Heavens! I used to think Feng Zhao Wen was my direct superior.
Making tea, pouring water and massaging superior’s back were things that subordinates normally did, right?
Sleeping on the same bed though, was really inappropriate no matter how you think about it.
That night when I first woke up, he spent the night on his table, reading war reports. I was on the bed with a fuzzy head; I dreamed of something desolate, my head hurting greatly. The pain was unbearable. I screamed in my dream, it felt as though there was nowhere I could run to. As I wander around in my dream, someone woke me up. “An Yi….. An Yi….. Wake up. Your head is hurting again?”
I blinked. My body felt so sluggish, soaked as though I had been swimming in water. Feng Zhao Wen’s strained and red phoenix eyes were right in front of me as he patted my back gently with his large palm. My chaotic heart quickly calmed down.
En, this boss was really competent. Not only did he care about his helper’s meals and clothes, he also cared about their emotional health.
I tried to rack my brain, failing to remember the fragmented dream. Just, the feeling of pain was deeply ingrained in my brain. I touched my head, feeling a burst of dizziness before closing my eyes while wiping the sweats that was formed on my forehead. “I had a bad headache in my dream….. Really really bad.”
He lied next to me on the bed, embracing me with his long arms. He used his hand to pat my head. I thought our position was strange yet comfortable at the same time. He was very warm, making one reluctant to part from him. I leaned onto him, mumbling, “No wonder everyone have such high regards towards Your Highness. When we are sick, we can actually share a bed with you and chat.”
His voice contained faint traces of smile, “An Xiao Lang, is sharing a bed with this prince an honor to you?”
“If An Yi isn’t afraid of ruining Your Highness’ romance prospect, An Yi can only wish to be sick all the time so I can share the bed with you all night.” Oh heavens, by then I had truly gotten used to being a man.
Feng Zhao Wen dragged his tone next to my ears, “An Xiao Lang, you have to remember what you said.”
———— Two days later, I regretted it to death.
He was battling the Great Chen and successfully conquered Sui City. I heard, the soldiers of the Great Chen turned into idiots under his hand. Perhaps their commander-in-chief was old and unprincipled, he actually got cold feet. That commander Yan actually brought his son with him to meet Feng Zhao Wen, General Wu Ke and the rest.
Tian Bing Qing pointed at the Yan father and son, “The Great Chen didn’t seem to have that many loyal ministers.”
I stared at the young man next to the old commander-in-chief, he looked so familiar to the eyes. I pondered for a long time yet I couldn’t bring myself to remember who he was. I couldn’t stop myself from appreciating the view, “That young man is so handsome!”
Tian Bing Qing stared at me as though he had just received great surprise, “You remember everything?”
I stared back at him unperturbed, “Remember what? Don’t tell me he is an enemy who killed my father?”
Tian Bing Qing: “……………”
He looked tongue-tied, don’t tell me I accidentally guessed right.
When Feng Zhao Wen returned to the camp, he reported everything to him.
Feng Zhao Wen called a bunch of physicians to examine me. They looked at me with difficult expressions, “There is a blood clot on General An’s head. The clot needs to be cleared first to regain General’s memories.”
After everyone went out, I excitedly pulled at Feng Zhao Wen, “Your Highness, does this means I am a General? I wonder what merits I had contributed to?” Why else would a prince cared for me that much?
Back then, I failed to remember that other than hardworking ministers, the only other people receiving such a care was high-ranked prisoner of war.
Feng Zhao Wen seemed dumbfounded. He eyed me from head to toe, “How can an idiot like you have meritous contribution?”
I glared at him hard. He touched my face with his hand before laughing wickedly, “You want to know your identity?”
I nodded and persistently stared at him.
He looked a little awkward when he spoke, as though he was too embarrassed to even speak, “Actually, you are the daughter of a sixth-ranked official from the Great Qi. You went crazy after falling in love with me and vowed to help me in the battlefield…. I could feel your infatuation. Even though I thought you were kind of stupid, I reluctantly accepted you anyway.”
A shocked expression panned out on my face before I retreated with large steps. I noticed Tian Bing Qing’s body shaking like leaves that had been rattled by wind. It was weird and pitiful at the same time, perhaps I did something that scarred him for life back then.
I thought, that sixth-ranked father of mine and the mother that I had never seen was truly unreliable….. How could they give birth to such a weird daughter like me?
The stupid things I did were truly shocking. Things like going crazy for a man should have been done quietly ma! Getting on a platform and announcing it to the world like that was really embarrassing!
I was deeply ashamed by the title ‘General An’.
