Chapter 75: A report of fraud~!


It only took a few lines from Alexis before all the goblins ran off towards the {Moolesh Mountain Range} though they seemed rather drained of energy.

Thinking that Eel Jr. couldn’t help but look towards the gobo-bunny-duo who were now squeaky clean on the outside at least. In truth she could hardly be surprised that the duo managed to outlast an entire tribe at this point with the goblin girl looking very satisfied with a big grin. Even if both her stance and the bunny lazily sprawled on her back was clearly a bit awkward due to their recent activities.

Alexis meanwhile had her tails bouncing back as she had her hands resting around the little dragoness giving her a boobhat. The girl in question has her right hand resting in Emily’s while using her rediscovered bone spear as a walking stick with her left. Though her nose did cutely twitch as her strong sense of smell could clearly tell a rather strong helping of ‘Lyada’ had been disposed in her ancestors mouth.

“Well then~ those silly green fellows will be heading towards the base of the mountain range to wait for us to arrive after dealing with this trouble. Are you planning to head straight towards the nearest guild or pass through the villages again. You are the leader little cub so it’s up to you to make this decision as a leader~?” <Alexis>

Her voice was gentle while placing the weight of the choice on the girls shoulders (not just the weight of her boobs) yet it was clear what the purpose was. The foxy woman was clearly using this as another teaching opportunity for the younger one. Gloved hands slowly stroked through the purple locks – her hand actually moving to the right side of her hair to pull it behind her ear.

“Hm~ have you thought of shaving this side off while curling the other half up? It would really suit you with your preferred style of ‘adventurer princess’ compared to just having it go all over the place like it currently is. Isn’t that right Emily~?” <Alexis>

“Mhm but Beth looks good in everything to me…” <Emily>

Of course, Alexis instantly got distracted from her own question to instead braid the right side of her hair with a smile on her face. As for Eel she actually couldn’t help but tilt her head in a curious manner. It’s not that she particularly liked her current ‘all out’ style but rather it was Ali who liked her hair like this. She did like the idea Alexis was suggesting as it could look pretty cool…

“*Cough* Maybe ya should answer the first question?” <Fuka>

“I think it’s a waste of time doing this at all; if thou continue to get distracted it’ll take ages before thou to reach {Moonlesh Mountain  Town} let alone {Gobberz Kingdom}!” <Promicarus>

<She seems a bit better than she was last night at least? N-not that I care or anything!>

Seemingly after making sure their traveling companions didn’t smell like semen the grumpy girl walked up. She still wasn’t as confrontational as originally was but at least she was still disagreeing with them. Still that didn’t mean Eel Jr. would let the girls foolish comments off without rebuttal!

“Fufufu~ for someone with an obsession for fake products it’s strange you have no interest in real fame or fortune. Maybe you’re only interested if it’ll give you a new toy~?” <Eel>

“Maybe it’ll be thine greed which gets thou an early grave tumour chest!” <Promicarus>

“Either way we need to inform the guild but since you suggested a route so generously we’ll head through the village just in front of us before heading to the village where we left Tom. If you want to head to the mountain town by yourself you are more than free to. I’m sure you could make it with all the dolls you no doubt have fufufu~!” <Eel>

“I just give credence to the fact it would be far more methodical to hand in the mission at the town like what we originally concurred!” <Promicarus>

“Ah~ but if the fool was going to run anywhere upon realising we were going for him it would be back towards {Shanta City} not the mountain town. I want to see if I can hunt him down before we arrive at the village so I can get the glory for beating that fakey faking faker~!” <Eel>

With that Promicarus puffed up her cheeks while frowning; honestly she understood that as she too wanted to just kill the useless man. Still this was a point she couldn’t concede on a whim however she knew she couldn’t convince the dragon once she set her mind on something. If she knew one thing over their short time butting heads it was the dragon has a thick skull!

“*Tsk* Fine however let’s not waste time…” <Promicarus>

“Heh~ when do I ever waste anything, everybody eyes up we’re heading there at double time with Fuka on point fufufu~!” <Eel>

That in mind the group stopped playing around as Fuka nodded while taking point as she ran at a steady pace with Lyada following beside her; Alexis let go of Eel while she fell on one knee to let the cowgirl hug her back. As soon as she felt Emily in position the dragoness shot off to follow forth.

