Chapter 62: The three scenarios for the goblins

While Eel couldn’t seem to be f***** with the strangeness of the village Fuka was different.

She was the groups ‘people person’ despite what one may think about her sexual proclivities or about her ‘lowly accent’. Between the one-track minded bunny who wanted to only penetrate everyone in sight (whether with her sword or dick), the demonic hatchling who woke up ten years back only to decide violence was the answer, Promicarus who was… She wasn’t exactly anti-social but Fuka was sure ‘social’ was anti-her. The only ‘normal’ member was the cow-turned-succubus but she was timid which maybe meant she wasn’t normal?

Who’s heard of a succubus who wasn’t a people person?

Hoping any of the former three looked any more than surface level into the village’s inhabitants was less than pointless. Emily might have however Fuka couldn’t be sure since it completely depends how gushy she was being with Eel. They were just approaching the village heads house yet they had already seen quite a few people milling about with smiles on their faces all the while they were here to deal with a gobo den.

It was strange no matter how you looked at it; goblins were just mini bandits who didn’t need to make any friends. Unlike the bandits who were often made of downtrodden people from the {Core-Races} – thus often would need to purchase stuff like ‘fresh food’ – goblins had no such chances unless it was a very liberal country. Plus unlike bandits who may just ‘impose a protection tax’ to fleece benefits goblins were… They were honestly pretty dumb.

Thus they wouldn’t care about destroying any villages they came across for the short-term benefit of fresh food and tools.

If that goblin tribe was also big enough to produce a few ogre’s it would also be shocking if they weren’t out murdering the occasional hunter in the forest. She also didn’t believe a tribe that big didn’t have enough ‘scouts’ to discover the village here – they certainly weren’t hidden deep in the mountains or something. There were even some quite healthy fields  outside in the open that no goblin could resist raiding.

Yet all the people seem fresh faced with no perceivable damage having been done to the village which was beyond strange to Fuka. She could clearly tell from their body language and mannerisms that either all these people were either superior actors beyond what she had ever seen or simply had no worries above the usual. Knocking on the aged wooden door of the house she couldn’t help but have thoughts about the reasons for the oddly normal village.

Looking around as she did that she did notice a few adventurer types about yet from the stances they took and their general gait… They didn’t seem like much. Maybe E-rankers mulling about before heading back to the previous village; she didn’t count out on their being some D-rankers she didn’t notice. Still a D-ranker or two weren’t able to deal with an ogre. If a tribe was big enough to exile multiple ogres they had to be strong enough to enforce that exilement else the ogre would become their plight. A plight that was angry at being removed from their home.

The only thought that made sense to her was maybe the adventurers were good at culling the chaff of the goblin tribe so in their endless genius the tribe believed the area around the village to be home to some sort of beast? The goblins would thus avoid the area believing it to be nothing but death while the villagers who were none the wiser lived on like they weren’t neighbouring a giant goblin tribe. She wasn’t sure of how probable that was so she would have to turn to the only person she could trust…

“Emily, what do ya think about how the villagers are, you noticed how strange it is?” <Fuka>

“Seems pointless to worry about the small details; as long as they’re not running around screaming about the end of days we don’t need to change anything fufufu~” <Eel>

“I’ll grant thou an epic end of days before this journey’s end!” <Promicarus>

“Grow a real chest then we’ll talk, k~?” <Eel>

Of course the cow girl was still hugging the arm of the dragoness who lazily rested her back against the wall of the house – Eel didn’t seem too interested in the villagers but she wasn’t their leader for her shining personality. She was their leader because she knew how to get s*** done when it mattered. Emily on the other hand gently nodded her head as she turned to look towards Fuka.

She softly held her chin while thinking about what to say – the succubus’ gaze slowly lowering and her brow tensed. It appeared as if all possibilities were running through her mind at a speed faster than she could ever comprehend. Unlike Eel or the crazy girl Emily used her brain power towards more than just causing chaos (or finding clever ways to beat up the other without anyone noticing).