Feng Zhao Wen silently watched me. His phoenix eyes were full of affection, as though he was touched by my deep love. He stepped forward and buried me in his arms. I found it hard to believe I could move this hard-hearted person. I tilted my head and rack my brain for a while before coming out with ways to excuse myself, “Actually, you cannot blame me for this! Your Highness is so goodlooking. As long as you didn’t speak or bully people, it is easy to draw in maidens to fall for you. Falling in love is easy, but staying together is not. After living with Your Highness for a couple of days, I think it is better for me to move out and find another place to sleep.”
Secretly loving someone made you prone to disillusionment.
I was standing on top of whatever remained after a secret love was extinguished. Wandering here and there aimlessly. I decided that stopping the secret love would be better.
He looked at me in displeasure, as though he wanted to retract my official position. I shrunk my neck; though I wasn’t happy with how I got that position, I didn’t think I could part with the salary. Knowing that I still had to depend on his glory in the future, offending one’s superior would make it difficult for one’s head and purse. In order to protect the head and the purse, I could only smile at his direction.
“I was just afraid I will disturb Your Highness’ rest and ends up affecting your judgment in war.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, “You think you are beautiful enough to disturb this prince’s rest and affect this prince’s judgment?”
I touched my own face, completely not confident in my appearance. I thought too highly of myself; I lowered my head in shame.
Feng Zhao Wen patted my head like he would pat the mane of his war horse, “This prince remembered what An Xiao Lang said two days ago, about willing to spend every night on the same bed as this prince. Why did you change your mind after only two days?”
………. Having a superior with good memory wasn’t a good thing.
Ever since I stayed in Feng Zhao Wen’s tent, I had been the victim to a lot of eyes.
Especially General Wu Ke’s.
Every time he looked at me, he looked like he wanted to batter me with a hammer. I heard he made a hexagonal golden hammer, it was liked by the Crown Prince.
Actually, I understood the reason behind his behavior.
A faction formed by only image and a faction formed by actual strength were bound to clash. He hated the fact that I used my face, my figure and my adoring eyes to move the Crown Prince’s heart. I even lived in the Crown Prince’s tent. He had much more contribution than me, yet he had to live in a smaller tent. No wonder his eyes were always twitching everytime he looked at me.
That was what I thought, back then.
Now that I think back to it, I suddenly pitied General Wu Ke. He must have truly wanted to hammer me to death. I turned an ambushed fire attack into a war between the valleys. The Great Qi must have had casualties too back then. His hatred towards me was only natural.
Feng Zhao Wen never gave him a chance to act against me. I too, guard against him well. I maintained high level of vigilance under the sharp eyes of the enemy. I almost became Feng Zhao Wen’s tail, following him everywhere.
Feng Zhao Wen was obviously satisfied by my actions. He would pat my head in front of General Wu Ke everytime they discussed something.
General Wu Ke’s expression would be full of grief, as though I just stole his husband.
I quite like that look on his face….. it was distorted to the point of being funny.
At times, when they were harmoniously discussing about political matters, I would deliberately head to the frontal part of the tent with a tray of tea. I would attentively serve it to Feng Zhao Wen, “Your Highness, this tea contained date honey. Your throat must be dry from talking, why don’t you drink this to soothe your throat?”
General Wu Ke begrudgingly stared at Feng Zhao Wen who was drinking the tea. Then, he would direct his fierce eyes to me.
Since that accusing eyes could not snap my veins or break my bones, I just ignored it. I went to the back to scoop cold water as General Wu Ke continued glaring at me.
To put it simple: You could fawn over your superiors. Fawn over them whenever you could. Under circumstances in which you could not flatter them, flatter them anyway. As for colleagues, it would be good if we were good but it wouldn’t hurt me if our relationship weren’t good either. Bullying them if the opportunity arose would be fun as well. After all, Wu Ke had no say in the thickness of my purse.
I was particularly comfortable during my stay in the camp, that fall. Tian Bing Qing was understanding and tactful, my food and clothes were all taken care of. As for the Crown Prince, as long as you were respectful and sincere, he wasn’t hard to get along with. There was also General Wu Ke to add to my entertainment. My nights would be plagued with nightmares, but Feng Zhao Wen would always woke me up. Other than the nightmare, my days were pretty easy.
When Feng Zhao Wen conquered the Great Chen’s 5 states and 30 counties, winter had arrived. I patted my cheeks that had somehow grown more flesh, excitedly waiting for Feng Zhao Wen to bring me back to the capital for New Year.
I heard the New Year in the Great Qi were lively. My memory was blank; this year could be considered my first New Year. My anticipation was high.