Chapter 1: A Depressing Chapter About a Heroically Depressing Death

I’m Mo Ke a 35 year old otaku. I have no close friends, and after graduating from high school, I didn’t pursue a higher education.

My parents died early, but fortunately for me, they left me a significant endowment and I was able to live my life peacefully. They had used their savings to purchase a 5 storey building near the street entrance.

Each floor had an area of 90 square meters, enough for an apartment with a few bedrooms in it. Furthermore, this building was located next to the downtown area so it was a decent rental business.

With the income from being the landlord, I led a decadent life consisting of video games and movies. As for girlfriends…there’s lefty and righty. Plus, my computer had gone through a thorough inspection; it’s definitely a girl.

It’s been a long time since I’ve watched a romance anime from the island country…should I give it a shot again? Meh…I’ll just read a manga instead. Just gotta find that loli manga…

Perhaps it’s because of my older age, but my body seems to be experiencing a second growth spurt. I’ve grown fat recently; but really only a little. This is definitely not just me saying so. I’m not morbidly obese. I’m 165 cm tall and my weight is not even 140 kg. I’m not THAT fat.

As a multi-class Wizard/Sage, I’m not at all conceited about it, despite my obvious qualifications. I just don’t understand how a qualified person such as me, who not only possesses a house but even a computer too, could still be single.

This isn’t just me bragging, but my video gaming skills are top notch. Whether it’s LOL or Monster Huntsman, my dextrous hands are top notch. Are those rich/handsome men even as remotely impressive as me? Of course not! I have an ELO rating of Diamond in LOL. All those damned girls just don’t get my charms.

I’m not sure when it started…but I’ve become a good for nothing, manga-reading, video game-playing, otaku. This was probably due to my comfy lifestyle. The rent from this building allowed me to live a life where I did not have to work at all. It wasn’t a wealthy lifestyle, but it wasn’t poor either.

Honestly, I wasn’t so decadent before. I used to have dreams….grand dreams. I wanted to become a pro LOL gamer, lead my team out of Asia and conquer the world! However, as I aged my reaction speed slowed, and now Diamond is my limit. I had no choice but to give up on my dream.

Without any relatives or offline friends, my life could only be described as a disaster. This doesn’t mean that I wished to change it; I’ve had enough of society. Right after I graduated from high school, I went job hunting. However, those jobs just didn’t suit me.

In the real world, if your colleagues didn’t like you or if you threatened their interests, they would go to any lengths to slander you in front of the boss. Take for example the very first job I took. It was a privately owned photography studio. My colleague was the branch manager of that studio.

Branch manager might sound impressive, but she was a worker and manager at the same time. This was because she was the only one working in that branch until I started working there. I was assigned there to learn on the job for a week.

Once, I caught her stealing from the cash register. However, a week later I was fired from my job. The reason? The boss heard a report that said I bragged about opening my own photography studio in a year…

No matter how stupid I was, there was no way I would be so open about such a thing. This wasn’t a thing you could randomly talk about. Besides, I didn’t even plan on opening a photography studio!

After getting fired by that studio, I entered a small advertising firm. My first job assigned to me was to move floorboards. Don’t ask me why an advertising firm had to help their clients carry the floorboards or perform renovations! It just happened. My boss had me move these boards for hours. Within a span of three to four hours, I had climbed this 10 storey building a total of 10 times.

After all that renovation work, I wasn’t given anything. Not even a cent and not even an explanation.

My next job was at a newly opened cement factory. It was originally a quality assurance position, but because a relative of the boss didn’t want to be in charge of the warehouse, I was thrown there. What’s worse was that they waited for me to clean up that abandoned office before furiously snatching the keys away from me as if I had done something wrong.

It was at that moment that I found out I had been thrown to the warehouse.

The story doesn’t end there either. At my new post, all the unwanted jobs were dumped on me. No matter whether it was procuring supplies at dawn or taking charge of the delivery men, it was all done by me. These were supposed to be done by another person, but it had all been dumped onto me. I just don’t understand why I am such a weakling. A submissive weakling that gets bullied at every turn.

There was a time when I had seriously considered killing that man, but the penalty for doing so was the firing squad. I still had a lot of games to play, manga to read, and anime to watch. Being dead would definitely be a hindrance.

To me, society is like the plague, something to be avoided at all costs. Since I still had a means of living, I chose to run away and ended up becoming a shut in.

At one point, I could’ve gotten married. About 10 years ago, I had a girlfriend. One that really liked me. We met in the first year of middle school. She was the one courting me, but I fancied someone else at that time.

At the age of 25, I felt that I should consider getting a girlfriend and get married, so I decided to propose to her. She was truly shocked as knelt down and proposed. As I grabbed one hand, her free arm reflexively shot up to cover her mouth as if she had just heard a miraculous piece of news.