<Unlike me or Lyd’s those three are also smart…>

It wasn’t that Fuka had no confidence in herself.

She just knew for a fact that her little mushy brain couldn’t match up to the previous two now three midgets in front of her. Even if they appeared dumb at times they were clever – although they didn’t always use their smarts. Take Eel’s rampant refusal to understand humans since she finds them ‘dumb’ and ‘overcomplicated’ or Promicarus… She’s just strange.

Even at this very moment the tanned girl had her arms crossed while resting her back against the wall. She was on the opposite side of the door to Eel yet she didn’t take her eyes of the purple haired dragoness. Instead her facial expressions clearly cycled through a range of emotions Fuka stood no chance of understanding despite being great at reading people.

<She’s certainly far different in Elizabeth’s presence than she was with me alone… They do say love changes people so since hate is a different face on the same coin maybe it does the same thing? Though whether they really hate each other is not something I’m being paid to figure out.>

Fuka just moved her hands up to remove the armoured helm from her head before tucking it under her left arm – right moving up to scratch her head while she let out a sigh. Luckily their resident think tank had completed her simulations. Gazing at Fuka once more Emily’s timid but astute voice came with answers.

“I can think of a few possible scenarios for this outcome…

1st scenario; adventurers around are scaring away the goblins. I’m sure you thought about this one since goblins are just like any other race – if something bad happens in a place they have no information about they’ll avoid that place. Such behaviours are more Eel’s specialty so I can’t say how likely it would be. It’s got all sorts of factors I’m not sure on but either way it’s not a long term solution. Eventually they’ll change leaders and that leader will get angry that nobody returns from there so a stampede would result…

2nd scenario; a C-rank or higher party is actively fighting against the goblins. But goblins sleep for very little time so usually are active both during day and night; a C-rank party wouldn’t be able to deal with such a strong tribe themselves so they would be better to just stay in the village as a deterrent. Which is fine enough but if they were truly a party like ours around we wouldn’t be coming here since they’d have wiped out the tribe.

We’re either out of the job or it’s just another band of D-ranks… Well there may be a C-Rank but I don’t sense anyone strong enough to fit the role. I can’t sense skill though which is why I didn’t rule out the possibility of a C-Rank adventurer but I’m not hopeful.

3rd scenario; this one is the worst for us. Someone with a higher intellect is leading the goblins this time leading to them being more cautious or just not interested in little gains like this village. Best case scenario is some weak dark mage controlling the goblin’s leader but it can get far worse… Yet maybe the leader isn’t too competent if it’s mind control? If they were to choose a stronger monster than a goblin it would be far faster…” <Emily>

Strangely it was Promicarus who spoke up in reply to Emily first. Of course, she wasn’t polite or doting but crossed her arms under her bust with her nose held high in the sky. Eel looking over couldn’t help wondering what she’d do if I bird shat on her while she was like that. Maybe she enjoys the smell of bird droppings?

Elizabeth Jr. Bloodleaf may have forgotten the fact that she was no less prideful.

“Do not be naive and underestimate the benefits of raw numbers; goblins are fast to reproduce and even faster gain strength if one knows how to guide them. Just look at thine own paladin that’s standing right in front thou! Thy managed to keep up with both of thou (heroine & succubus) despite bein’ close in birth years despite having not even having a covenant with a god of notable worth’. Most paladins wouldn’t even be able to achieve the D-Rank without such.

She may not be as completely on the same level but none would be closer – something I’d attribute to her goblin blood as well as her own talent.” <Promicarus>

“So you know something or two about training goblin tribes up, do you~?” <Eel>

With those words all four of the other party members turned to look towards Promicarus with clear suspicion written across their faces.

