Chapter 44 – Never Marry A Man With Two Tintins

Note: Everything above this is an announcement by Creative Novels. It’s not written by me (Reika). So if you read something like “I’ve been sick” that isn’t me. That’s the owner of Creative Novels.

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Chapter 44 – Never Marry A Man With Two Tintins

Burning with shame and indignation, Cheng Nuo was forced to put on the gorgeous female clothing. He couldn’t tie the belt properly but the doll helped him tie it to his waist in the shape of a bow.

While he was getting dressed, Li Yue had gone out of the room. The corners of Cheng Nuo’s mouth twitched when he saw his new look in a bronze mirror. The collar was too big for him which meant that whenever he moved, his shoulders and collarbone would be revealed. In addition, his long, blonde hair was too long and would occasionally slide down to cover half his face. He really looked like a transvestite!

Li Yue nodded his head to express his satisfaction when he saw Cheng Nuo. He gave also Cheng Nuo a white fur cape and jade pendant to wear. A carriage was waiting for them outside.

Cheng Nuo sullenly followed Li Yue inside. The stoutly-built Doll Number 5 drove the carriage away. The interior of the carriage was very spacious and comfortable. There was a soft couch and a small table with a few dishes of delicate snacks and a pot of scented tea on it. Li Yue lazily lay down on the couch using Cheng Nuo’s lap as a pillow. Cheng Nuo fed him some pastries.

Cheng Nuo put a chestnut cake in his mouth and said, “Master, who are we going to see?”

Li Yue opened his mouth to eat. He narrowed his eyes and said, “You’ll know when we get there.”

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Cheng Nuo hadn’t eaten for a long time. Even though he didn’t like pastries, his empty stomach couldn’t help but make gurgling sounds. Li Yue opened his eyes and thought out loud, “Dolls don’t need to eat. Sure enough, it’s more troublesome.”

Cheng Nuo’s heart skipped a beat. He quickly forced out a chuckle, saying. “But the dolls have no temperature and they can’t converse with you or smile.”

Li Yue’s eyes curved up. “It’s all the same. Feed me the sweet-scented osmanthus cake.”

Cheng Nuo thought to himself that he should just think of this as feeding a chicken or fish. Stuffing Li Yue’s mouth until he was full, Cheng Nuo thought that these overly sweet and cloying pastries were the type that only girls like to eat. Men wouldn’t eat this!

Li Yue’s appetite was small so he was soon quite full and he made Cheng Nuo wipe his mouth with an embroidered handkerchief. Cheng Nuo forced himself to be careful and not use too much strength. This person was just a big baby… it wasn’t worth it to anger him.

“Eat everything on the table.” Li Yue closed his eyes. “If I ever hear your stomach making that unpleasant sound again, I’ll pull your intestines out and tie them in a knot.”

Those words made Cheng Nuo feel nauseous. He said, “I don’t like these. Can I get off and buy some steamed buns? I’ll come back soon…”

Li Yue opened his eyes. The cold expression in his eyes stunned Cheng Nuo who quickly laughed and said, “Is that alright, master?”

“You should only say, ‘Thank you for the reward, master.’ Eat everything up. If there’s anything left on the table, I’ll cut your fingers off,” said Li Yue, who was still lying down.

Cheng Nuo silently ate the pastries quickly. They were too cloyingly sweet for him. After eating two pieces, he took a sip of tea before eating again. Fortunately, there were many types of pastries and each there were only two or three pieces of each kind. He fought down his nausea but his face was blue and white by the time he finished eating.

Li Yue looked at his slightly painful expression and said, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“…” Cheng Nuo blushed and said, “I just don’t like sweet food!”

“Oh.” Li Yue closed his eyes. “If you’re pregnant, I’ll dig out your fetus to make a doll. I’m sure the noble females would like that.”

Cheng Nuo’s guts churned and his hair stood on end. He should remember not to be soft-hearted when dealing with this Li Yue who was a complete psycho. This degree of perversion was simply inhuman!

The carriage finally stopped. Li Yue, wearing a silver-and-white cloak with a hood, looked very beautiful. With some difficulty, Cheng Nuo got to his feet and walked behind Li Yue. Doll Number 5 also followed.

Cheng Nuo had never been here before. He looked around carefully. The front door was very elegant and there were two magical beasts in front of it. The wall was so high that he couldn’t see the top of it. This place didn’t look like the headquarters of a faction but more like a high-class private residence.

A man dressed as a middle-aged housekeeper approached. Li Yue greeted him politely and Cheng Nuo was able to gather a bit of information. It turned out that today was the birthday of the younger master of the house. The young man saw and liked Li Yue’s street puppet show a lot so he hired Li Yue to come and perform for him.

Soon three plush sedan chairs arrived for Li Yue, Cheng Nuo, and Dolls Number Five and Two. The chests containing the puppets also went with them. The sedan chairs moved quite fast. Obviously, the people carrying them were martial artists. He didn’t know why Li Yue had come to this place. Who would believe that Li Yue made an honest living using his artistic skills?!