Actually, I’m only a little dense; I know that she still loved me. After all these years, despite our lack of contact, she must’ve still loved me. Otherwise why would she steal my first kiss when I was 24…

However, this romance did not end well. After a few days, I suspected that she was two-timing me.

How should I say this? If your girlfriend was out till 11 in the night, would you send her home? Normally you would, wouldn’t you? But she wouldn’t allow me to. I didn’t even know where she stayed. Whenever we went on a date, she would introduce me as her brother to her friends. There were even times when I called her apartment, and a man’s voice came from the other end of the receiver…

It felt like I didn’t know her at all. She kept all her thoughts to herself as I continued brooding upon this. Soon I stopped looking for her. Given time, she noticed this as well.

Our ending was a long awaited breakup. Yet, the moment when she broke up with me, I had a feeling that she was serious about me.

However, it was too late and things had went past the point of no return.

A short while after our breakup, I learned that she had gone to a different city. Judging by her Weixin friend’s group, she seemed to be leading a happy life. [1]

It was both comforting and sad at the same time. I’m such a fool…

No one needs me. Outside of videogames, I no longer have a reason to live. However, today is Valentine’s day. It is another Valentine’s day without a valentine but I’ve had enough! No games today, I’m going out.

With my mind set, I threw on a coat and walked down the stairs. As I left, I said hi to the aunt who rented the first floor from me for her convenience store. Under her disdainful gaze, I left my home with my head lowered. Even after walking for 100 meters, her gaze still burned on my back like a branding iron.

Why is everyone looking at me with such strange eyes? I made sure to shower before I left. My clothes are fresh, my teeth are brushed. Even if my shoes weren’t clean, no one should be able to see it in the darkness of night.

As I continued the adventure outside of my room, a seemingly endless stream of lovebirds walked past me. Argh! How vexing! I’m painfully aware that I’m single so you don’t have to rub it in my face!

Only allowed on

F*ck! I almost tripped on something. As I turned my head back, I saw the culprit; a brick. Damnit…even you’re bullying me. Why am I so unlucky…It’s fine even if I’m the only one left in my household. It’s fine even if I’m not needed. Even not having a girlfriend is fine. But even a brick is bullying me!? I just wanted to take a walk outside. What have I done wrong?

Just as I was about to take revenge on this dastardly brick, I was interrupted by a couple of kids fighting. It was a boy and girl chasing each other. From the looks of it, both of them were 10 years old. The boy was chasing the girl, their feet unknowingly carrying them towards the center of the road.

This was a remote area and didn’t often see traffic. A little fight was usually not a big deal but today was an exception. Just in front was a truck careening towards them, its headlights illuminating the road ahead like a pair of luminescent pillars heralding the impending tragedy.

The two kids were scared stiff by the truck’s sudden appearance and stared dumbly at it; their feet glued to the ground. Due to my nearsightedness and the darkness, I couldn’t see if the truck driver was aware of the two kids. However, it was safe to assume he wasn’t as the truck had no sign of slowing down or braking.

The onlookers merely screamed in horror but no one stepped out to save them. They couldn’t do so either. They were simply too far to reach them. The only one close enough was me. What should I do? Save them, of course!

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I dashed out and flung the loli to safety. Now there’s only that pretty boy. Well… as long as the loli is safe, that pretty boy can go kill himself for all I care…Then should I leave him to die? No…if I had planned to do so, I wouldn’t have flung the loli away.

The truck was approaching ever closer by the second, its monstrous pressure weighed heavily on me, causing my chest to tighten. It was too late to run away so I gathered every ounce of strength I had and kicked that boy to safety.

After that, I took flight…

As for the rest of the story, I couldn’t remember anything.

Actually, my brain had already started hallucinating. I imagined that I had woken up once more in the hospital’s emergency room. The doctor said there was no hope but I suddenly latched onto his coat like a person who had faked his death and pleaded with him. [I feel that I can still be saved].

Truth be told, perhaps this was for the best. I was the only one left in my house, I had no reason to live and no one needed me. Dying was perhaps a blessing. No one would bully me…no one would stare at me with those eyes…I would no longer have to face this complicated human society…

Plus, I’m just a 35 year old worthless otaku. Using my life to save a couple of 10 year old kids was a truly worthwhile trade. My life was pretty much set and I couldn’t do any good for society by living. But those two brats were different, they still had future. I only hope that they learnt their lesson and never messed around near the road again. It isn’t everyday that an idiot will run out to save you.

As I thought about their bright futures as scientists, doctors, policemen…the kind of people who could contribute to society. I finally felt at ease. That’s right. I’m just a self-indulgent fool. A fool that just wanted to be needed by someone. Even if it cost me my life, it was worth it.

This way, I could scream to the heavens that: I’m not a burden!

Dying in order to save someone else, felt…real good…

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