4th September, XXXX
I went back to my room after the reveal yesterday. I did not talk to Sebastian. Out of the corner of my eyes, I knew he wished to talk to me. But I did not even give him a chance.
I knew he had a lot of things to handle. Aren’t I a good and considerate fiancee?
He was setting his trap, but he did not even tell me. He has never trusted me one bit.
Isn’t relationship about communication and trust? We fail in that criteria over and over again.
Communication between us is basically non-existent. Now that I think of it the faults go both ways. He does not talk and just assumes I understand him. I get discouraged by the silence and hide in my own shell.
If only either of us has reached out at that time. But there are no ifs. Life goes on. Things that are missed are missed.
—————–
“Your family was not killed. They are still alive,” Sebastian explained in his usual emotionless face.
“I know.” I buried myself deeper into the armchair I was sitting and looked out of the drapes free window.
If the things that happened yesterday were all a trap, that means Sebastian has planned that from the start. From the time he said it’s hunting season. I really doubted he would sacrifice his father. He might seem heartless, he did love his father. The king and the late queen may be the only 2 people he cares for in the world. He was extremely upset during the king’s memorial service in my previous life.
I was just plain stupid for not noticing that everything was a trap.
“Your family and my father is currently living in one of my long forgotten family estates in the country. They’ll be back in a few days.”
“I see. Thank you for the information.”
“Is there still something wrong with the seashell charm?”
I was still not looking at him, fixing my gaze at the window and the scenery behind it. I was familiar with it. The mountains far away, the forest, to the fountain in the garden. I spent hours in my previous life stuck in this room, gazing out of the window.
“No, it’s as good as new.”
“Then…” And a wave of dizziness hits me. “I have ordered Cook to make the dishes you like.”
Why the sudden dizziness? Then it hit me.
“Are you reversing time just now?”
I finally turned my head away from the window and looked at Sebastian. For the first time in my two lives, I saw an embarrassed Sebastian (or as embarrassed an emotionless ice prince can get).
There are a few times I felt dizzy when I was around him. Why does he need to reverse time when he is around me?
I would not be able to know what happened during that erased time. An uncomfortable feeling settled in my heart.
Another wave of dizziness hit me.
“Again?” I asked in an annoyed voice. I am sure no one likes to be moved around like a puppet. It felt like your own time is not under your own control. Who knows how many times I have undergone this same situation? Will I be leaded on unconsciously by Sebastian?
I did not understand what took over me. Maybe it’s because of the fact that I realized Sebastian never trusted me or the fact that I noticed how little I knew Sebastian, my two year husband. I was just really angry and… sad. Sad about my pathetic life. Annoyed and angry with myself because I know there is still a part of me that likes him.
I am tired.
“I am not feeling very well. Maybe I’ll take my dinner in my room, your majesty.”
I did not feel normal, my feelings were in a turmoil. I need some time away from Sebastian to sort everything out. I need to sort out all my conflicting feelings. My feelings for him.
“Is it the repercussion from yesterday? Do you need a healer?”
He sounded worried.
Stop fantasizing, Liana.
“No. The potion helps soothe the repercussion. I am just shocked and tired from all the reveal, your majesty.”
Sebastian looked at me like he does not trust me one bit. Finally he said, “Please take some rest. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
No you won’t.
