Chapter 23: Live with guilt

“Your new look does really suit you, Loke, or should I keep calling you Mister Loke?” Faruq asked.

“Why would you ever want to call me Mister Loke? Loke is fine.”

We had long since gotten back to the left branch of the river, the one heading inside the forest, and after he had stopped asking me questions like: “Where’s your bow? How did you kill the slave traders on the Flow-cart? How do you feel? Did it take long to heal? What Skills did you unlock? Is the story about the Sunguard’s true? How did you manage to kill it? And those on the Flow-cart? But what about your bow? Did it break during the epic fight with the Sunguard? So, those on Flow-cart, how did you really kill them?”

He was now edging more toward personal questions. The man was a pain in the butt, but thanking the Sun, he was not interested in Nova, not in the slightest.

Although she was kind of half-pouting. She attempted to strike a conversation but was soon forgotten because of the barrage of questions he kept shooting at me.

However, taking Faruq in had soon revealed to be not only an optimum choice to the village’s growth but a good addition to our party, because right now, he was the most capable among us.

I had asked him to make a show of our abilities before we left the part of the river where crabs were most numerous, and he had obliged right away, being the first in showing us his abilities.

As I had guesses, his rare transformation ability was indeed monstrous.

He could take in the aspect of a Metal Flow glowing man. Metal Flow was just a way to define that his body would not become as hard as metal, but it would double Constitution, Strength, and weirdly Focus.

If that wasn’t enough, the Minor Perk would allow the user to be entirely free of Flow overuse drawbacks. So as long as one had Crystals, he could use Flow even at night or in Shade and just be a damn pain in the butt for every opponent.

When the fear of cancer because of Flow overuse or Plague because of Shade over exposition was not on the books, Skills gave one a whole other edge even during regular day to day life other than during hunting or combat.

Sadly Skills that gave those Perks were few, and even more so, they were rare.

I knew the details of Metal Flow body because it was one of the most sought out Skills for a Soldier and every kid that aspired to become one wanted it. Of course, nobody really got it in Murkstall. But there was bound to be someone who had it somewhere. Now that someone was Faruq.

The only drawback that the Skill had was that it did consume a fair amount of Stamina, so even if the Skill was complete, it could not be really abused even during the day.

The metal form was also not remotely as hard as Alistar’s granite form, but that was because of Alistar’s inherent Constitution. The Kobold was a damn slab of rock.

However, that transformation ability was not everything Faruq had in store.

In fact, stashing away and closing somewhere what remained of my shame, I asked him if he wanted to be Traced. Faruq obliged right away.

Nova pressed the Tracer she had brought on his forehead, and the results were printed a few silent seconds later.

Faruq Jameel

Class

Soldier Lv. 25

Con + 2, Str + 1

Sub-Class

Runner Lv. 29

Agi + 1, Con + 1, Foc + 1

Attributes

Stats

Natural

Augments

Agility

15 + 1

Boots (+3)

Constitution

15 + 5

Armor (+ 5)

Strength

18 + 1

Saber (+ 10 x 2)

Focus

17 + 5

Perception

10

Willpower

10

Fortune

☆ ☆ + ☆

Soldier Skills

Name

Major

Minor

Passive

Metal Flow Body – Constitution

(Eligible for Promotion)

☆ Double your Constitution, Strength, and Focus for a short amount of time

Flow absorption doesn’t have drawbacks

Con + 2

Foc + 1

Slash – Strength

Double Strength while Slashing

Beautiful Star – Fortune

You are blessed with beauty

Fortune + ☆

Runner Skills

Name

Major

Minor

Passive

Dash – Agility

☆ Dash toward your Target

Dash Stamina consumption is a little lower

True Stamina – Constitution

☆ Your Stamina recovers faster in Flow

True Grit – Focus

(Eligible for Promotion)

☆ Enter the True Grit state

True Grit state also doubles Willpower

Focus + 3

True Grit State.

It was a focused state in which his basic Focus doubled. There was somebody else I had known with this ability. It was Gramps.

While working, he would become silent and damn focused. Nothing could shake him out of that form. However, it lasted only as many seconds as his full amount of Bonus Focus allowed him to. And he had to rest for as many minutes. But the Skill really shined once the Minor Perk was acquired.

It could make Faruq twice as Focused and Willful. Paired with his Metal Flow Body he could reach a state that doubled his combat power and mental faculties.

It was enough to unleash the Abyss on a battlefield. However, there was a lot of Stamina to spend as the payment. But he seemed to have that point covered too, given his Minor Perk in his True Stamina Skill, or at least he could speedily recover what he had consumed.