“H-hey, this one hast nothing to do with mineself – I have no interest in the beast hidden within since I thought it would be too pitiful to serve me any use!” <Promicarus>

“Uhuh~…” <Eel>

Soon the stares became unbearable despite the tanned girl looking to not meeting them. Their gazes became so heavy that even facing away she could still feel them boring a hole through the back of her perfectly bleached hair. Their suspicion was palpable!

“… It may also have something to do with feeling holy power from a notable god in the church keeping me from trying to break down the barrier…” <Promicarus>

“Was that so hard fufufu~!” <Eel>

“The day ragnarok comes to fruition I’m coming for you first…” <Promicarus>

The other three party members were already beginning to adapt to these two’s constant biting at one another. Fuka did think about Emily’s words though while Emily thought about Promicarus meanwhile Lyada thought about how good Fuka’s butt looked in that plate armour. Each one of them had important things to consider.

“So how likely would be the first, Eel?” <Fuka>

“Hm~?” <Eel>

Hearing Fuka Elizabeth Jr. turned away from Promicarus cutting their banter short. Looking up for a second on how to answer, letting her lips push forward as she shifted her perfectly grafted jaw from side to side in thought. After a second she turned down to answer in the simplest manner she could.

“With how long this problem has apparently been going for; not very. Only reason adventurers are here is to run away from this shitty country forcibly making them fight – if the goblins were a recent thing a D-Rank party passing through ought to have dealt with them. For them not to do that would mean it’s not been a big enough problem to bother – likely the reason why the quest isn’t considered urgent until the shitty church begins thinking about doing their job.

As it is now they’ve grown far too strong thus had to have time to grow. If they had moved from a further location up to here then the problem would mean they already have a competent enough leader that wouldn’t fall for such easily disprovable fiction… Plus I doubt every goblin that saw a human was killed so they should know the village is here. These fools couldn’t track a human baby down let alone a crafty gobo scout.” <Eel>

Now that was a very curious opinion but as their leader and hunter… Well it certainly was one filled with nothing but truth. Unfortunately that just left them with far more troubling 50/50 for the last two scenarios. At least they can be assured that it wasn’t Promicarus with a dumb ploy for now?

“What’s taking so long with this old man…” <Eel>

The impatient hunter pushed her back off from the house while slowly strolling around the house to see if she could find what was happening… Maybe to see about a point of entry that wasn’t obvious. For Elizabeth Jr. it was yet another 50/50.

“What, looking forward to beating up more elderly humans?” <Promicarus>

“Hm… Some of them could be quite skilled in fighting so maybe? The two in here don’t have that much lifeforce but seem to be talking with some younger people so maybe they’re somewhat skilled. Definitely no competent mages. Either Way, nobody that’s clearly as strong as us so not too interested unless they’re some hidden expert.” <Eel>

“I don’t know what I expected…” <Promicarus>

Despite Eel’s complaints they didn’t have to wait too much longer before someone eventually came to open the door for them.

Much to Eel’s disappointment and everyone else’s expectations, a youngish man (older than any of them) who seemed a bit too thin for a farmer but just right for a village chief’s son came to answer the door. He looked at the group of girls with confusion clear on his face while also taking note of the strange details of the group. Obvious details being the horns & ears of Emily, the bright purple hair as well as the overall noble appearance of Elizabeth and Promicarus.

He quickly turned to Fuka who seemed to be the most normal looking of the bunch with clear fear that some noble child and her pets came to cause trouble for them.

“Can I help you?” <Future-Chief>

“Yes, we’re adventurers sent from the guild to deal with the goblin tribe to the south, this is the right village?” <Fuka>

His appearance showed more bewilderment but Fuka was used to this situation as the parties spokesperson when Eel was too lazy… Or they didn’t want to start a fight.

