that he won’t shoot? To beat, to fight is not to kill. He will not take the life of another. Never.
A car stopped ahead, Prokhor got out of it. He went up to Kai, blocked his way, and intercepted his hand.
“Wait, have you decided to walk all night?” he said peacefully. “Well, you are cold,” Prokhor took his fingers in his palm. “Let’s go.”
“Let me go,” Kai tried to pull his hand. “I’ll go home.”
“Well, let’s go home and go, but only to me,” Prokhor grabbed Kai in an armful and pushed him into the car.
Once in the warm car interior, Kai went limp, realizing how cold and wet he was.
“Where are we going?” Kai asked, chattering his teeth and sniffing.
“To me, I’ve told you,” Prokhor took out his handkerchief and began to wipe his friend’s face and nose as if that was a little boy.
Kai weakly resisted, but the understanding that Prokhor had forgiven him and returned him deprived him of his strength.
“Have you forgiven me?” he asked uncertainly.
“What for? Oh, for your standing and waiting for a bullet. No, you will get more for this! What are you doing? Do you want to deprive me of such a friend ?! And how will I live on ?! Have you thought about me ?!” Prokhor was in high snuff. Now he was shouting all this menacingly in the car, again shaking Kai by the shoulders. “Why are you huddled in a corner? Scared? Can you guess how frightened I was when that moron aimed at you?”
“Sorry … but I couldn’t shoot …” Kai whispered.
“I know. That’s why I did it for you.”
“We’ve arrived,” said the bro from the front seat. “Shall we pick you up tomorrow morning as usual?”
“Yes, as always,” getting out of the car Prokhor said goodbye to everyone and dragged Kai towards the entrance.
Kai realized that Prokhor was taking him to his apartment. After the money appeared, Prokhor bought his own apartment and, as he later said, got himself a woman there. Prokhor believed that he shouldn’t be huddled in the rooms of their common apartment.
He also offered his friend to buy an apartment, but Kai refused, reasonably explaining that he had no time to live there and he did not need it now. And even more so, he liked to hang out with the guys in a shared apartment – it was fun and there was someone to talk to.
“Prokhor,” Kai spoke already in the elevator. “You don’t seem to live alone, why do you need me there?”
“I have many rooms. Do you think I leave my friend, frozen, wet, hungry, or what?”
“But …”
“No buts about it,” smiled Prokhor.
The doorbell was answered by a very beautiful tall blonde, dressed as if she was going to the theater – even in high-heeled shoes.
Prokhor, seeing the admiring look of his friend at his choice, proudly kissed the blonde on the lips, and briefly explained to her about Kai. Despite all her doll-like beautiful appearance, the blonde, whose name was Masha, turned out to be a very sweet and kind girl. She immediately took the initiative into her own hands. She pushed Kai into the bath. She ran a bath for him herself, said that she would then take care of his wet clothes, but in the meantime, she brought him a tracksuit, which, however, hung on him, but was warm and comfortable. From the bathroom, she immediately brought him to the kitchen, where the table had already been laid, and there they drank vodka for three. Moreover, Kai was poured more – for purely medicinal purposes.
Then Masha and Prokhor took the half-asleep Kai to his room, where a bed was made for him and where he quickly fell asleep in the warmth and feeling of home comfort.
***
Kai woke up – these were just memories of that distant life. Now he was here in this desert, alone in this endless space with no chance of salvation and only faint hope for a miracle.
In the desert, it gets dark quickly, the sun is setting, the heat subsides. Probably it was the heat that inspired all these memories in his brain. He got on the plane again, soon it would be dark and cold. He needed to eat. What for? He just needed to drink, and then wrap himself in a parachute cloth and fall into oblivion, being transported back to his past, to Moscow …
Summer was coming again in Moscow, dusty and hot. For the summer, Kai was again sent to a camp near Moscow, but already different. There were no teenagers in this camp; everything here was already adultly. Again there was a barracks lifestyle, early waking up, and then classes in the classroom. This was where the real teaching of everything started. In addition to military espionage science, as Kai mentally called these classes, he was taught additional, expanding his knowledge and abilities. Much attention was paid to foreign languages, secular etiquette, even music, and dance. At least it made Kai happy. Since childhood, he loved music lessons and played the piano well, but here his abilities were in demand as if he was preparing for a world tour with a concert program.
