In the evening, numerous monks tapped on wooden fishes in the hall, the resulting rhythm making people feel calm. The leaves of the ancient tung tree next to the enclosing wall shone with golden light. With a gust of breeze, the tree branch shook, causing a few leaves to slowly fall to the ground.
Suddenly, a chime came from not far away. The bell chimes were very clear as if they could directly pierce through people’s spirits.
Two people strolled side by side in the Fire Temple. Chigo continuously pointed at various sceneries as he introduced them to Uchiha Tonan.
“The history of the Fire Temple is too long. The exact written records can be traced back to before the samurai era.”
“This is where the monks perform the morning services.”
“This is where the monks live.”
……
In between Chigo’s various descriptors, Tonan asked, “Master Chigo, are you already the Temple Master?”
Chigo nodded, “Yes after I returned the last time, I became the Temple Master.”
Tonan nodded hearing this. As he looked around, he saw a beggar curled up in a corner in the temple. Looking doubtful, he asked, “What is that person doing?”
Chigo followed Tonan’s gaze and sighed, “That’s a frustrated man. In the past, he used to come to the temple to burn incense and pray regularly. He even made a lot of donations to the temple. Now that he met with misfortune, it’s not good for us to drive him away. We give him porridge every day. But he remains like this even after a while, we’ll have to send him down the mountain.”
Tonan frowned, “And let him fend for himself?”
Chigo put his palms together as if praying for that person in his heart and then helplessly said, “Although it’s cruel, there’s nothing we can do about it.”
Tonan asked in confusion, “Can’t you enlighten him?”
Chigo pointed to a monk who was walking over with a bowl of porridge, “Look over there.”
The monk walked over to the beggar. He was in no rush to give the porridge and persuaded the beggar first, “Benefactor, as long as you don’t have any distracting thoughts in your heart, you can let go of anything. Why bother like this?”
The beggar raised his head and Tonan finally saw his face. His eyes were hollow. His skin was dark, and his beard had grown long because it wasn’t trimmed for a long time. He looked very shabby. He kept lying on the ground and muttered, “I’ve lost all my family property. My wife and children have been taken away to offset the debt, what else can I do now? Stop talking. Let me eat, I’m starving to death.”
As if to prove his hunger, he rubbed his stomach and leaned on the steps, stretching out his hands to take the bowl.
Tonan turned to Chigo, “This is not the best way. Let me try.”
Chigo nodded and Tonan walked towards the beggar. The monk had just placed the bowl in his hands when Tonan kicked it to the ground.
Pop!
The monk was stunned and looked at Chigo standing not far away. Seeing Chigo’s signal, he put his hands together and left quietly. Tonan stood in front of the beggar and indifferently said, “Do you have a dream?”
The beggar sneered, as if he heard a big joke, and leaned on the steps. “Dream… what’s the point of it? Does a spring dream count…”
Tonan pointed to a discarded bell at a corner, “Right now, you are like that bell, broken. Every day, you can only do one thing, which is nothing. Is this how your life should be? I think your life is meaningless.”
Tonan’s tone was filled with contempt. He looked at the beggar condescendingly, as if he was looking at the lowest kind of existence. The beggar, however just rubbed his stomach with disapproval. He looked up at the sky, and his eyes blurred, “I used to get up every day to go to the fields. There was energy in my heart. In those days, I looked forward to when to begin every day. But now the energy in my heart is drained. Every day, I think about when to end.”
Tonan sneered with disdain, “You said you thought about when to begin but did you ever? No, right? You make excuses and push things to someday in the future. What if that day truly comes? You’ll give yourself more time and won’t want to work hard. You just want a shortcut. Even if the consequences of failure can make you die horribly. People like you are not suitable to exist in this world.”
The beggar smiled indifferently. Perhaps, it was because he was too hungry. He turned over with difficulty, put his hands on the ground, and prepared to lick the porridge on the ground.
Bang!
Tonan stepped on the porridge and said viciously, “Every day, you come here to wag your tail, just to drink a mouthful of thin porridge. Even my dog doesn’t eat this stuff. Why don’t you bark? Then, I’ll ask the monk to bring you another bowl.”
Perhaps, Tonan’s words were too heavy and stimulated the beggar’s low self-esteem. The unkempt, hungry man stood up with anger on his face. Due to the height difference, he looked down at Tonan and yelled in a hoarse voice, “What do you know! I tried my best. But did anyone give me a chance?”
Tonan narrowed his eyes and grabbed the beggar’s collar, pulling him forward. The force made the beggar kneel on the ground, and he had to look up at Tonan again. Tonan then said slowly in a deep voice, “Do you have a chance if you stay here all day long? When you can’t find hope, you should learn to change yourself. The biggest liar in life is us. Because we always want to change other people but not ourselves.”
Tonan dragged the beggar to a wider path as if pulling a dead dog and pointed to a hall at the end of the path. He said, “Look inside, look at those people. What do they do when they encounter pain and difficulty? They pray to Buddha for help and use false beliefs to hypnotize themselves, allowing themselves to fall into a good dream. Do you know what’s the greatest pain in life?”
Tonan lowered his head and looked straight into the beggar’s eyes, “Waking up from a dream, and having nowhere to go.” He pushed the beggar to the ground. The man rolled a distance, his eyes full of hopelessness. “I’m already… hopeless…”
Tonan squatted down in front of him and grabbed his collar, “You are already like this now, can it get worse if you fight? What’s stopping you? Are you scared? Afraid of taking the first step towards everything you should’ve. Afraid of making the wrong choice from the start. Afraid of doing your best, but finding yourself worthless in the end. Right! You are scared! So, you should lie here every day, laughing at yourself in your heart. Where would you go? Your life… like this…”
