Chapter 158: Prisoner Of One’s Own Fears

Alexander then lightly fondled her breasts as he continued to kiss her nape, making Elsey’s body more sluggish and weak.

“W-wait! I said I’m already 37! Are you fine with that!? And a man besides everything else-“ → Elsey

“Wrong.” → Alexander

Alexander placed his finger over her cherry lips and slowly caressed them as he looked sharply in her eyes, making her feel fear and excitement at the same time.

“Maybe you were a man before. But you are no longer one. Right now you are a young beauty of, let’s say, 25 years old of the race Dragoon with a striking body and cute face.” → Alexander
“C-cute…?” → Elsey
“What. Are you embarrassed after being called cute? That’s not that manly, is it?” → Alexander
“S-shut up!” → Elsey

Alexander teased her some more and Amalia slowly forgot about her pride as a man from when she was still one, and slowly succumbed to the feminine instincts imposed by her body.

“Besides, 37? I’m 32 this year so, I find no problem with it. And if nobody is gonna take you for who you are, then I’ll gladly do it in their place. At this moment, I don’t feel like I’m embracing a man at all~.” → Alexander
“No! D-don’t even think…” → Elsey
“Calm down. Forget about your past self and embrace the present you. I’ll make you mine soon enough…” → Alexander

Helplessly and weakly struggling underneath him, Elsey showed less and less resistance as Alexander closed in, making her instinctively close her eyes, letting him lightly kiss her. Feeling no resistance, Alexander fell back for a moment and observed her inviting expression.

“… I see you didn’t resist as much.” → Alexander

Seeing how she actually pursed her lips forward, Alexander felt even more amused while Elsey only reddened. He then lowered his face towards hers once again and this time he kissed her more forcefully, at first only to test the waters, only to be surprised by strong responses coming from Elsey; at first timidly, then stronger and with more courage, twisting her tongue around his in a seductive and intoxicating manner. Alexander continued to use his hands as he fondled her breasts, at first gently, then more firmly, while the other one reached lower toward her buttocks.


Elsey’s moans resounded as she tried to grab Alexander’s hands away, only to actually move his hands to even more sensible spots, having her twitch and tremble from the excitement.

Poah~!…” → Elsey

He then stopped for a moment to catch his breath and observed her now breathing heavily, a deep shade of red covering her whole face together with her neck and ears, as her eyes shone with the fire of desire. 

“See? There’s no longer a man here, but the female adventurer, Elsey. Want to see a man? You have him in front of your face. Want to see a woman? I will make you aware of what a great woman you are.” → Alexander

He took off his shirt and Elsey was shocked to observe the ridiculous scars covering his body, some seemingly quite deadly, caused either by a sharp blade, a blunt object, or teeth and claws. Afterwards she observed how he wanted to strip from his pants as well and she hurriedly interjected, waving her hands disapprovingly.

W-wait! No! Who said we’ll go that far?! I disagree!” → Elsey
“Eh?” → Alexander

Alexander was momentarily dazed, then with quite the annoyed grin he got closer, caressing her cheek and started complaining quite revolted.

“What do you mean by that? If you truly were a man in your past life then you know just how hard is for us men to control ourselves after having such a beauty in bed. But seeing how you’re so against it then it means you haven’t been pleased enough? Let this big daddy here take the challenge and make you moan out in pleasure.” → Alexander

Just as he closed into her, she then grabbed his head and held it strongly toward her chest, his face completely buried in her plump breasts.

“Woah? Oy, what’s with-” → Alexander
“Y-you said that you’ll accept me for who I am! R-right? You won’t suddenly feel disgusted or something! Right?! I know just how most men are! After having a taste, they will simply leave everything behind in just one night! Especially you, as a bandit! I-I will kill you if you dare betray my trust!” → Elsey

At first surprised, Alexander then felt like laughing. He felt her trembling and knew that what she was truly afraid of was being left behind. He then gently released himself from the trembling embrace and closed onto her.

“As you already know, I’m the leader of a group of bandits. My father was a bandit while my mother was a prostitute. However, ever since I was first aware of myself I promised to never be like my father. A part of this promise was broken the moment I became a bandit. Even so, that was the only promise I broke in my life. Believe me, I’m 80% sure that was the last time I’ll ever break a promise while 100% sure the ones with you won’t be the second. Once I said you’ll be mine, then be sure to stay under my wing until the day I die. You shall be mine, no matter who or what you were in your past life.” → Alexander
“I will remember these words, don’t you dare forget them…” → Elsey
“I won’t…” → Alexander

While caressing her lightly, he closed in for another kiss, a kiss in which she was rather pushy than him.


