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Although I no longer sat in Fan Li’s tea shop, I could still watch the world through Rhea’s technique. At the moment, it was an immersive experience. Whenever I directed my attention away from it, I would find myself lying face-up on a generic lawn of freshly-mown grass under a perfect summer blue sky. I’m not sure when the transition from tea shop to lawn took place, and I’m not sure what sort of ‘location’ the others saw themselves as being in, but for the most part, I didn’t pay attention to where I was, at all.
After all, this ‘I’ was not anywhere real, anyhow. As a bundle of thoughts with the personality of Tiana-not-minus-her-memories, the real me floated somewhere in the Spirit Realm, hosted in Fan Li’s spirit core, a place where the very concept of ‘somewhere’ had a tenuous definition, at best.
Rhea didn’t seem to be present, but her technique still focused on our [Blood Effigy]. I had the sense that if we needed to switch to Tiana in the Castle, Fan Li could arrange it, but for the moment, we were observing Lhan watching the grief-stricken Shindzha through the prison bars.
I suppose it was the gentle Lhan’s nature to want to comfort the woman, but the moment her hand lifted to reach out to her, I panicked and somehow stopped her arm from moving any further. Frankly, I wasn’t sure how I had done it, and I was just as shocked as Lhan was. A moment later, Falerè caught her by the upper arm and the issue became moot.
We simultaneously spoke to her, Falerè with her voice and myself in her head.
“It’s dangerous. Stop.” Falerè warned.
[Don’t put any part of your body into the anti-magic field,] I advised. [I don’t know what might happen to the effigy.]
She was still shaken by the fact that I had been able to stop her arm from moving, but she nodded. Fortunately, I no longer had any control over it when Falerè released it and she was able to lower it.
Fan Li added, [The effigy would probably survive, but the anti-magic field would have reacted in a quite visible and dramatic fashion. It’s best to avoid doing that to Falerè.]
The sobbing hellspawn still troubled the girl. I could feel her aching to comfort her. She asked, “Can the field be turned off so we can enter?”
“I object strongly to this idea,” Falerè declared with a dark tone.
I used spiritual voice again, to answer her.
[If possible, I would like for her to do so, Captain.]
The fairy warrior frowned. She continued speaking to Lhan, but her words were directed at me. “Look, I don’t even know who I’m addressing. You sound like Her Highness in the Castle, but I’m certain Her Highness is still there, while your hidden voice technique is clearly coming from this girl in front of me.”
A little frustrated, I muttered, [You can tell that, can you?]
“You’ll have to explain it to her, Ma’am,” Lhan said, looking up so Falerè would know she wasn’t addressing her.
[Exactly what am I going to say?] I shot back, not broadcasting to Shindzha and Falerè this time. [It would be better to not pretend I’m the one in the castle. That lie would come out eventually, when Falerè meets her.]
[You aren’t exactly the Tiana of Huade, Your Highness,] Fan Li counseled. [It would be more truthful to describe yourself accurately.]
I understood her meaning as soon as she said it, but I didn’t like it.
[If you’re going to say that, then knock it off with the ‘Your Highness”,] I grumbled.
[Then this one would have to address you as ‘Senior’,] Fan Li replied with a wry smile I could hear. [Which is your preference?]
She had said that in all seriousness, too.
For all the deceased incarnations, like Fan Li, Sirth, Lhan or the rest, their personalities were the crystallization of their time in the Mortal Realm. Just like me, they could read the memories of the others, and sometimes even use their skills, but they were distinctly them.
At this point, if I were to resurrect the Robert Stewart personality, I could only do so through the same means, and he would be another distinct crystallization. Another member of the group called them.
Fan Li meant that it was time for me to accept, I was different. I wasn’t a member of that group.
The me on Huade was something like that, being a copy of the original Tiana, with the influence of my soul and the few experiences she’d had since awakening layered on. Like the others, she was a simulation of a dead incarnation, even though that incarnation wasn’t part of my lifetimes. But this me, currently hosted in Fan Li’s spirit core in the Spiritual Realm, was…
[You want me to call myself Senhion,] I replied bluntly, stating the conclusion Fan Li’s thoughts had pointed me toward.
Fan Li gave a mental nod, [In your current form, powered by my core, you are as close to the Senhion of the Elder Age as you have ever been. I built my spirit core in the hopes that it would replace the human Golden Core that I needed in order to forge a spirit seed and become a Nascent Soul. I built and built, far beyond the size I needed in order to host my entire personality, and the remainder that I do not use is larger than your entire spirit vessel on Huade. What you can be, using that remainder, is certainly far more Senhion than Tiana. Or at the very least, you, here in my spirit core, are no more Tiana than you are Robert right now.]
Why did I hate hearing that? I knew what she meant. The me right now, as constituted here in this surreal place, had bits of everyone mixed into me. I had even absorbed Lydia’s life into my thoughts, and I was able to recall much longer sequences of Senhion’s life now. This stint in the Spirit Core, which had lasted far longer for us than the few days it had been for Tiana on Huade, had advanced me far along the way to becoming the whole me that was the sum of all my lifetimes.