There were also dancing classes, which also pleased him, the teacher turned out to be a sweet girl, several years older than him. Plastic Kai was good at any dances; the teacher was pleased with his results. Soon, their dancing began to develop into something more intimate between them. And since they were mostly alone in the dance class, the door began to be locked, and then the dance movements between them were completely different. It brightened Kai’s stay here.
In this camp, he again met the inseparable trinity – Senya, Vadik, and Mishka. With them, he ran to smoke and chat, because everyone else was, by Kai’s definition, “real” military and could, like robots, talk only about everything connected with the army. Undivided trinity was not yet so zombified, and it was possible to chat with them. Senya quickly saw through the affair with a dance teacher and then regularly teased him on this topic, but kindly. They repeatedly helped him organize meetings and retire in different parts of the building with classes, and they were the lookout. Having found friends and having a love affair, this summer for Kai was not even as stressful as the previous ones. To the delight of all the teachers, he studied well, quickly absorbed all the knowledge, and made them happy in the tests.
Besides theory, there was a lot of practice here. Here he took courses in military surgery, he was taken to a closed hospital, where the military from troubled areas lay.
In addition to this practice, they regularly traveled to the airfield, where Kai, for the first time after training simulators, scrambled a helicopter into the air, and then a combat aircraft. He did it well. He felt the vehicles, so he navigated them confidently and competently. But he didn’t like it: either the height, or the flight, but nobody asked him about it.
By the end of the summer, when there were no signs of trouble, they were alerted at night and taken to the airfield. Kai dozed in the car, taking this as another teaching. All were loaded onto a transport plane. The plane flew for a long time, upon arrival they were placed in barracks, from which it was impossible to leave. They gave them food and rest. Then again raising the alarm, distributing weapons, warning everyone that it was combat. The commander gave the task – to destroy a group of militants. They were put into a helicopter and it took off.
He understood that this was no longer a game, that he was where everything was for real. But he didn’t want that! He didn’t want to shoot – only there was no way out, the helicopter was flying, Senya, Vadik, and Mishka were sitting opposite him. From their faces, he understood that they were also the first time on such a flight and that they also understood that it was not military exercises.
Their group of fifteen was landed on a mountainside. It was night, they quietly moved somewhere, then lay in the stones.
Then those they were waiting for appeared. A shootout began. Kai did not shoot, he could not, could not see a man in the sight of a machine gun and pull the trigger.
The militants were successfully “cleared”, their ambush was a surprise for those and their position was unfavorable, they were at a glance. Kai realized that they were taken out to shoot people. He was sitting there, leaning against a stone, clutching the machine gun with his hands.
Everyone saw that he did not shoot. If not for Senya and his guys, who protected Kai from contemptuous ridicule, he would have gotten from everyone. The commander didn’t say anything, but Kai understood his attitude towards himself after today’s battle. Although the guy didn’t care. He made a decision that he would not shoot!
They walked back, it was already dawn. The helicopter was not far away. Many walked in a relaxed manner, knowing that they would be taken away, and then the shooting began. They were ambushed. And now their position was very unprofitable – only small stones behind which they could hide. By the number of automatic rounds, it became clear to everyone that the enemy was superior in strength.
The guys were shooting back. Kai was just sitting behind a rock and watching. A wounded man fell near him, this guy was from a nearby barracks. The guy was shot in the forearm, he writhed in pain. Another fell on the other side of him, and Kai realized that he was dead, looking into his open, unblinking eyes. And then Mishka fell, Kai ran up to the lad, raised him – the hand holding his head was wet with warm liquid. Not only blood flowed from Mishka’s head, he realized that it was also brains. Several explosions thundered, two guys ran past him and pressed themselves to a stone. He saw fear in their eyes.