“… Was it you who made Alexander rush inside my room like that?” → Shen
“Maybe? Why are you asking?” → Sylvia

Back inside the spacious room where William and his wife were still chatting together with Sylvia, I came inside after hearing moans from the room on the other side of the floor. Although I isolated it phonically with a barrier, all my sleep still flew away instantly.

Seeing Sylvia still awake, I asked her somewhat annoyed then she asked with a calm smile as she helped Amanta with knitting a scarf.  Her answer made me feel ridiculous and annoyed at the same time, then William interjected and asked with a wide smile on, happy that his debt for the queen was already up to be paid.

“Lord Shen, shall I prepare a cup of tea to help you with your sleep? It won’t take long as I already have the plants prepared.” → William
“…Yes, please. It would really help.” → Shen
“Immediately. Miss Sylvia?” → William
“Yes, I’d wish some as well.” → Sylvia
“Alright.” → William
“Dear, let me also bring some biscuits. It goes well with the tea in front of a warm fire.” → Amanta

Unable to understand how the conversation developed in such a way that Sylvia and I remained alone, I just sat down, trying not to think too deeply into anything for now. Then, her voice resounded once again.

“Do you wanted to continue back then?” → Sylvia
“…What?” → Shen

I looked up and saw a serious but calm smiling expression as she repeated herself.

“Was my assistance back then not needed? If so, then please tell me so next time I won’t do anything that might go in your way.” → Sylvia
“… Weren’t you my wife in the past? How could you just stay silent when another woman is hitting on your man?” → Shen
“I simply do not wish to make you hate me. Although I tried my best to assist you in your plans, I feel like this only made you distance yourself from me. Even if I’ll have to step on my own heart, I won’t try to go against your wish-“ → Sylvia
“Stop. God, at least get mad at me, would you?” → Shen

Hearing her sincere words while seeing her serious and calm expression, made me feel like the last man after asking such a question. I then sighed out and tried to calm down.

“That’s enough, you did nothing wrong. If not for Alexander’s intervention I might have eaten that Elsey whole.” → Shen

Sylvia giggled lightly then said while covering her mouth amused.

“Indeed. You have quite the appetite when hungry.” → Sylvia
“…You yourself aren’t such a good person either.” → Shen
“I admit that I have my moments~.” → Sylvia

After I remembered how she assaulted me back in the separate space after the Goddess left her, I became more and more aware that under that cute face of an angelic girl, there rests the instincts of a devilish woman who would eat you up in seconds.

Seeing how our conversation was going nowhere, I simply sighed then William with his wife came back with the tea. After drinking and chatting some more, we all returned to our rooms.

Back in the meditation, I was able to see more and more energy being emanated from a room on the other side of the floor, that being Elsey’s room where Alexander’s presence was also felt at the moment.

Those two are really going all out… → Shen

I then continued my meditation and for a few hours, I visualized the globs of energy enter inside my body, when I suddenly feel some kind of oscillations in the atmosphere.

What in the world…? → Shen

I opened my eyes and got up from the bed, staring outside the window and looked toward the forest beside the village. The crown of the small-to-medium forest was slowly dancing in the wind of the night as birds flew from a tree to another, while a calming rusting sound of rustling leaves and branches resounded everywhere around.

“Hm?” → Shen

However, just at that moment I suddenly felt how space itself bent for a short period of time then a seemingly unfelt but quite the visible shockwave redirected upwards attracted my attention from inside the forest.

There is something inside! → Shen

I felt my heart rushing for a moment as I hastily opened the window then took flight right toward the forest at full speed. I tried to feel around, to detect just from where did the dimensional disturbance appeared first, only to be greeted with nothing but a sleeping forest.

Only allowed on

“Where is it?!” → Shen

I landed in the closest place from where I thought the shockwave came from, but anything else than the normal sight of tall trees, dense bushes, and few animals that ran away the next moment, nothing abnormal attracted my attention-

“Wait…” → Shen

With the exception of a small string of energy… My sensibility of the energies was strong even since back on Earth. After arriving into this world and while continuously working with mana, my sensibility only raised.

As I felt the frail and seemingly inexistent string of familiar energy, I continued walking toward it, my eyes completely closed. I continued onwards through the bushes, following the energy trail while my mind remained in a state of trance as I tried not to lose the trail.

The energy is becoming stronger… I’m getting near the source! → Shen

I was extremely curious as for what just happened in these places to even make the time and space bend for a second then repair itself as if nothing even happened.