Dash was as well something that didn’t have to be underestimated, it was a basic movement Skill, although a strong one. It did what it said and did it efficiently.

With Dash, he could use a burst of speed. Although it was not stated, it usually increased speed by a factor determined by Agility and Strength and would consume Stamina on use; I guessed that it would consume around ten percent Stamina, but I had no idea of the cooldown.

All in all, the young man was really a promising ally.

He gave us a demonstration of his ability by dancing amid the powerless crabs and cleaving the creatures with his two sabers.

When finally, he had given it his all, there was a circle of death at his feet.

He had killed around twenty crabs, and although my own tracing said that he had still barely fifty percent of his Stamina, I could already see it climb by 1% after less than a minute had gone by.

In short, we had made a great deal to have him join, and his sincerely satisfied smile made mine and Alistar’s frowns turn upside up.

The damn perfect boy had a sincere smile on his face, and my Synesthesia even made me see the smell of his sweat like damn little Sunflowers sprouting from him.

He was going to steal the scene from me; I could feel it and maybe even my sister. However, as long as he managed to make her happy… one far away day, it was everything that counted.

Of course, if that was bound to happen, she would first need to reach at least sixteen, and thus be an adult, before I would allow her to have a boyfriend. Otherwise, Faruq or anybody else would have to walk over my cold and smelly corpse before they could take her away from me.

“Loke, why are you gritting your teeth?” Nova asked out of the blue.

“Wut? Oh, just spacing out.”

My new habit of spacing out would have to end. I had ended up stealing it from Harlow. She became the same when she worked on her blueprints or planned for something. And since I started studying under her, I had absorbed the same habitude.

“That was a wonderful exhibition, Faruq,” I said, “It’s clear that you know your deal and will make a fine addition to our party.”

“Thank you, captain. But now I think I’m prime to ask a question I should have asked sooner. May I?” he said, looking just a little bit confused.

Questions, questions, questions.. I thought, but I nodded.

“May I know where it is that we are actually going?”

Alistar spit from the laughter, “You didn’t know? I thought Nova had told you.”

“No, I didn’t,” she said, shaking her head. “Did you, Loke?”

“Nope, well, since you want to know… we are going to become Delvers. And to do that, we are going to need to learn the so-called Combat forms.”

“Oh, the Forms, sure. I know the Form of the Spiral, well known, is a big term, but my father had a Delver warrior teach us when we were little, my brothers and I trained in it ever since,” he answered.

“Oh,” I exclaimed, sharing a look with Alistar, “So you know one… well, we don’t know any. But we are going to meet a woman that can teach us.”

“Perfect!” He said, clapping, “And while you train, if you need help, I’m going to help you learn it!”

“Aaaalright. Let’s keep going then,” I said. A phrase to which he answered with: “Yes, captain!”

I pinched my nose again and thought, this is so going to come to bite me in the ass, is it?


It was twilight once we finally reached momma Jane’s treehouse.

I could already see a couple more Eagle-rocks flying around, a thing that made me think back to Ronda and the fact that I was growing used to not having a pet around, which was not good, not good at all.

I was a Tamer since almost before I was a Hunter. I needed a pet, and it was high time I got one.

But that could have to wait; right now, all I wanted to do was see how Roana was faring and give momma Jane a hug I wanted to give her since I woke up from the coma.

Momma Jane surely saw us through the Eagle-rock’s eyes because she was descending the treehouse with the speed and agility of a monkey as soon as we neared their territory.

She came at us with a sped-up pace, and the fire that I knew she had in her veins, reflected in her eyes full of energy.

She was back to top conditions. And it was all thanks to Roana’s return.

When she reached us, she got Nova and me into a crushing hug, then grabbed Alistar by his shirt and pulled him in, “You are not escaping this,” she said, amused.

Although most of my vision was blocked by M.J.’s neck, I could see Roana get down from the treehouse.

She moved soberly, and although her eyes were haggard, she was at least not catatonic as I had seen her when we rescued her.

I had to restrain myself from Tracing her; it was surely the most insensible thing to do without asking her first.

When she joined us, and Jane had released us from her embrace, Roana said, “Loke, did you grow taller?”

“So, I didn’t imagine that,” added Faruq, “Congratulations, captain.”

If there was mockery in his tone, it didn’t show. Mister perfection was entirely speaking with his heart.

“Nice look you’re going for, but that eye seems a little bit disconcerting. Are you looking for my weak points?” Roana asked me, hopefully, jokingly.

“Ro… it’s so good to see you,” I said, smiling sincerely with my whole face.