Then he took the machine gun and started shooting.
He moved quickly and from an open position moved to the side slope, there were more stones and a better view of those who shot them. The skirmish gradually developed into close combat. Kai fought when he was attacked and fired when possible. How long it took and how many people he picked off – he did not know. Then everything was quiet. He wiped the bloody knife, which he had taken out of the body of the militant he had killed, and looked around. Despite the numerical superiority of the militants, they killed them all. But their losses were also tangible. Of the fifteen people, five were killed and seven were wounded, three of them seriously. There was not a scratch on Kai.
Their commander was also wounded, now he was looking at Kai, who was providing first aid to his comrades.
Then helicopters came and were taken away.
Upon arrival at the barracks, Kai plopped down on the bunk. No, he had no stress, no shock, no hysteria. It was just that at that moment he realized that they had forced him to step over this line – he began to kill people. He realized that he did not control his life, that he was just a pawn in their game.
Kai refused food, refused everything at all. He was just lying on the bunk. Then his commander came with a bandaged hand, said that a plane had been sent for him and he would now be returned to the base.
Only then did he get out of bed and go to the plane.
At the base, he continued to behave in the same way. He just lay there and stared at the ceiling – then ran away. He had studied the entire security system of the base long ago: all posts, their changes, and locations found weaknesses in the protection of the fence. After waiting for the night and calculating the time for passing the guard, he passed all the posts and climbed over the fence.
In the afternoon he called Prokhor from the phone, having entered the management office. He did not explain anything to Prokhor, he simply said where to wait for him in the car.
The car was already waiting for him. Prokhor was there, he hugged him and understood from his eyes that something had happened. They drove in silence. All the boys were waiting for them in the apartment, no one was sleeping when they learned that Kai was coming.
They went into the living room.
“Have you escaped from them?” finally, Prokhor spoke up.
“Yes.”
“Tell me, or do you want to talk to me alone first?”
“No, everyone should know this,” Kai paused, went to the window, began to speak without turning. “Yesterday I killed people. A lot. I don’t even know how many there were. They made me do it. We were taken to a hot spot. While they were cleaning the militants, I did not shoot, and when we were returning, we were ambushed. There were more of them, the guys with whom I flew on this mission were falling dead next to me, and then I started shooting …”
“Pour cognac, quickly!” commanded Prokhor to the boy standing next to him, and he went up to Kai, hugged him. “You had no choice – on, drink.”
Prokhor practically forcibly began to pour cognac into Kai’s parted lips, realizing that Kai was not here now.
He had already drunk the third glass himself. Prokhor made him sit down at the table and drink. He poured him more and more. The boys were understandingly silent, realizing what they had heard. And Prokhor realized that now his friend had killed more people than he had in all this time. But he didn’t care, but Kai did. Prokhor knew that all this his training would be reduced to such a result. Only he hoped not so soon.
Now Prokhor did not ask his friend about his plans and what he decided to do. Prokhor understood that today the best thing for his friend was simply to forget.
Kai was dressed in a khaki uniform, naturally, before escaping, he did not change clothes, and there was nothing – all civilian clothes had been locked. Prokhor first saw him in the military. Kai looked different, it suited him, the uniform gave him aggressiveness and severity. The guys saw it too and even a little stood aside from him. Now here, although he was the youngest, but in all other respects, he surpassed them.
Only by lunchtime the next day Kai came to his senses. Prokhor, finding him in the bathroom, took him from there and led him into the kitchen, where one of the boys had already prepared soup and the second, and where, under Prokhor’s control, he ate it all.
“Will you still drink?” Kai realized that Prokhor was not asking him about water.