If I’m not wrong, then maybe a spatial fissure might have opened inside this forest. If it’s true, then with its help I might be able to get back into my own world! But for a fissure to actually open on its own just out of nowhere is a little bit… Maybe it was my imagination? Or it was something else entirely…? → Shen

I continued forward then a sudden squish feeling made me wake up from my trance-like state, feeling my foot stepping on something soft. I opened my eyes and looked downwards, only to see my foot stepping on soaked mud, as in front of me there was a clean and sparkling lake, while inside it the most beautiful woman I ever saw was now taking a bath. The moonrays reflected on the lake made me even more mesmerized as I stared dumbfounded at one godly silhouette which seemed to take her bath inside the lake, her body being only halfway in the water. Even though the energy was coming from her, I was too enchanted to even shift my gaze from her, let alone think about the weird energies.

Her beautiful white skin seemingly shone from the light emanated by the moon, while the lake itself seemed to spark but only because she was present there, while her long white hair beautifully fell over her shoulders, along her back, waving together with the water, floating atop of it like a bed of white petals.

Feeling my presence, the familiar beauty turned around, showing her perfectly round and pink breasts, together with the sculpted-like figure, making even the moon itself to pale at her beauty. I froze in place as her silvery eyes locked gazes with mine, being too enchanted by her beauty to even move. The next second a beautiful smile on her angelic face struck me as I tried to wake up from the daze and slowly turn around.

“I’m sorry for intruding. I will wait for you to finish bathing. Afterward, I have something to ask you.” → Shen

At my words, Sylvia’s smile vanished for a moment then was replaced by a seductive one. She reached out her hand and surprised me as I started levitating towards her above the water, using mental powers to make me levitate towards her. Feeling no malice, I simply asked as I was unable to understand her actions.

“What are you doing?” → Shen
“You saw me already. Why leave so soon?” → Sylvia
“… I just wanted to ask you something.” → Shen
“Yes~? Then what stops you?” → Sylvia

She then suddenly turned me around, making me able to see her alluring figure of a devilish angel, feeling like falling into sin if I looked for too long. I covered my eyes with one hand as I tried to get a hold of myself, not wanting to fall into her trap.

She’s hiding something… Sylvia… → Shen

“Just what are you hiding from me?” → Shen

I asked directly as I wanted to stare into her eyes and see what kind of expression she’ll make. However, to my complete shock, she also stepped on water, making me able to see everything in full.

Damn this woman! → Shen

I covered my eyes once again, untrusting myself with only looking at her eyes, then she answered in a calm manner.

“What I’m hiding? I’m sure I got nothing else on me that could hide something from you?” → Sylvia
“I mean why are you inside the forest…” → Shen
“But I’m just taking a midnight bath. Did you know? The rays of a full-moon atop the lake in the middle of the night will energize the waters, making it just perfect to rehydrate the skin. Don’t you wish to have a beautiful wife by your side?” → Sylvia
“You’re not my wife.” → Shen

At her teasing tone, my mouth escaped control as I blurted out once again. Sylvia laughed for a moment at my blunter then she closed in as she asked slowly, her melodic voice resounding closer and closer to me.

“It’s true that I’m not yet your wife. But I will be, right?” → Sylvia

This time I didn’t even have the strength to negate it. Although I couldn’t bring myself to have someone beside me forever, I was unable to simply push her away either. Or rather, I was unable to do so anymore.

“Why are you rejecting me like that, Shen? Or, Johan? Is it because my looks are not up to your tastes? Is it because my character is annoying? Or is there something that I’m not aware of yet?” → Sylvia

The more she continued, the more conflicted I felt.

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Do I hate her? I don’t feel that way… Then is she just another woman for me?…. That’s… not true either… Is she important to me? Maybe…? I don’t really know… Just what do I feel about her…? → Shen

As I continued to answer and ask questions on my own, Sylvia suddenly but gently grabs my hand away from my eyes, leaving my sight to drop on her and observe what many artists would call perfection. Confused by her actions once again I asked the same question:

“Just what are you thinking?” → Shen

However, with a calm and serene expression, Sylvia asked me with a beautiful smile on:

“Shen. I want you to stop thinking and do what your heart desires.” → Sylvia
“Wait, what?” → Shen

I asked surprised, and then I instinctively followed her words, trying to stop thinking for a moment and listen to my own feelings.