Seeing the obviously decently oiled team Promicarus just let out a sigh before swiping the air with her left hand to create a rift out of which a [Nightmare] – a demonic horse with strong metal/illusionary abilities – strolled out which she quickly mounted. Alexis on the other hand had no preparations needed so just followed along peacefully with the same smile on her face as she watched Eel Jr..

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It took even less time for them to arrive in the village upon which they immediately headed towards the village chiefs house.

Funnily enough it didn’t even take Elizabeth’s supreme tracking skills to catch the fake hero at this point since even Fuka who’s skill set obviously wasn’t close to Eel’s could tell. Afterall it was hard to imagine anyone else wailing and crying like a bitch about needing to be listened to. With the man seemingly not even trying to run the group couldn’t help but look among themselves while the self-assessed Demon Lord just haughty sat upon her demon horse.

They almost seemed to be having a silent conversations with nods, shakes and blinks along the line of.

‘Is this really the guy?’ <Fuka>

‘Sucked my dick so I should know’ <Lyada>

‘A lot of people suck you dick though’ <Emily>

‘He was a sloppy sucker though’ <Lyada>

‘He definitely smells manly though in the same way Fuka does not like Photon’ <Eel>

‘Did we not learn he also swung that way?’ <Fuka>

‘Eh~ true but Photon wouldn’t be screaming like that’ <Eel>

‘We need to head in anyway to report the status of the job completion – if it is the fake hero we’ll just capture him to hand in’ <Emily>

‘Should let Alexis beat him for a bit then hand him over to your new mom Emily!’ <Eel>

‘Rather vengeful for a hero’ <Fuka>

‘F****** sue me; oh wait you can’t since I’m a dragon not a human!’ <Eel>

Ending their silent conversation with Eel sticking her tongue out towards the fully armoured Fuka who just responded with a shrug of the shoulders while pulling her helm down. Her lover on the other hand looked towards the elders house while licking her lips. Alexis couldn’t help but wonder at what point did bunny’s suddenly become predators as neither she nor Promicarus had the level of history to understand them in the same manner.

Obviously Promicarus also just didn’t care to know since she was above such bonds like ‘friendship’.

“My beautiful Mil~ you may as well buff me, Promicarus  and Fuka up while we head in. The rest of you spread out around possible entrance points using mo- Alexis’ ability to track. I don’t want any way for those rats to get out this trap fufufu~!” <Eel>

Emily lifted her eyes brow but she just smiled while lifting her hands up while magical arrays formed midair out of mana as well as some of her own energy. She did it so casually one would think she were using a fireball as she flicked the magic silently towards the three yet she wasn’t doing anything as simple as that. In fact she actually just layed a defence, speed & strength buff together then applied it. Certainly not everything just anyone could do.

After receiving the buff Eel just leaned forward to rest her lips on Emily’s forehead with a little *chu* before lifting her spear to casually rest on her left shoulder.

In typical Eel fashion her foot came up to boot the door nearly off its hinges as she walked towards the yelling. Upon entering she saw a blonde man with amber eyes aggressively leaning across the table with crazy eyes towards the old village chief who was the only one sitting down at the moment. Resting against the wall behind the crazy man was a big muscular guy as well as a girly boy who kept a stern face despite the muscular brute’s hand grabbing his butt.

This did make Eel tilt her head since the shitty religion really disliked the whole ‘man loving man or girl loving girl’ thing. Yet it wasn’t as strange as if they were both girls since that was heavily frowned upon compared to the former; nobles often had those relationships. Why’d the dragon know that?

Well when you live in a brothel for a good portion of your life you pick up information especially from fed up house wives being wrecked by Big Lyd’s or Leaf.

<I wonder how Leaf is doing… I wish she could join us since she’d likely love Goberz from what I’ve heard about it from Fuka. Sadly she apparently has to stay with that giant tree…>

Shaking her head she paid attention to the blonde man again.

“You don’t understand; there is a literal demon lord who just killed several members of the church just outside your village!” <Hiro>

“I-I’m afraid your story makes little sense since an adventurer party just headed out towards the church yet don’t seem to have run into issues yet…”  <Village Chief>

“That all girl party? Obviously those dumb bitches died before they could turn tail and run if not even the church members could escape! If you don’t quickly contact Shanta this village will be nothing but a pit – that thing was a f****** monster…” <Hiro>

Remembering the horrifying sight which was that armoured monster resulted in his legs giving out as he fell back into his seat. Head tilting backwards as he gazed off at the ceiling while biting his lip. Although he was shivering there was some people in the room who weren’t exactly as accommodating to his mental health.