“No. Give me time to think now. OK? I’ll go into the room,” seeing Prokhor’s worried face, he explained. “Don’t worry, I won’t do stupid things. But I need to think it over. I must find a way out of this.”
“Okay, but will you tell me what you will decide?
“Yes.”
The rest of the day Kai was sitting in the room, staring unseeingly out the window. Now he had something to think about. His life changed dramatically. It was impossible to return anything. His hands were covered with blood, he felt it physically. But the future … he understood what future these people had prepared for him. So must he obey them? No, never! He will fight! He will change everything. He will build his life, he will not allow it to be disposed of. It doesn’t belong to them.
And Kai made a decision.
When he left the room, Prokhor understood from his face that his friend had decided everything.
“Do you want to talk?” Prokhor asked him.
“Yes. Everyone should know,” he sat down at the table in the living room. “Now the only lever of pressure on me is you, Prokhor, wait, listen, you know about the agreement with my father – that I attend all these military exercises for permission the rest of the days to be with you. My father used this, I agreed. Now the game has changed. Now they are making me an assassin, a mercenary, a puppet who will do what they want to do at their command. I don’t want to be their dog on a leash,” Kai paused, looked at Prokhor. “I must end this once and for all. I’ll go back to my father now. I want them to understand that there is no longer any leverage over me. I won’t come here again … for some time at least. I don’t know how long it will take for them to understand that I cannot be persuaded or broken.”
Prokhor was silent, realizing that now this is the only way out.
“I’ll wait. As much as it needs. If you need help, let me know. OK?” he said dryly and briefly.
“Yes.”
“Do you want to go home now?”
“Yes. I don’t want them to come here to take me.”
Prokhor came up and hugged Kai, then all the boys in turn. Then they walked in silence to the cars. Kai was taken to the gate of his house. There he got out of the car and, without turning around, went to the door with a bell.
“Is there anything we can do for him?” one of the guys asked Prokhor.
“No, not now. Just to wait …”
***
Then hell began for Kai. When his father realized that the blackmail in the form of Prokhor was no longer going away, he began to hold many hours of conversations with him about his duty and honor. Mom also joined these discussions. At first, his two older brothers also admonished him about his duty and their family traditions, then they simply decided to give him like a brother a good beating, but in this, they were very disappointed. They didn’t expect Kai to fight like that. Being taller and wider in the shoulders, with well-developed muscles and also having the skills of hand-to-hand fighting, they were powerless in front of his art of reflecting and delivering blows. Within a couple of minutes, they were lying scattered around the room. After that, they no longer approached him.
His family changed the tactics of communicating with him. If at first, they tried to influence him by playing on family feelings, then realizing that Kai was adamant in his decision, they showed their true attitude towards him – his complete contempt and ignorance.
Kai was ready for this, although it was painful and offensive, he was ready.
One evening he was again invited by his father, again tried to convince him that his calling was to be in the military, and to shoot at the enemy was a duty and nothing more. Seeing that Kai was unbreakable, his father was silent for a long time, then he spoke:
“They won’t leave you. You have exceeded all their expectations. You are the best and they will do anything to get you to work for them. You see, anything.”
“I do not care. I will not work for them. You can tell them this,” Kai turned and left, realizing that he had nothing more to talk about with his father.
Three days later, his mother was shot, a bullet hit the lung; shot in the center of Moscow when she got out of the car, heading to the store. She was operated on, the bullet was removed. But she had a weak heart. Therefore, everyone was afraid of the complications and consequences of this operation.
Kai wanted to go to her, he ran out into the street when his father got into the car.
“Father, I’m with you,” he ran to the car.
“I warned you, I asked you, you did not hear me. Well, got it?”
His father slammed the car door in his face. Kai’s legs gave way, only now he realized who and for what had shot his mother. He barely reached his room, slid down the wall to the floor, realizing that there was not enough air.
So he sat and looked into space, but even then he knew that now everything was over for him, the trap had slammed shut – he was completely theirs.