I did not know if I could simply go there and hug her, not after what she went through, but Nova didn’t care; she launched herself at Roana, and smiling from her heart, Roana pulled my sister up, and they whirled around a bit before Ro hugged her like she had learned to do from her foster mother. At least her embrace would not be as crushing.

If Nova had the chance to, I knew she would have come on her own already, but she wasn’t stupid enough to get all the way here by herself.

If she saw my face and noticed my troubled expression, she didn’t show, nor did she give any sign of wanting to be hugged by me, though.

“Hello, Roana,” said Alistar, “I find you well.”

Although Alistar already knew both of Jane’s adoptive daughters, they were both young when they first met, and it had been six years or even more before they last talked to each other, meaning they were practically strangers.

She nodded, “I think I should thank you guys, I… have no idea what my life would have turned into if it wasn’t for you and Mom.” She bowed, “Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

“You don’t need to-” I was about to say, but Alistar elbowed me into silence, “Let her express herself,” he said.

When she rose up again, her eyes were red and shiny.

“So,” said momma Jane, who seemed to be forcing herself not to cry, “is he the slave we freed? The handsome one?”

“Yes,” Faruq answered, “Let me present myself. I’m Faruq Jameel, Veinforge mayor’s son, youngest of three, and Metal Flow soldier.”

Momma Jane whistled, “You’ve got yourself a powerful ally, guys. But are you ready to learn a Delver’s fighting style from someone who has actually delved?”

We were all surprised after we heard that. I was expecting anything, but not that momma Jane had been a Delver.

“Is that for real? You’re not pulling my leg?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“You’ll see tomorrow if I’m serious or not. Now let’s prepare; we’ve been waiting for you to cook dinner.”


The evening was full of surprises.

As it seemed, Roana had already started receiving combat Forms lessons, and as we cooked with momma Jane, she preferred to train by herself at the edges of momma Jane’s territory, protected by the light of the fire and the watchful eyes of the Eagle-rocks.

I was trying not to burn the fish wrapped in leaves too much when without thinking, I couldn’t help but Track and Trace Roana, making her jerk away from the unknown motions she was performing.

Roana Dowson, Medium Level 24 (11587/24000), Soothsayer Level 22 (14520/22000)

Health: 100%

Stamina: 99%

Strengths: Perception, Willpower

Weaknesses: Anger, poor defensive abilities

Class Skills: Trance (Focus), Divulge (Perception), Command (Willpower)

Sub-Class Skills: True Sight (Perception), Relentless (Willpower), Dowsing (Fortune)

Race: Human

Sex: Female

Height: 168 cm

Weight: 54 kg

Age: 19

Origins: Unknown

Family: Jane Varriel, Leafy Tirrell

She turned toward me, the very next moment. What her eyes said was clear, and what I had just done was really the most stupid thing I could have done today.

I left my wrapped fish to Nova by my side, amiably speaking with Faruq, and headed to Roana. She had dropped her staff and had started getting into the thick of the forest.

If the whispers were right, she was likely furious right now.

When I caught up to her, the only thing I could say was, “I’m sorry!”

She stopped, turning toward me; she was angry.

“I’m really sorry, it’s my Skill, sometimes I get so caught up in it that I can barely control myself. I didn’t mean to spy on you or make you feel… bad. Really.”

Roana sighed an angry sigh. Then she said a phrase that I had been afraid of hearing ever since momma Jane told me that there still was salvation for her if I helped.

“Why didn’t you come sooner?”

I closed my eyes shut, feeling the full brunt of that question, knowing I could not answer it.

What could I have said?

That she had been kidnapped at a bad time? That my priorities were others? Like making sure I properly trained my sister? Whatever I might have said spelled only one concept: I had chosen to strengthen my sister and abandon her to a disgusting fate the very moment I knew they had taken her.

I did not go look for her.

I just left momma Jane to her devices and retired with Nova for a month to train her, and just because Roana’s kidnapping had happened roughly at the same time in which Nova had almost died at the horns of a Horned-barker.

Momma Jane, Leafy, but especially Roana that was closer to my age at the time had been really close to me when after I lost my arm, I was taken here by my master to learn my Sub-Class.

She had supported me, cared for me, taught me how to accept momma Jane’s harsh training and enclose my rage, for the fact that my parents had left us, for having been left with a young sister that stole all Gramps attention from me, and the fact that I had just lost an arm, under a bastion of sheer will.

And how had I repaid her? By accepting that she was gone and not looking for her right away?

I would have to learn to live with the-

“You can’t accuse him of that,” said momma Jane from behind me. “It’s not right, and you know it.”

I turned to look at her, surprised.

Roana shed silent tears of rage and went back on top of the treehouse. We did not see her at dinner that evening.

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