“Fufufu~ to think you really think we’d be dead just because he can’t handle some random goblins! Is this really the idiot who stole my title~?” <Eel>

“Kekeke apparently thy believes all dumb yet cannot even unsure the foundation for thy plan is set before taking action.” <Promicarus>

“Ya somehow look like more of a bitch than when ya we’re being spitroasted by Leaf ‘n’ Lyds fat lady cocks hahaha.” <Fuka>

“Just because he likes men doesn’t mean he’s a bitch… Though perhaps since even courtesans are apparently stronger than you, you should take their place. Certainly aren’t doing a good job as a fake hero fufufu~!” <Eel>

Hearing the mocking voices Hiro quickly swung his head to look at the trio of girls – two shorties who he didn’t know and one he felt was familiar. Still he frowned as the veins upon his head began to pop. Not even hesitating he moved his right hand down to draw the Mithril sword at his waist to point towards the taller girl.

“I don’t know who you lot are but you should learn to hold your tongue in the future. If you don’t want to get hurt I’ll accept your surrender and let you redeem yourself as nu-” <Hiro>

Suddenly his instinct built up through years of combat yelled to him causing him to lift his left shielded arm to guard his chest only for him to feel something collide with it. Looking he caught the sight of the purple haired girl with a regal smile on her face as she thrust forward casually after appearing in front of him. The heavy hit caused him to actually step back a few steps which in turn made him frown.

“I’m Elizabeth Jr. Bloodleaf, descendent of the legendary beings and known as the {Adventurer Prince} due to my slightly rare job. You should have heard all about it since you like prancing around pretending you have the real thing; {Hero}. Me and my party have come to arrest you to hand you over to the guild so surrender if you don’t want to get hurt fufufu~.” <Eel>

That made the man frown since he knew the girl in front of him wasn’t as weak as he had first assumed so provoking her was a terrible idea.

“I did hear a girl trying to play pretend at being a hero in {Shanta City} yet this isn’t the time for games since a demon-” <Hiro>

“You mean the Apprentice High-Priestess you tried to get assassinated to free a [Void Beast] with the help of your shitty church? Yea, no, we’re not as dumb as you think especially since I happen to be related to that particular fox somehow! What you did in releasing one of them is apparently a big ol’ crime according to the guild so we’ll need you~!” <Eel>

<Although his stats are certainly impressive for a mere human… I have the buffs of Emily so I won’t even need to activate my own blood magic buff. Also will be best if I save my [Momentum Manipulation] since it’s honestly likely he’ll be able to escape even if we capture his party through some teleportation item. Then again…>

“ I want to fight so I won’t actually let you at least surrender, I need to at least put some of the anger Mil’s adoptive mother feels on your scrawny ass!” <Eel>

After Eel calmly stated she would commit a war crime the knight frowned in response to her words while the old village chief scrambled out the room. Glancing to see if he could get any help from his allies he found them looking towards the female party’s tank as well as what was probably a magician. The knightess had her hand on her sword in a warning manner while the magician… Walked towards the table and began making herself a cup of tea.

Some people were just built differently.

With the girl’s spear pressed against his shield he tucked the shield against his waist while stepping to his right in an attempt to catch the girl of balance; following through with the sword aiming right at the girl’s chest. This would work of course if the person in question was putting their weight behind the spear yet the little dragon wasn’t doing that meaning all he did was leave himself right open. A grin formed on Eel’s face as she reached out while letting the sword puncture through her hand only to grab his hand after her palm met the hilt pulling him towards herself.

Finding the situation to be against his expectations completely, he wasn’t prepared for the moment when the little girl slammed her own forehead into his face. Eel let his hand go causing the fake hero to fall onto his butt with a bloody nose. Lifting the metal sword that pierced her to her nose to sniff it as if she didn’t even feel it.

“Eh~ this has some traces of a decent sword I guess…” <Eel>

After saying that she moved her palm around upon which she bit into the grip before yanking it out from her hand.

- my thoughts:
Heyo~ Last poll we learned a valuable lesson… Right nut is superior to left nut. Also this chapter is a meeting that has been waiting to happen for a very long time~! Please support my patreon (https://www.patreon.com/BasicallyGod) where you can get a novel's pre-released chapters for only £2.50 where all three novels are 20+ chapters ahead - your support is needed! Anyways, enjoy~♥
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