After around half an hour, the sedan chairs stopped. Cheng Nuo lifted the curtain and went out, shocked by the extravagantly luxurious buildings in front of him. The architecture here was somewhere between Chinese and Western styles. The floor was covered with precious and expensive energy stones. The gardens were filled with precious plants as well as cute and lovely animals. Nobles lived such decadent lifestyles!

A female who looked like a servant came over and said: “Please follow me.” He was well-dressed and had obviously been trained in polite speech and manners.

After a long walk, they entered a courtyard and Cheng Nuo was shocked by what he saw there. ****! This was the first time he had seen so many flamboyantly dressed females gathered together! These females were wearing a lot of tinkling ornaments on top of their heads. Some of these “flowers” were quite elegant and graceful. All of the females gathered at the tables eating light refreshments, chatting and giggling, were all good-looking. However, when Cheng Nuo saw this scene his scalp went numb. These were all men…

A figure wearing clothes with a Chinese larch design burst into the scene, exclaiming furious, “My father hasn’t returned yet? Hmph! He doesn’t care at all about my fourteenth birthday!”

Cheng Nuo thought that his voice was familiar. Looking at the teenager who was holding a whip, with his nose in the air and looking very headstrong arrogant, Cheng Nuo was puzzled. Suddenly, he remembered where he had seen this person before. Wasn’t this the boy who had been chasing Bai Ruim, wanting to buy all of his items? His name was Li Yin…

When Li Yin entered the courtyard, the chattering females there lowered their voices to a whisper. They were clearly afraid of him.

Li Yue seemed pleased when he saw Li Yue and the others. Waving his whip at Li Yue he said, “Put the best play on first. I’ll reward a good performance.”

Li Yue bowed slightly to him then took Cheng Nuo and Number Five to the back of the stage to arrange them. Several realistic puppets soon started performing on the stage. The play was very old-fashioned. It told the story of a cultivator who followed the True Path but was separated from his lover. After many twists and turns in the plot, they get back together in the end. Li Yue manipulated the two puppets who banged on the drums and gongs. Cheng Nuo, who was watching the performance through a gap in the curtains, saw that several adult men in the audience were wiping away their tears with their handkerchiefs. Cheng Nuo’s eyes started twitching.

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Li Yin’s eyes were also red. He had looked for the “Cheng Yi” he had seen that day but he never found him despite searching for many days. He waved his hand and a young man quickly dropped a bag of coins on the stage. Li Yue smiled contemptuously. The dolls on the stage all bowed together and said, “Thank you very much for the reward, young master!”

A handsome man in his thirties walked in with two people just as a scene of the play had ended. It was Li Yin’s father, Li Shaoming. He smiled and walked to Li Yin. “Yin-er, are you still angry with Daddy? Just now, I was so busy that I couldn’t get away.” He was a lustful man who had countless females in his harem but he only had one favorite child, the apple of his eye who he always spoiled.

Li Yin was still watching the play on the stage and just made a “hmmm” sound. He didn’t even glance at his father. A servant rushed over to place a chair and Li Shaoming sat down beside Li Yin.

The protagonist puppet cut his way through all the thorns blocking his path, overcoming all obstacles by cutting the heads off a row of puppets. Finally, he got together with his beloved. Cheng Nuo’s mouth twitched when he saw people in the audience crying. Why the **** are they crying?! Can’t you see the heads rolling on the ground? This isn’t a romance story, it’s clearly something from a horror movie!

Cheng Nuo looked carefully at Li Shaoming. All the high-level people he met were from Qinghua Sect, not to mention that he had only seen a few of them. Naturally, he didn’t know this person but when Li Yue saw him appear, his purple eyes lit up.

Li Shaoming frowned: “What kind of play is this for Yin-er’s birthday? It’s too unlucky!”

Li Yin glared at him: “This is what I like! I haven’t heard any news about the person I like for such a long time. Father, your subordinates are really incompetent! He’s so good-looking and a master refiner. There can’t be many people like that In the whole Liao Ji City!”

Li Shaoming smiled but didn’t answer. A person’s name can be fake and his appearance disguised. That was why they couldn’t find him. Smiling, he said, “I can’t find but it’s better to wait until Yin-er is fifteen. I’ll personally pick a few handsome youths to serve you, okay?”

Li Yin blushed and said angrily, “I don’t want just anybody. I want him!”

The puppets slowly retreated. Li Yue picked up the bag of coins and whispered, “Thank you for the reward, young master.”

When Li Yue stood up, his hood slowly slipped down, revealing his dark, thick and wavy hair. Although he was very young, his face was elegant and refined.

Cheng Nuo’s body was controlled and went out to the stage to make his bow to the audience. He was confused. What does Li Yue really want to do?