“Despite their height each of those three could destroy this village and perhaps even a regular city… Although {Shanta City} may be impossible if they were by themselves – they could at least make sure to kill everyone else other than the count. Though normally cities aren’t ruled by a Drake so I’m sure you can understand their strength. Can we come in now?” <Fuka>

Hearing that the man went from bewilderment to fear as he literally quaked in his boots while stepping aside to let them in. He tried to say something but upon realising that he may offend them if he continued wasting their time he just bit his lip. Poor sod even closed his eyes as if he was afraid they’d go all cultivator on him for looking at them. Though the three girls he was scared of ignored him.

They walked in with Fuka taking the lead (for what should be obvious reasons) they walked into a room where an elderly man was in front of four adventurer types.

The four just looked like a bog standard D-rank with decent armour you could buy at any decent town and standard weapons. Their proud looks while surrounded by weak villagers as well as E-Rankers proved their ranking to Eel and the gang. Though they didn’t seem like the most troublesome types, Fuka decided to step back to let Eel take the lead into the room since her intimidation would make things easier. They may not pick a fight but Fuka expected they may try to get the old man to refuse them due to their pride not letting them believe little girls could be stronger.

As expected when she entered instead of the man from before, the five men in the room  turned to look at Eel with confusion.

“W-what are you five girls doing here? This is no place fo-” <Village Chief>

A regal smile filled with the confidence only royalty could manage caused the chief to stop speaking and instead wait for Elizabeth Jr. to speak in his stead. Say what you wanted about her dislike for politics… With a smile like that she could become a great one.

“Me and my party (plus one) have decided to accept the quest to deal with the goblins in the old church – south of here I believe. We just came to learn any information you could provide and also report that we’re heading out. I hope you understand but we don’t want to spend too much time in this village.” <Eel>

It was clear to everyone listening; that was no request but an order. Almost on instinct the old man went to follow through as he began to point at the map on the table in front of him. Though just as expected one of the adventurers stuck his hand out in front of the old man to prevent him from moving. With a peeved off glare he stared at Eel with a smile that wasn’t quite a smile.

“I don’t know which noble house you came from brat but we’re adventurers and this is no place for you to play around. Those goblins would require the power of at least a C-Rank party which means not even we can take them out let alone you. I think you should get going back to your manor an-” <D-Rank Leader>

“Mineself cannot recall a moment in which we requested his half-brained assessment on whether we could purge a few goblins.” <Promicaus>

“Funny, for once I agree with you Pom-Pom fufufu~.” <Eel>

“Oh, I also seem to be agreeing thy, Bloodleak muhahaha~.” <Promicarus>

“One point to Beth…” <Emily>

“Clearly the ref is paid off by illicit favours!” <Promicarus>

While the three girls were having their fun the adventurers certainly wasn’t. The one who was most worried was the village chief who was afraid he would be counted as an accessory to the murder of a noble! The four adventurers stood up while the closest to the door reached out to grab Eel by the hair.

“I think you lot need to-” <D-Rank Leader>

“Oh~ did you have an opinion you wanted me to hear because I’m all ears~!” <Eel>

That normal request was anything but normal as golden dragon-like pupils appeared in her grey eyes while her grin seemed to evolve into something more beautiful. The bloody ring around her iris seemed to be sharp enough to cut through their soul. Even worse was the pressure that came out of her forced the men back into their seats with cold sweat on their bodies – the one who attempted to grab her was unfortunate and passed out on the floor. He landed with an especially heavy *thud* while Eel just stepped over his body to look at the map on the table.

Fuka decided now was a good opportunity to ask since they wouldn’t be here for very long.

“So, how many goblins have these four adventurers dealt with?” <Fuka>

“N-none miss knight, they just got here today.” <Village Chief>

Although he got that wrong nobody ever got it right so she just continued on for the sake of finding some answers.

“Any other D-Rank or above parties helping to thin the goblins?” <Fuka>

“No, they always just pass through since the goblins don’t really go that far out from the church so our hunters just avoid that area.” <Village Chief>

This made Fuka frown since it made the third scenario the most likely…