There was an important detail that Epsilon was not aware of regarding what he felt and why he was feeling it. It was the Trial of Law. This was a test in a trance-like state and in the dreamish dimension that pulled in the individual who had comprehended a law. If not for this trance-like state itself, it would several problems to the individual’s mental condition. The Trial of Law dragged comprehender of a law and then put the individual in difficult emotional stages to understand what kind of person would be the new Law Being.
Law Beings were near-mythical existence. In the whole universe, their numbers would not even reach millions. When a whole universe was taken into the consideration, a million people were not even a fragment of a fraction.
With billions of living beings, across an equal number of races, the overall strength of living entities could only be imagined. Even the number of individuals who had some form of sentience, such as human beings, could not be counted across the known and the unknown of the universe. At best, a single planet could measure what its populace accounted to.
Considering the big picture, the one million or lesser Law Beings were exactly that speckle of dust that one would miss in the blink of an eye. There was one more fact about the Trial of Law. It was that if one who comprehended the law could not pass the trial, the Trial of Law would destroy the being. Epsilon was no exception to this rule. This was one of the reasons why there were not many Law Beings. Even if one individual had power and knowledge to start being a law being itself, they would most likely be stopped in the Trial of Law.
The knowledge of the Trial of Law was not well known even among the small circle of people who were familiar with Law and Power of Law. Because after the Trial of Law passed, other than a new understanding of himself, the target being would not remember being pulled into this trial. It was why no book had any mention or reference to the Trial of Law. If this trial was known to people, there would be even fewer who would try to seek the power of Law.
Epsilon’s breathing had become erratic but he focused on steadying himself as much as possible, weighing in and considering how to solve the problem at hand. By now, he already understood there was something awry about his state. He must be controlled by external power or he must be facing something more powerful than anything he dealt with before.
—
Epsilon’s logic was not questionable. Too bad though that the thing he was fighting so fiercely against was none other than his subconscious, his feelings, his very nature and the kind of person he was.
This was one of the most problematic things for most people. A king can kill many people, can conquer many lands but the tough thing was conquering himself, his state of life and his being with power. It would always be problematic for the being in context. Everyone knew about this but those who understood would always fear encountering themselves. Because of these thoughts, they form a protective shield and defensive measures to shield themselves. They would do this by focusing on their positives, not looking at their weaknesses or even delving deep into the demons of their minds. It was something that humans and in fact most other sentient beings devised as a means to safeguard their mind and soul.
A sentient being was always scared of its thoughts. In the case of humans, a long-forgotten king had explained this best in a single sentence.
‘There was no potential limit to the evil in the human soul and mind.’
It was a basic quote but showed how humans were capable of evil doing. In Epsilon’s original world, before he was reborn, on Earth, almost all technologies improved and were created because of human’s intent to kill each other. If not for the past wars of humanity on Earth, almost no technology would have progressed as it did. Even if done in the name of peace, it was always underlined with evil.
It was a race that improved its technology just so that it could kill its own with more precise and deadly means. Even the science of medication had improved as humans perfected more means to kill their enemy humans easily and on a larger scale. Epsilon thought all of these with great care and consideration. It was not the best of thoughts but he knew that in the end, life was just like that.
So, what were his demons? Why was he feeling this intense urge to own everything and anything that did not fall in line with that desire, should be destroyed by his own hands? Why was he feeling unspeakable rage towards those who did not want him in the first place? Why was he placing himself above all others and that they should accept what he said without contradiction?
The problem was not ordinary and for solving it, Epsilon needed to find a reason to live and feel more. If not for these thoughts and this mindset, he would not be able to break this hurdle. History was marked with examples of many greats that fell into the depths of arrogance and only took paths of self-destruction for their mind and soul after that. Why was he feeling arrogant? Epsilon kept asking himself this question repeatedly but he noticed that he was only ending in an unsolvable loop. If the problem was such that could not be solved, then what could he do to change his perspective?
What was the solution for arrogance and how to deal with it? Epsilon used every inch of his mind and soul, and everything he could muster up in him to find this answer.
Just then, he heard the sound of a water droplet. He searched for the location of the sound and suddenly felt a moment of truth. He was over-thinking the problem. Most of the time people were not clear about what they were looking for. Even if their basic direction may be right, their specific thought process may not be. He realized what was the answer he was seeking.
The answer was age-old ‘gratitude’. Once this thought formed in his mind, Epsilon let out a crazed laugh. He noticed that his understanding of the events that had just unfolded in his head was not even remotely in sync with what he was imagining. He smiled ear to ear and without a care. He then released a deep breath and whispered.
“I am grateful to everything for my power.”
