JEONGUKK’S POV Cont…..
Days passed and we were already inseparable. I met Jimin because of Taehyung and I was grateful for that. I also met Taehyung’s brother Namjoon, his boyfriend Jin hyung, Suga hyung and Hobi hyung. Taehyung was right when he said I will get 4 hyungs and 2 friends. We were already like family. I had my lunch and breakfast there. I even took my Mom there for lunch 2 times and she absolutely loved the food. Of course, Jin hyung is the best chef. My mom taught hyung a few dishes. Jin hyung requested my mom to join him and they both cooked very delicious dishes.
As days passed, I realised one thing. I was falling for Taehyung. His every little thing surprised me. I was amazed at every little thing. But I was hurting inside. I didn’t know for how long I would be able to be with him. Why?? Because I had already decided something.
FLASHBACK…. (One year ago)
My phone kept on ringing continuously. It was Jungkook, my twin. But why was he calling me at this time. I checked my watch it was past 2 AM midnight.
“Hello, are you alright?” Was the first thing I asked him.
“Hyung, I can’t live for long. I heard the doctors saying I can’t live for long. I don’t want to die hyung. I want to stay with you, Mom and Dad for long. I want to take you 3 with me on tours. I don’t want to die so soon, hyung. I am scared.” Jungkook cried over the call and my heart was broken in pieces.
Jungkook was my twin. Why he called me hyung? He was born a minute later than me. So I was 1 minute elder to me. I told him many times not to call me hyung. But then, he said he felt nice to call me hyung, so I allowed him. Also I loved him more than anyone. We were very close to each other even though we were miles apart. Dad took him to America for treatment when we were just 5. He had a weak heart since birth. He went under surgery for the same when we were 3. But it failed unfortunately and he had maximum of 10-12 years to live. Mom explained to me beforehand so that I could prepare myself for the time when he…..
But it was difficult for us to be apart as we were twins. Jungkook cried a lot for 2 months. But then I promised to call him everyday. I sacrificed my sleep and called him everyday and we spoke for hours till he was asleep. This somehow became a routine for us.
“Jungkook-ah, stop crying first. Tell me exactly what happened. Why are you saying like this? So far you are fine. You will be fine now too. Don’t cry, please.” I tried to comfort him.
“Hyung, I had very bad chest pain today. So Dad took me to hospital for check up. And after going there the doctor gave me medicine and my pain stopped. But the doctor said, I don’t have long. 2-3 years more maybe, but if I get a heart transplant, then I could go. So Dad asked the doctor to put me on the list. Whenever I get a matching donor I will have to undergo another surgery. But it might take years he said. I am scared hyung.” Jungkook was really scared, and it was evident from the way he spoke.
There were tears in my eyes. I quickly wiped them and took a deep breath. I was at loss for words. I forgot how to comfort him. Even though my Mom had already been telling me to prepare myself for this day ever since I was 5, I wasn’t still ready for it even after years.
“Listen to me very carefully. Lie on your bed and close your eyes.” I told him.
“I did, hyung.” Jungkook replied.
“Good. Now think what you wana do when we meet.. I will ask mom and we will go there to see you, alright?” I hate myself for lying to him.
“Really hyung? Okay, I will do.” He replied.
A while later, I could hear his breaths becoming slower and more stable. He was asleep. I sadly smiled. I do this every time he panics.
“Jungkook? Are you awake, baby?” I asked, even though I knew he was asleep.
There was no reply. But I didn’t hung up. I know he would freak out if he found out I had hung up. I stayed awake till he woke up after 8 hours. I skipped school again. This happened once every 6 months or once a year.
I wasn’t ready to let him go. I loved him. He was my own blood brother, my twin. Unlike me, he had his life planned, he had dreams, he wanted to be a very famous singer. He wanted to take us all on his concert tours. He knew I loved painting and so he wanted to be the only person getting all my private collection and his important dream was opening an art gallery for me.
Tell me, how can I let him go????
FLASHBACK ENDED…
So, I had decided to give him my heart when the time comes. Because this way I could still be alive in him. They say, the one who survives is the one who suffers a lot. So will you call me selfish because of this? Yes it is true, I didn’t want to suffer the loss of my beloved brother. But most importantly, I wanted him to live…