Li Shaoming’s eyes narrowed. The two females in front of him have contrasting appearances. Although the blonde had darker skin, his facial features made him look gentle and warm. His smile was heartwarming. The younger one’s looks were even rarer. Although he was a little bit too young, Li Shaoming liked him!

Li Yin waved his hand and one of the servants said, “Let’s have another beautiful performance!”

Li Yue smiled and made Cheng Nuo walk off the stage. The puppets soon came on stage again to the sound of gongs and drums. Li Yue performed all afternoon. During this time, Li Yue was impatient and ordered Cheng Nuo to stand behind him so that he could lean on Cheng Nuo. IN short, Cheng Nuo waited on him and obeyed his commands, which Li Yue really seemed to enjoy

After their performances, Li Yin and the other females rewarded them with a lot of coins. Three sedan chairs came for them. However, after they had entered the sedan chairs, Cheng Nuo realized that something was wrong with the path they were taking this time. Why were their sedan chairs taking a lot of twists and turns along the way? Was it to confuse them?

Li Yue sneered. He had made inquiries and knew about Li Shaoming’s temperament.

The sedan chairs stopped in a courtyard. A young man greeted them and said with a smile, “Please come with me. Today’s performance was very good. My Lord would like to invite you to perform for him in private. Of course, the reward won’t be small.” Doll Number Five was left outside the courtyard.

Cheng Nuo was slow to realize that something wasn’t right. Huh, it couldn’t be the work of some pervert, right? His voice was now being controlled by Li Yue

Li Yue glanced at Cheng Nuo and walked inside, smiling. The courtyard was quite quiet and the servant took the two of them into a room then left, closing the door behind him. Cheng Nuo nervously looked around at the room’s luxurious and intricately designed furnishings. His hair was already standing up.

A tall figure quickly appeared behind a screen. Li Yue asked in an innocent-sounding voice, “Master, are we going to perform here?”

Li Shaoming slowly walked out from behind the screen and said with a smile, “Yes, but I have the script that I’ll teach you to perform, dear boy.”

Cheng Nuo’s scalp went numb and he felt so nauseous that he almost vomited. **** your “dear boy!”

Li Yue was clearly more psychologically hardy compared to Cheng Nuo. He tilted his head and asked curiously. “What’s the script?”

Li Shaoming’s interest was piqued. He decided to play with this little one first. He pulled the screen up then immediately unrolled a long painting down from the ceiling. He smiled and said, “Just do what you see here, dear boy.”

This was a world where martial arts reigned supreme, not the visual arts. Therefore, the lines of the painting were quite simple but it was clearly an erotic painting! The male male pairs in the painting were in various standing or lying down positions, engaged in many carnal activities. The blood rushed to Cheng Nuo’s face. **** it, he hadn’t even watched Sola Aoi’s legendary adult videos but now he had to look at some gay erotica featuring two tintins! Nooooo!

Li Yue’s face was red but Cheng Nuo didn’t know if he was really embarrassed or just acting. He hung his head and said, “Master, what do you mean?”

Li Shaoming said with a laugh, “I like you two kids very much. Be obedient and I will make sure you live a comfortable life.”

At that, Li Yue’s head hung even lower and his right foot rubbed a few times on the ground. He was silent for a long time then said in a voice so low that it could barely be heard: “Master, you… you’re bullying me.” There was no fear in that coquettish voice.

When Li Shaoming heard Li Yue’s reply, all his morals flew out the window.

Cheng Nuo was breathing very fast and feared he wouldn’t be able to bear it anymore. ****! An old pervert met a young pervert. What kind of perversion would he be forced to watch?! He really admired Li Yue to the extreme. The little devil’s acting skills were quite excellent!

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Reika’s Notes:

  • “Cheng Nuo blushed” – I omitted a phrase here 险些没喷他一脸 which is something like “almost didn’t spray his face” since I’m not sure what he was supposed to spray. I thought it was something like “nearly coughed up blood” but couldn’t decide what it was.
  • “Nobles lived such decadent lifestyles!” – Non-literally translated 万恶的贵族 meaning “wicked/evil aristocracy!”
  • “…clothes with a Chinese larch design…” – 红杉 A tree, scientific name Larix potaninii Batalin but also called Chinese larch
  • “the True Path” – 大道 (dà dào) This is a Buddhist philosophical concept meaning the “ultimate truth.”
  • “Pervert” – 色狼 sè láng Literally a “wolf” but here it clearly means a pervert or lecher.
  • “Noooo!” – This was actually 让不让人活 which is something like “let no one live” but I think it’s really just meant to be an exclamation of disgust.
  • “You’re bullying me.” 你欺负人 More like “you bully people” but I think third person speech is hard to pull off.
  • “… his morals flew out the window.” – 骨头都酥了 Literally “his bone (backbone, moral integrity) went limp.”
  • Please let me know if there are any errors. Thanks for reading!
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