What I want to do, what I want to do… maybe… touch her…? → Shen

I reached out sheepishly, but rather than touch her more devilish parts, I went and caressed her cheeks slowly. She responded by closing her eyes while pushing her cheek on my hand, touching it with her own hand affectionately. All my nerves relaxed right there as I took another step towards her, sitting now right in front of her, my eyes slowly turned from brown to green. Without me knowing, the chains around my body started to move, at first slow, then faster as my heart relaxed for the first time since the moment I woke up with no memories.

I’m so close yet… I want to be closer… → Shen

Unaware of what was happening with me, I reached out with my hand towards her waist, as faltering as the first time, slowly holding her from around and gently pulling her closer, my heart beating wildly after feeling her wet yet warm skin. As a response, she closed her whole body on mine as she rested her head on my chest. The warmth made me relax even more, but the chains only swirled more violently under my clothes, still being unaware of them. While I felt her body on mine, I was able to feel my chest racing, a lively feeling enveloping me and making me feel alive, making me feel like actually enjoying life.

Closer… I want her closer…? → Shen

I then raised her chin and a short stab made my heart jump for a moment, but I ignored it the moment I made eye-contact with her enchanting and silvery eyes, feeling drunk while holding her in my arms, feeling her moist skin, warmth, and smelling her sweet scent. I closed into her but just as our lips were about to touch, a short but painful stab made my heartbeat rush like never before, feeling some fright and fury at the same time.

“Enough.” → Shen

I distanced myself from her and took out a cloak from my inventory, covering her whole body with it then stepping on the water away from her.

“Forget everything. Goodnight.” → Shen
“W-what? Shen?” → Sylvia
“I said goodnight.” → Shen

I then shoot out flying on my own toward my room inside William’s villa, trying to calm my revolted heart that almost broke from the strong shock.


Sylvia then remained alone with shock and surprise covering her face, at first unaware of what happened, until a mocking voice resounded in her mind such making her heart to sting from pain and frustration.

[Hahahaha~! Being rejected so directly. What a sad little girl you are~, Luna.]

“Rosabhi…” → Sylvia

She clenched her fists as she frowned in distress.

You… did you tell him? → Sylvia

At her question, Rosabhi only felt more amused as he laughed aloud in her head, making for her frown to deepen.

[Tell him what? About how you just closed a portal that might have let him return back home? About how you tried to make him forget about it by simply stealing his heart again? About lying to him just for your egotistical reasons~? GYAHAHAHAHA~! I REALLY WANT TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING! TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETRAYED ONCE AGAIN! But that fool made sure to seal our connection until it was impossible for me to even affect his thoughts! Whatever I do, it’s impossible for me to reach him. However, you Luna, someone who’s sharing such a strong bond with him and already learned one of the fundamental TRUTHS… I can see that talking with you is no trouble.]

So you told him nothing… And all I did was for the good of Sario, nothing that would betray him. I can’t let my home-planet be destroyed just like that. And I’m sure that even Shen won’t accept this if he still had his memories. → Sylvia

[Wrong, you Demigod! He is not “Shen” you knew of! Now he’s “Johan”! Omisus from before arriving into this broken world! Do you think the only reason he’s like this is that I ate his heart? Boahahahaha~! Even though you found out everything about him, that doesn’t mean you understand him completely, foolish girl. He was like this even before knowing you, or everyone else. Back on Earth, he saw nobody as his equal. He never admired anybody, neither has he looked up to someone. His only world was the moment he sat down at a cup of tea with his mother, but anything else was just “a test of will” or “a test of heart”, while his final goal was PURE POWER! The power to dominate, the power to control and subdue! Everything, for him, seems like a challenge! Now, who are you to say what he truly wants, when all he wishes for is to “finish the challenge named LIFE”, and achieve more and more power?! He’s a lone-soul, little Demigod, nobody and nothing can change that. No. Matter. What! And you, as Luna, know it all too well~.]

Sylvia muted for a moment then she continued as she closed her eyes.

What I know as a complete soul will be revealed to me once this life ends. As for you; a devil who only sees the dark will never be able to learn the entire truth… What I’m doing is for Shen… for Johan, for Omisus himself, as well. Right now, just like you, he sees only the darkness of this world you showed him. While what I’m trying, is to show him the light as well. Only after he can see both sides equally will I let him make his decisions. Until then, I won’t let him do something that might only succumb his mind into darkness and regret once again… I can’t let him follow his impulses any longer. → Sylvia

[Bah! You’re just trying to use him!]

Say what you wish, devil. I will just follow my heart. Just the way you’ll continue to follow your blind revenge.  → Sylvia

She then closed her conversation with Rosabhi and walked slowly toward a tree on which lowered branches, her clothes were waiting to be worn once again.

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