Senhion was the original name of that sum, the name of my first lifetime, at least from around one thousand years old, when I first acquired a Mortal Realm name. Theoretically, with all the subsequent lifetimes strung together, Senhion could still be considered my name. Or at the very least, the first and foremost of my names.
I was clinging a little too hard to the most recent of those names, wasn’t I? Even though that name never belonged to me in the first place.
I took my attention off the view of Lhan on Huade, directed my eyes upward at the flawless blue sky, blew air through puffed cheeks and closed lips, and gave up. It was time to accept it.
Directing my spiritual voice through the [Blood Effigy] once again, I replied to Falerè, [Very well, Captain. I shall introduce myself to you. I had hoped not to trouble you with this.]
To Lhan, I gently added, [Don’t be startled, child. I’ll be taking over now.]
Fan Li saw my intention and warned, [Please make it quick, Senior. You will be as heavy a burden upon Her Highness as this scholar. Return control to Lhan as soon as you can.]
I sent her a mental non-verbal confirmation, then stepped into the [Blood Effigy].
What Falerè saw was the image of the young alien girl blur and grow several inches in stature (I am hardly tall, but Lhan is tiny) and appear to her complete with wings, wearing my image from ten thousand years ago. In other words, I became an Elder who looked very similar to, but not precisely the same as, Tiana Pendor. My raiment shimmered like water but had the texture of a cloth that seemed somehow both like gauze and like silk. It was certainly no cloth that could be manufactured on Huade, nor any raiment that a fairy Tiana’s age could create.
But I had the same black eyes, hair and wings as my great-granddaughter, and a very similar face. The family resemblance should be unmistakable.
The bow of the Elder race was nothing like that of Doria, nor was it that of Orestania. It would be very familiar on Earth, though. I held my hands together and lowered my head to Falarè, in exactly the manner one would see in India, or perhaps from a yoga instructor.
“I greet you, Descendant of the X’ne,” I told her. “I am Senhion. I was Commander of the Third Legion of Stewards of the Tutelary Council of Huade, many long years in the past. I lived in an era before the time you call the Ancient Fairy age. I am the one who spoke through Lhan to you.”
“Mistress?” Shindzha asked in a timid voice.
I glanced her way and smiled. “Your mistress is my great-granddaughter, child. She bears a strong resemblance to me.”
It wasn’t a lie, after all. Her bond was with the physical being Tiana, the woman bereft of her memories currently in Narses Castle. Although, it seemed that Shindzha’s mystic sight insisted that we were the same person. I couldn’t leave matters there.
“I am an illusory construct present in this place through my connection to her, Child. That is why your demon eyes are telling you I am her. Please do not be misled.”
I turned back to Falerè, whose brows were bunched up as she stared at me.
“You have the same problem,” I stated, and her frown deepened.
“Even more so, since you look just like her.”
“Not if you look closely enough,” I smirked, touching my bosom briefly as I added, “She’s a bit heavier here, for example. A gift from my granddaughter Deharè.”
Falerè snorted, then grew troubled. “When you call her your granddaughter…”
I nodded, with another bow in Elder fashion. “Indeed. Through my son, Oberon. The one you call the Fairy King. Feel free to ask him about me, Captain. Now, I must hurry, as maintaining my form here is very hard on Her Highness. I wish to examine the prisoner up close, and I hope to settle her mind.”
Seeing Falerè’s reluctance, I sighed and turned my senses to the magical devices forming the anti-magic field.
As I did so, I mused to my audience, [Troubling, to know the spells I might have used at this moment. In the past, I could have cast a [Restrain System] spell of the Light element to temporarily repress the field, and an [Unlock] spell of the Darkness element to open the cell door. Pity none of Tiana’s Servants know those spells.]
Fan Li wondered, [Are you even restricted to knowledge from your Servants in this form? You just noted you are not a physical being like Tiana.]
It was information she should already know, but I stated it anyway. [The minds of magic-using creatures on Huade possess a region for retaining the necessary arcane patterns that act as the circuitry for spells. The need for this circuitry and these patterns is what differentiates spells from skills. Elders lack that region completely, so we can use skills on our own, but we need the assistance of Servants for spells. In my case, I can probably borrow Tiana’s Servants, but I remain subject to the restriction. I am reluctant to try to distort my form to overcome that, as I am not sure what the consequences of going against Heaven’s design for the Elder race would be.]
A new voice entered the conversation. [I understand the required programs to be [Restrain System] and [Unlock]. Fan Li has deduced the algorithms involved and I should be able to access the host devices. Requesting access authorization.]
I blinked in surprise as I realized Daq R’mion had been borrowing my senses to analyze the magic devices in the room, even as I explored them.
[Can you really do it?] I wondered.
[I cannot hack in from here,] he admitted. [I must get closer.]
My jaw dropped as I realized his intentions. Then I accepted it and turned control over to him.
